There are five hundred million facebook users and the average number of friends any user has is 130. Fifty percent of active users log in every day and I do it before I brush my teeth or even get out of bed. I don’t know how many friends Mark Zuckerberg has but his facebook page lists 2,381,043 people who like him.
Oprah Winfrey says that many people want to ride in the limousine with you, but a true friend will take the bus with you when the limousine breaks down. And it is the playwright Plautus who said that nothing is better than heaven itself than a true friend. This is the year I will meet every one of them.
I have 323 facebook friends. Two of them are my boys–Joseph and Eastman–and I’m not allowed to comment when they are tagged passed out on someone’s sofa with a bottle of Beam. One of them is my stepdaughter who is the coolest mom ever. My father Justin and my sister K.C. are friends. I have no idea who InDa Loop is–nor do I recall how I became friends with Robert Thater, Aubrey Yates or Brian Brethauer. I have several celebrity facebook friends–Elmore Leonard, Gilbert Gottfried, Libby Hellman, Alex Beh, MC Kato, Vince P. and news anchors Joan Esposito and Steve Sanders. One of my friends has been dead for more than a century, but somehow, we communicate just fine. Most of my facebook friends are in the Midwest but I’m going to have to do some traveling to Mumbai, the Philipines, Wales, Italy, and Lebanon. On a personal note, Reggie Gholston, please don’t go back to Baghdad. I don’t want to have to visit you there.
p.s. it’s actually 324 friends. Welcome, Nabil!
my new year’s resolution is to meet every facebook friend i have. some are friends from college (gulp, thirty years ago) that probably don’t remember me. some are folks i’ve never met at all–including several people i am certain i don’t know at all. some are people in my hometown that i see every day–yeah, that’s you, lisa. i will have to travel to wales, mumbai, vietnam, korea, and mexico city. i hope federico will make me pizza in sienna. i want to snow mobile with christy in alaska. i want azanthiel moon to play music for me. i will face foster siblings, former employees, old boyfriends, two former girlfriends of my ex, and then there’s all the friends of my kids who have asked me to be their facebook friend without realizing the consequences. . . . .
how many of your facebook friends do you see on a regular basis? isn’t it weird to find out that someone’s relationship is “complicated”, that they had fish tacos for dinner or that they really like Justin Bieber–and then realize that you know a lot about someone you don’t really know at all?
mark zuckerberg promised me popularity and privacy. i’m not sure i got either–but he also said i have friends, he said all of us have friends, he said he’d keep me in touch with my friends. now i’m going to go one step further–and meet my friends.