Monthly Archives: November 2011

the breakfast club convenes at the northfield grill and i might be the bastard of the day

we jump right into winter here in chicago, sometimes without regard to the calendar.  today was that day and i went to the beach where a few short summers ago my father justin (f2fb friend #30) shared a bottle of champagne and dumped fritz’s ashes into lake michigan.  fritz died in 1992 and i’m not sure where justin had been storing the ashes.  justin recited a poem, i mumbled a hail mary, and then i held my breath because as fritz was slipping out of the zip-lock sandwich bag there was a light breeze coming in off the lake.  i sure hope we didn’t violate any state or federal laws regarding the disposal of human remains.

i’ve seen a lot of friends this year and this morning, i was to meet f2fb friends #266 and 267 karen tuchmann gray and joe yolles.  but it isn’t the first time we’ve seen each other this year.  i’ve run into karen and joe at block parties, jam sessions for joe’s band (the yolles brothers band), at lakeside foods, at football parties.

we met at the northfield grill and you might be surprised that i have gained weight this year, at one point a full eight pounds. but i lost four pounds on the "go around the world in seventeen days" diet, which consisted almost exclusively of airplane food and beer. should i write a diet book?

 

karen is a dance instructor and has written a short book on fairies.  joe is a math teacher and a gifted drummer.  they declined to make fun of me when i explained the recent problem i encountered when i confused vancouver, washington and vancouver, british columbia and booked all sorts of train tickets and hotel rooms based  on not knowing the existence of the former and believing myself to be on my way to the latter.  they are an adorable couple and i hope the coming year allows for more meetings of the breakfast club.  should we ask for a bigger booth so you can be a part of this?

the two adorables! there is, however, a wind and severe weather advisory in chicago so i hightailed it out of the grill and aimed for home. duraflame logs in the fireplace and no obligations except. . . .

 

this afternoon, at five fifteen i’ll be on http://www.maximumink.com/index.php/radio/schedule/ — with  edub and jimmyk . . . i sure hope i’m not named bastard of the day which is a feature of their show!


i finally meet some royalty. . . and some heavy metal coming up!

today, i met a very special facebook friend, the grand vizier of the twelfth night gala of chicago.  the twelfth night party is the longest running party in the city.  it originated in 1905 and, oddly enough, my great grandfather fritz leiber, sr. and my grandfather fritz leiber, jr. attended.

mr. grand vizier didn't actually show up at our introduction in his attire from last year's gala. this coming year will be 2012 and the very rare year in which it's the twelfth night of the twelfth year. . .

i have met a lot of interesting people this year and not all of them have been the original 325 facebook friends i had when i made my new years resolution.  i remember tom bremer in los angeles and the smallish but still flashmob in new york on brazil street.  i’ve met a few chicagoans i haven’t expected and i”ve accidentally missed a few connections of new friends in cities where they had the desire to see me but my schedule was too compacted.

the twelfth night party is very exclusive but very fun–it is very exclusive but only through facebook did we establish that i am actually a “legacy” invite.  i think planning a party of this size, scope and history must be extremely challenging.

 

speaking of challenging, i am trying to do my own itinerary for the pacific northwest conquest of facebook friends.  in the course of booking trains amongst the cities of eugene, portland, vancouver, seattle, i got confused.

 

tomorrow at five fifteen central time i am the guest of the bastard den show at maxinkradio.com–it’s a heavy metal show and i sure hope i don’t get tagged as bastard of the day!!!!


a little loco and less than five degrees away from . . . everybody on facebook!

a newly released facebook study claims that we are only 4.74 degrees of separation from any other person who uses facebook.  and if you’re looking for a stranger who is from the same country, that separation drops to three people.  so that means that i am one friend away from a friend of kevin bacon.

a game called six degrees of separation from kevin bacon establishes the links between every person in the movie industry to bacon. the game was invented at albright college by bored students in a pre-facebook era.

after thanksgiving dinner, i met f2fb friend #263 macon foscue the 4th.  he buys and sells precious metals as ceo of chicago precious metals.  in this time of economic crash and burn, he thinks precious metals are a great investment.  if i had enough money, i would buy gold and silver.  possibly at tiffany’s.

why does santa only say ho? i thought he was supposed to say ho ho ho! is it that santa is trying to cut corners on his vocabulary? or is it more tawdry than that? all the christmas stuff in store windows are reminding me that i have only a few short weeks to visit the remaining facebook friends on my list.

the next day i met up with friends #264 vijay sarthy and #265 don graf.  the two men have been friends ever since vijay–an opthamologist by day–auditioned for the village follies, a fundraiser variety show put on every year at the winnetka community house.  and during the summer, the two men are part of a group that keeps a standing golf appointment from memorial day weekend to labor day.  as part of my f2fb project, i’m going to audition for the show as well.  i might have to take something a bit bracing before i put on those dancing shoes.

i know vijay because he is the stepfather of f2fb friend #25 max henderson.  max is my older son joseph’s best friend and max stayed with us the day that his father colvin succumbed to cancer.  i have not spent a lot of time with vijay and i was charmed by his quick wit.  i know don mostly through other friends.  don is a dj for soirees at various north shore hot spots.  we spent some time reminiscing and trading stories about mutual friends.

as we were about to part,don said that even though we didn’t know each other very well, he had a present from him and vijay.

special golf balls just for me!!!!

 

i had to ask them about their game.  i was surprised by their response.

to read more, go to http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/11/22/facebook-claims-474-degrees-kevin-bacon/


you’re invited! to a pity party! in fact, you can just stay home because that’s where the best pity parties are!

so the weekend before turkey day was actually quite a good one for f2fb!  i got to see f2fb friend #261 kristan schmidt who is the director of walkabout theater in chicago.  we didn’t see a walkabout production, instead we saw “ask aunt susan” at the goodman theater.  the goodman is great chicago theater.   they have several shows running on any one night, they have a bar and a gift shop.  they were especially hawking items for “a christmas carole” which has just opened*.  the goodman building had been a xxx-rated movie theater when i was a teenager.  now that there’s the internet there’s no need for that sort of theater.  ain’t progress grand?

my great grandfather fritz leiber, sr., was a shakespearean actor who often appeared in chicago. here, he is pictured on the movie set of "cleopatra" with his costar theda bara

kristan is friends with seth bokey the playwright and the show was terrific.  and very deep.  so much social commentary that i was a little lost.  after the play, there was a talk back session with the director.  i went out to the bar and got me and kristan a drink.  that’s when i discovered that it’s uncouth to bring your plastic glass of wine into the theater.  i felt like a late stage alcoholic.  or at least that people were looking at me like i was one.

it was great to catch up with kristan. she produced a play eastman was in six years ago. she has had twins since then.

the next night,   i went to the mary-arrchie theater to see the work of f2fb friend #262 carlo garcia who directed “red light winter”.  chicago is a town of great theater diversity.  the mary-arrchie is what some might call “storefront” theater or, to be very precise, “right over the liquor store” theater.  the door to the theater warned that “nudity, strong sexual content, violence, and drug use” would be part of the production.  it was a lot of sin to fit into an hour and a half and it got fit in quite nicely.  and i didn’t realize that the custom of the theater is to purchase a bottle of something at the store and forget glassware.  during the second act, one audience member dropped her cabernet sauvignon and the bottle rolled towards the actors.

tickets for red light winter can be purchased at maryarrchie.com and christmas carole tickets can be purchased at goodmantheatre.org -- please don't get the two plays confused!

but then i had a set back.  my sunday friend cancelled.  and so did the one for monday.  and wednesday.  sure, it was the lead up to thanksgiving and people’s schedules were tightening.  and then i think the worst thing happened:  the self-loathing kicking in.

i’ve made some mistakes with this project.  some that probably will make it difficult to finish this by december 31.   so i had a big pity party. . .

you're invited to a pity party! must wear pajamas. must not answer phone. must not go outside. must repeat "life is hopeless". exaggerate the importance of physical maladies. be afraid of everything outside of your house. and a few things inside your house.

it was my joseph who called me at thanksgiving.  it is an element of this pity party that neither of my two boys would be coming home for the holiday.  joseph said i was allowed the rest of the day.  then it had to stop.  eastman called me and repeated the same thing.  so today i am taking off my pajamas and wearing something else.  oh, and i have my lunch set up with f2fb friend #263. . . .

a pity party is easy to set up.  hard to take down.  but the first step for me is to forgive myself and open the front door.  the whole reason for the new years resolution is so that i don’t end up one of those reclusive old ladies with seventeen cats and a collection of all the winnetka talk back issues since before the last world war whose house no kid will approach for trick or treating.


if i’ve only one life. . .

if i've only one life, let me live it as a blonde was a cathphrase clairol used in 1960s advertisements

it’s been a long time since i have lived in my natural hair color.  in fact, i’m not sure what it is.  every six weeks or so, i get depressed enough that i go to walgreens and buy a box of feria by l’oreal. i use the same shade that is widely advertised to be used by beyonce–#72 dark golden blonde.  oddly enough, i never end up looking like beyonce. i’m not alone in my endeavors. over seventy percent of american women color their hair and going blonde(r) is THE color.

in addition to coloring my hair, i cut my own hair.  usually on the front lawn so that the little snips of hair don’t get all over the house.  i assume somewhere is a very young squirrel who doesn’t appreciate how his mommy brings home nesting materials made from my hair.  people always know when i have cut my hair.  they get a quizzical look on their face.  it’s not quite a look of approval.   i think it’s that they’re wondering if they can help in some way.  especially since i usually don’t use a mirror.   i don’t like getting my nails done, getting a massage, enduring a facial, suffering through a pedicure.  as bad as i was about the fish pedicure in brighton, i’m even worse if there’s a human touching my toes.

so when f2fb friend #260 bridget greco-cokefair suggested that i come to the taylor reese salon in highland park i was queasy.  don’t get me wrong–bridget is wonderful.  she used to color my sons’ hair when they would get parts in plays or movies that required them to be blondes.  or, in the case of joseph, full on white hair.  she’s been very good to our family.  she said she wanted to make me look like the real me.  just better.

i sat in her chair.  she has two chairs going at one time.  the woman in bridget’s second chair seemed perfectly at ease reading a magazine while she waited for her hair to “proecess”.  bridget asked me what i wanted done with my hair.  i said “whatever you want”, secretly hoping she’d go for pink.

bridget put a cape around my shoulders and began slathering my hair with colorant and then wrapping the hair with foil.  i started turning red.  bright red.  my face, my chest, my arms.  i had trouble breathing. i wondered how ridiculous the paramedics would consider me if i were to have to be transported to the hospital with half my head wrapped in foil.  also, would that half end up frying off my scalp????

“if you need to get up and walk around,” bridget offered.

but i knew if i got up i wouldn’t sit down again and then i would have half my head wrapped in tin foil.  also, everybody in the salon–all of them looking quite soigne and relaxed–would know i was incapable of managing the most simple tasks of the twenty first century life.  i played it cool.

“does anybody else ever. . . ?”

“get nervous in the chair?”  bridget prompted.  “absolutely!  a lot of my customers are that way.  i even get hives sometimes when i’m getting my hair done.  i’ll be done in ten minutes and then you can walk all over the place.”

wow!  that was reassuring.  so i went with it.  i was red.  and redder.  like a maraschino cherry in a turtleneck sweater.  and then, after a bit, i just let go of the feeling.  the hives disappeared.  and here’s what i ended up with–

if i have only one life to live, maybe i should live it as i am? i have lots of flaws and quirks and one of them is that i've always thought that being a blonde was the platonic ideal of womanhood. also, that beyonce is. on the latter point, i'm absolutely right and jay-z says it's so! p.s. i'm still a little red-faced.

bridget was shy about having her picture taken but she was quite happy with the results of her efforts–and i am too.  i think this might be the color God made me with!

if you want an appointment with bridget, just call taylor reese salon in highland park at 847 432 8800 or go to their website at taylor-reese.com!


jimmy kimmel’s national unfriend day–have i suffered?

this past december i made a new years resolution to meet each of my facebook friends.  at the time, i had 325 friends–well above the facebook average of 130.  i wasn’t sure who all my friends actually were and some friends i hadn’t seen in such a long time that their posts declaring that they were having fish tacos for dinner did nothing to solidify our bonds of amity.

so each day i make preparations, travel, do whatever’s necessary to meet my facebook friends.  during the year, i have gotten used to flying although not so much used to having the t.s.a. give me the once over.

con air is a movie about a criminal transport plane that is taken over by the criminals. it must be confusing for t.s.a. agents to distinguish between dangerous felons and people who just want to go to disneyworld.

 

yesterday was national unfriend day, declared by our country’s leading social commentator jimmy kimmel.  i decided i would figure out if i have been unfriended by any of the people i was going to meet.  i knew about claudia from dortmund and miss s. from turkey but i was surprised to find out that an astonishing eleven people have un-friended me. although, to be fair, in one case it was my son joseph’s girlfriend deactivating her account and then when she reactivated it i didn’t make the friendship grade.  and i have unfriended two people, both because they were harassing me.  and three people have become so famous that i am no longer a friend but am merely a fan. if you have a facebook account, see if you can figure out if you were unfriended by anybody yesterday.

you don't get a sad face notification when you have been unfriended

luckily, there are some friends who have made me feel quite welcome this week.  f2fb friend #257 jean louis-boury invited me to the home he shares with his wife bella (who became my facebook friend today!) and their six children.  the six children range in age from two to twenty four and i find it awe-inspiring that they were able to accomplish this without the use of extra spouses.  we chatted over a bottle of champagne while some children did their homework.  at some point, the two youngest wanted to go visit grandmom who lives a few blocks away.  one of the brothers volunteered to drive them over.  the bourys are a very cool, very loving family!

the third eldest boury son nic is a friend of my younger son eastman. in real life. and quite possibly on facebook.

 

oxford university professor robin dunbar, author of how many friends does one person need? believes we are capable of juggling only about one hundred and fifty friends.  maybe so, but if you join a rotary club, you’ve automatically got yourself four million friends.  although you don’t necessarily have to expand your christmas card list.  yesterday, at winnetka’s rotary meeting, i invited f2fb friend #258 don van arsdale.  he had been at the winnetka rotary until he took a job in nearby glencoe’s park district.  i was astonished to realize that in the two years since he had gone to glencoe, i had only communicated with him through facebook.  also at rotary was f2fb friend #259 bill finke who sat with us and we caught up during the luncheon portion of the meeting.

meeting of two presidents--f2fb friend #258 on the right is don van arsdale. f2fb friend #259 bill finke is on the left. bill and i have been president of winnetka's rotary club. don is president of glencoe's club.

 

i miss having don at the winnetka club.  every thursday meeting, he had some new book he was reading–usually history and if i picked up a copy i would always discover that it was great.  and i admire don greatly in part because he once walked the camino di santiago.  well, not all of it.  but he’s planning on doing it again at different points in his life.  the camino di santiago, known in english as “the way of st. james” is a following of the old pilgrimage routes leading to the santiago de compestella where a cathedral holds the remains of the apostle st. james.*

 

 

*learn more at http://www.caminodesantiago.me.uk/


thank God it wasn’t paintball!

if i ever move to a new town, i shall take a job with caribou coffee.  within a month, i’m sure i’ll have some friends.  it’s like creating your own facebook profile and friends list from scratch.  also, the pay is pretty darn good, especially when you add in tips (note to i.r.s. there are no tips) and why not starbucks?  oddly, it’s f2fb friend #256 melissa palka who gave me a good reason to not go with the seattle folks.

starbucks was named for the first mate in herman melville's novel moby dick

melissa explained that the rules at starbucks are a bit more rigid than at caribou.  for instance, a starbucks barista is expected to spend no more than thirty seconds interacting with a customer while still trying to establish a personal relationship that will make the customer feel loyalty.  thirty seconds feels like 140 characters–you need more than that.  melissa and i went to lazer quest to work off some caffeine jitters.

when i first separated from my husband, i tried really hard to make time with my sons be special.  it was a guilty parent move.  joseph would fire off all his rounds within the first thirty seconds and retire the field.  younger brother eastman would be quite aggressive but he had a backup that he wasn’t aware of–me–and so he took risks he shouldn’t have.

melissa is a wonderful gal but i think she had cased the joint before we started.  final score:  melissa 121 and me?  a negative 28.  and i fired several rounds into an employee who wasn’t too keen about it. the title of this post says it all.

later, melissa and i had a drink and talked about her ambitions.  she is in line to become a shift manager.  and from there, who knows.  caribou has a lot of room for ambitious baristas.

i drove home feeling pretty good despite the bruising score.  so i was surprised when i woke up the next morning with a case of “don’t go out of the house”. . . an anxiety attack that strangled me all day.  two ativan didn’t make a dent in it.  a hot shower provided no relief.  i watched several episodes of glee and that didn’t do anything.  i listened to a meditation tape.  i tried to walk to the workout room.  but i turned around after a block.  i was just too scared.

and it weirded me out because i kept thinking “i’ve been around the world!”  somehow i thought i had fundamentally changed.  it felt like defeat that i hadn’t.  later in the day, i forced myself out the door.  i walked towards the grocery store and on the way met jo caylor who is yes a f2fb friend but also someone from the neighborhood.  she asked me why i was shaking so much.  i started to talk, was pretty much incoherent.  she did what anybody should do to me when they see me like this.  she gave me a hug.

jo knows someone who is just like me, who gets out of the house even less than i did before i started this project.  i asked her what made this person so afraid.  and jo said “something bad always happens to her when she leaves the house, or at least, that’s what she thinks.”

maybe that’s what i was thinking yesterday.  maybe i just couldn’t think of what the bad thing was.

after seeing jo and walking around for a bit, i went to caribou and said hi to melissa!


the high price of friendship is all worth it

elizabeth gilbert got an advance from a publisher to finance a trip to italy, india and finally indonesia. she got a movie deal and found true love. oh, and probably enlightenment too!

 

americans don’t like to talk about money–how much or how little.  but some people have asked how i have financed this year of facebook friends.  and it’s pretty simple:  i saved a lot and i’ve tried to spend as little.  every parent with a kid getting a degree in film knows there’s going to have to be some “seed capital” as a graduation present.

“you’d want some creative input, wouldn’t you?”  joseph asked me when i offered him the money.

“well, yeah, a little, sure,”  i prevaricated.

i've published thirty three books and written two plays that have been performed in chicago. i can't help wanting to have some creative input. thank goodness i wasn't around when michelangelo was painting that stuff on the ceiling!

 

“then, no thanks, mom,”  joseph said. “i’m going to do something on my own.  no offense.”

and that’s when i realized i had just about enough to do this year of traveling and meeting every facebook friend.  i’ve also had help from friends and family, both those with facebook accounts and those who think facebook is a waste of time and an encroachment on their privacy.

i've also published under the name vivian leiber. sex scenes are actually harder to write than you'd imagine. i don't ever feel sexy afterwards.

last night, i went out with f2fb friend #254 jean huyler who used to work in a book store and also has worked in marketing.  she said “you have to think of this as a book”  and of course i do because, frankly, i’m not sure i know how to do anything else but write and play scrabble.  the market for scrabble players with no talent is rather limited. so i think i have to consider how to use this year to write a book–because i will most certainly be broke at the end of the year.  a high price, sure, but i’ve really had some remarkable experiences of friendship that could never have happened if i didn’t make that silly new years eve resolution!

jean is very relaxed, sitting with a glass of champagne in one hand. champagne is, after all, the reason God gave us two hands!

 

i told jean to find me a publisher.  actually, anybody reading this is encouraged to find me a publisher.  and diamonds.  you can look for diamonds for me, that’s okay.  any ideas, feel free to send them to me at apresser@hotmail.com or send a carrier pigeon.

jean and i went to the music theatre company founded by f2fb friend #255 jessica redish.  jessica has been in theater forever,but she hasn’t lost the ability to do other things.  founding a theater company means you learn to do a lot of things–fundraising, talent promotion, marketing.  we laughed when remembered that she had directed my younger son in the opera falsettos and his voice was changing.  luckily, james lapin and william finn used very modern music so you could hardly tell when eastman was offkey.  and when he croaked you just thought “wow, how very sondheim in a mahler kind of way!”

jessica would love to have you take a look at the music theatre company in highland park--just go to themusicaltheatrecompany.org

 


upon returning home, but briefly. . .

i got  a very odd post on my wall from a facebook friend i haven’t been able to see this year.  i know nothing about her except that twice she has received free iphones and has been so kind as to pass along the information.  i sure hope i get to meet her, because i have tried every which way of communicating with her and she hasn’t responded.

i have some facebook friends like that.  after i came back from the seventeen day nineteen city, twelve country facebook tour, i sat down with the spread sheet and i was suprised to discover that fully seventeen facebook friends had not responded to any invitation i proffered.  well, one dude said that he had wanted to date me for several years and now i only wanted to see him because of my “stupid project” and “screw you”.  which i think is a no.

but today i got this note from nova.  it is the second post i have ever received from her.  i replied with two comments:

OMG! i got new iphone 4s, I got it for FREE here http://goo.gl/zMBdc, takes a second to find out if you qualify too!
  • Robert Mayer likes this.
    • Arlynn Leiber Pressernova, OMG! i’m so happy to hear from you! i have been trying to reach you–messaging you, writing on your wall! i have a new years resolution to meet all the facebook friends i had as of december 31, 2010. and that includes you! so where do you live? when can i see you? what do you like to do?

      a few seconds ago · Like
    • Arlynn Leiber Presser btw, you can read about my adventures with other facebook friends at http://arlynnpresser.wordpress.com/– i’ve had a really wonderful year and i’m very grateful to the friends that have met me. you know, oddly, the only other communication i’ve received from you was about your free iphone. you got a free iphone right around the time we became friends!

      arlynnpresser.wordpress.com

      Just another WordPress.com site
      2 seconds ago · Like ·
  • Write a comment…
  • oh, well, i’ll find out soon whether i have a friend AND whether i’m getting a new iphone.  what do you think?

this past weekend, as i struggled with jet lag, i also struggled with some other “re-entry” issues.  i don’t have to shower with my panties on so i can wash them.

i lost twelve pairs of panties in twelve different countries. and the only action i was getting was from female t.s.a. agents! there's some injustice there.

 

i was using one carry on bag so i couldn’t bring perfume–so i dashed into every pharmacy, department store and duty free shop looking for tester bottles of thierry mugler’s angel perfume or, in a pinch, guerlain’s shalimar.  i have spent so much money on this trip that i don’t think i’m giving up that habit.

the food here in winnetka is weird too.  it comes out of my refrigerator.  and nobody seems interested in making my bed or putting chocolates on my pillow.  on the other hand, some of the hotel experiences weren’t so good and i’m grateful that there are no mouse droppings on the bathroom sink.

sleep is the biggest problem.  joseph bounced back right away.  i’ve been having trouble. the first night i was free, i went to st. sebastian players.  my f2fb friends #252 nancy pollock and #253 john oster were helping out with a production of the elephant man.

everybody claps for actors but who gives the love to the gal who runs the house or the dude who puts in the lights?

 

i was scared i would fall asleep but i didn’t.  the show was really wonderful!  i reminded both nancy and john that we’ll be working again in june as i have an idea for a play about clarence darrow.  it has to have an explosion in it.  i like my theater to make the people in the first row piss their pants.

i am only home for a bit, as i have to start planning a quick trip to new york and a more protracted trip up the northwestern passage.  it’s a sprint, but i will finish!  and i sure hope i get a free iphone!

 


welcome home world travelers and a facebook friends takes liberties with me

nothing says home sweet home like a bottle of veuve clicquot in the refrigerator, freshly delivered roses, a four foot stack of mail, and a cake on the kitchen counter!

i am home and i survived the trip with my son joseph.  some rough stats:

1.  we traveled–however briefly–to or through korea, taiwan, the philippines, malaysia, india, united arab emirates, italy, austria, germany, england, and ireland–approximately 24,000 miles altogether!

2.  we set out to meet eleven facebook friends and were on a schedule of breathtaking speed.  we failed to meet one facebook friend (mark del rosario) because he had appendicitis.  his wife nona stepped in for him.  we failed to meet rahul guru because his work schedule was unexpectedly changed–he sent his emissary f2fb friend #244 anto prashanth.  we missed alessandro cerea because he got deployed a little earlier than expected but we are going to figure out how to meet before the end of the year.  and i was defriended by claudia from dortmund.  all in all, i count it as we saw nine friends or their designated ambassadors of good will.

jennifer christine harris of des moines, iowa was arrested for burning down the home of nikki rasmussen who had defriended her on facebook. i don't think i will be burning down claudia's house. i had too much of a good time in dortmund!

3.  we didn’t rip each other’s heads off.  my son is twenty three years old.  plenty of my contemporaries complain about the relationships they have with their adult children.  i think they should go on trips together.  i learned to treat him as an equal.  he has a soft spot in his heart for his mom.

so when i returned to chicago, i was (am still) suffering from strange jet lag.  but the new years resolution continues.  i went to see my f2fb friend #250 joe kral.  i had never met him before and yet i agreed to meet him at his home.  i allowed him to kiss me.  on the mouth and hand and ear.  he shoved his nose between my legs at the very point where t.s.a. agents like to linger with their blue gloves and wands.  i also allowed four of his friends those same liberties.  it was quite a party!

joe has his own facebook page and has many dog and human facebook friends.  he is in a relationship with maya sharona joffe.  joe’s older brother bob kral recently died of bone cancer and had his own page as well.  bob was married to maya’s sister sasha.  dogs relationships are just as complicated as those of humans.

joe’s account is run by his human mother f2fb friend #251 pb kral who is a dog whisperer.  she helps people who think their dogs are the problem:  it is usually the people who need to change.  pb says the biggest mistake people make is to treat their dogs like human beings and not like dogs.  she is the alpha for five dogs:  joe, tommy, brea, brad, and billy.

pb, joe and me — with brad in the red coat. . . .
ordinarily i am afraid of dogs and i am also allergic to them.  the dogs were very well behaved because their alpha pb kept them in line.  i got a little itchy towards the end of the dog party but i had the most wonderful time!!!!  i started to think that maybe, just maybe, i could be a pet owner but only if i could have joe. . . .

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 571 other followers