i’ve been totally intrigued by some of the suggestions that my facebook and even nonfacebook friends have been giving me for how to deal with my breakup with mr. pinot grigio.
one suggestion–candy.
and it sort of makes sense. alcohol is converted into sugar by your liver. so why not replace the alcoholic sugars with some regular old-fashioned not so good but not quite as bad for you sugar?
i went to a self-pity party last night around midnight. i couldn’t get to sleep. had made a promise to not have a drink. had run out of hulu.com sitcoms–raising hope, the office, 30 rock, parks and recreation–to watch. downton abbey season three is over and so, it seemed, was my life.
i am the sort to have a last glass of wine after dinner instead of wasting my calories on dessert but i decided to give this sugar substitution a try. i read the evelyn waugh book “scoop” while consuming the following: a one pound bag of jelly beans, a box of dark chocolate chip cookies, a box of chocolate covered raspberries, a reese’s package i found in the freezer, four girl scout cookies (the thin mints) and a mango. the mango was purely so i could cop to being a healthy eater.
i slept. in fact, i overslept. and i wonder–is the world going to love a 200 pound smokin’ hot me?
February 23rd, 2013 at 9:39 pm
You love me and I am a 172 lbs! LOL! At least you active. I went to the mall today…first time in a year and a half. 5 hours walking. My feet and legs are killing me. Plus side though, I might have a job at the fine jewelry department at Sear’s. Yikes, To start a retail job after three years sitting on my butt is gonna kill me but I know I will get used to it again.
February 23rd, 2013 at 10:22 pm
a job!!!! i am so happy for you! and dollface, i adore you whatever weight you choose for yourself!
February 24th, 2013 at 8:20 pm
Miss X, this news makes my day!!!! I am so happy for you! That Sears is so lucky. They’re about to hire YOU!
February 23rd, 2013 at 9:56 pm
Actually, I think that good chocolate can be converted to alcohol, so maybe it goes both ways. I believe that some people in Switzerland have transgressed the motor vehicle code as a result of having ingested too much chocolate, and then having jumped into some tiny Euro-roadster curving this way and that way around the Alps, and maybe zigging and maybe zagging when they should have been maybe zagging and then maybe zigging. I believe I read this on the internet, so I believe it to be true.
February 23rd, 2013 at 10:23 pm
i’m on my way to the godiva chocolate store right now!!!
February 24th, 2013 at 11:58 pm
Macy’s omg! had Godiva chocolate at every register…got caught by my supervisor, popping a square in my mouth on the sales floor. I was like the cat caught with the bird in it’s mouth! I started cracking up holding my hand over my mouth as I swallowed it. He was sore but in the end was all good!
February 23rd, 2013 at 11:19 pm
Recommended reading: http://www.radiantrecovery.com/alcohol.html
February 24th, 2013 at 12:20 am
as always i love the stuff you suggest!
February 24th, 2013 at 5:37 am
So this sugar path, probably not so good, eh? What other
steps are you taking if you don’t mind me asking?
February 24th, 2013 at 2:15 pm
sugar probably isn’t good for me, but the alternative my lizard brain wants is a glass of wine. i’m just enough of a girl that i won’t do both. it’s a temporary substitution. i have been going to at least one a.a. meeting a day although i am not sold on the program. i admire the stories i hear. and i have been networking with other women in sobriety. i have also ramped up my exercise program. i am not sure what other steps i can do although i’ve noticed that when i talk to people who went to particular outpatient rehabs or hazelden or a hypnotherapist that worked for them they tend to tell me that’s the only course of action i should do. i’m still feeling my way.
February 24th, 2013 at 3:23 pm
Glad to hear you’re trying something!
When I read your post, I pictured you do a cave woman thing. Great that you’re getting out there! How do you feel about seeing a counselor (Psychologist)? A really good one can help you with the decision making process.
February 23rd, 2013 at 11:45 pm
Dear ArLynn,
I’m afraid I can’t offer any worthwhile advice about candy or sugar metabolism or dieting.
And my ideas about drinking (or not) are so far outside of the tenets of Currently Approved Social Doctrine that I don’t think you’d be interested. (I’ve been strongly influenced by Thomas Szasz, if that tells you anything.)
But I am glad to hear you are back home. There’s no place like home.
Today I read more about your general situation and circumstances, and it seems my initial assessment was ill-informed and hastily over-pessimistic.
I mean you seem to be doing better than I first thought. I very much doubt that you need any help I could still offer in my present condition, though of course, I would be honored to assist in any way that lies in my small power.
Be well and happy,
David H. Hawley
February 24th, 2013 at 12:55 am
I would have eaten a whole giant ass birthday cake
Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:27:39 +0000 To: arizonapeebs@hotmail.com
February 24th, 2013 at 12:56 am
if the giant ass birthday cake had been in my apartment, i would have!
February 24th, 2013 at 10:40 am
Personally I love to replace the alcohol calories with a fat slice of cake – what a great excuse!
p.s. Hi
February 24th, 2013 at 2:11 pm
hi sweetpea, i am not a cake person but i do have a friend in florida who makes specialty cakes. maybe i should contact her?
February 24th, 2013 at 1:28 pm
The thin mints were a good choice. I don’t know about the rest. All i moderation. It will even out eventually. Sugar as a substitute for alcohol will work in a pinch, I think. Substitution is good. As long as it’s working for you. Truffles are a good substitute. They are so sweet you can’t eat too many. And they come in raspberry and orange so they are almost like cocktails.
February 24th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
i know it’s wrong, but it makes me feel just a bit naughty. it’s something i never would have indulged in if i was using calories to drink!
February 24th, 2013 at 2:50 pm
As someone with a slight case of diabetes, I’ve found there are a goodly number of sugar-free candies out there with enough sweet substitutes to fool my body (Not very difficult) and my brain (Only slightly more difficult) into thinking my sweet tooth is being satisfied without adding on a lot of pounds. And being married to a Cookie Mom, I thank you for your Thin Mint contribution. >:-p
February 24th, 2013 at 4:27 pm
thin mints and the peanut butter cookies are two of the great contributions girl scouts have made to our country! i am trying all sorts of things and my goal is only to ensure that mr. alcohol doesn’t interfere with my relationship with the rest of the world. i’ll give the sugar free candies a try lane, and see if i can fool my body. do you have any suggestions of what’s the first delicious treat i should grab off the shelves?
February 24th, 2013 at 8:22 pm
Please have a few more thin mints for me, your diabetic little sis. It’s a “tough job” having my share, too, but hey, SOMEBODY’s got to do it!
February 24th, 2013 at 10:28 pm
i’ll do my best!
February 25th, 2013 at 1:54 am
February 27th, 2013 at 3:37 pm
You’d be smokin’ hot no matter how much you weighed, ArLynn and personally I would always love you! I’m sure we all agree!
February 27th, 2013 at 3:39 pm
AWWWWWWWWW!