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my new year’s resolution

and a challenge for you:

 

this year has been a year of losses, most particularly the loss of my best friend which occurred last week.  but counting up my losses is not as productive as counting blessings.  my new friend boris certainly knows about counting blessings.

in 2011, i made a new year’s resolution to spend the year visiting each and every facebook friend i had at the time.  it was a fun year, a year of discovery, a year of having to push my boundaries.  325 friends?  oh, yeah, and 13 countries and just about every state in the nation.  being an agoraphobic who has difficulty leaving the house it was a challenge.  but it was also a pleasure because i got to be with friends, some of whom i had only known online, some of whom i hadn’t seen in decades, some of whom turned out to be, well, catfish.

 

this year, my resolution is to recover myself.  and to do what my friend mark hashizume calls self-care.  so every day i will do and blog about an act intentionally meant to care for myself.  i ask you, i challenge you, to do the same with me.  we all have had tough years–i have a friend who lost a husband to alzheimer’s. a friend who lost her five year old son to cancer.  a friend whose son committed suicide.  a friend who lost her home (oh, wait, i did too).  and then there’s ryan gosling–

ryan, really, we both have to move on especially now that you and eva are becoming parents.  think of her feelings! and the arlynn presser t-shirt isn't going to make her feel strong and confident as she should!  but truly, i understand your pain.  i'll always love you.

ryan, really, we both have to move on especially now that you and eva are becoming parents. think of her feelings! and the arlynn presser t-shirt isn’t going to make her feel strong and confident as she should! but truly, i understand your pain. i’ll always love you.

how do you self-care?  how do you think  should start self-care?  and can we help each other self-care together?


merry little christmas


addressing those pesky rumors–


santa baby

gettting started a little early . . .

 


maybe i will buy you that life insurance. . . .

last year i had somebody ask me to buy life insurance in order to “protect” them if i died.  i said no way, i have watched lifetime movies, you buy a guy life insurance and he’ll try to kill you before the next commercial break.  dude said “you’d have to be alive a year before i could collect on you” which is not exactly “baby baby baby i can’t imagine life without you!”

 

i don’ t have life insurance to protect anybody.  my kids know where the change jar is and nobody else seems to be inclined to be protected.  but this commercial which has been airing on my thai soap operas makes me want to go to thailand and buy some!

 

 

 

 

after watching it, i gotta ask–


my superhero went home to daddy

my superhero ashton flew away last night.  he was five years old.  he had battled cancer for the past several months.  he had endured a stem cell transplant and lived at the dayton children’s hospital and then at cincinnati children’s hospital with his mother erin.

when i visited ashton at cincinnati, he had a favorite friend isaac.  both boys are superheroes.

when i visited ashton at cincinnati, he had a favorite friend isaac. both boys are superheroes.

 

ashton was diagnosed in a particularly horrific fashion.  he and his mother were going to his sisters confirmation.  ashton and erin were going to stay overnight with me but ended up in the hospital because ashton had an ear infection.  the doctors figured out he had cancer. i'm sure i would have broken down a dozen times if i were erin but she has become the strongest woman i know.

ashton was diagnosed in a particularly horrific fashion. he and his mother were going to his sisters confirmation. ashton and erin were going to stay overnight with me but ended up in the hospital because ashton had an ear infection. the doctors figured out he had cancer. i’m sure i would have broken down a dozen times if i were erin but she has become the strongest woman i know.

ashton’s father passed a number of years ago and so i would like to believe that he will be there to greet ashton in the city of remembrance that exists.

goodbye superboy!

goodbye superboy!

 

 

 

 


sutton lee seymour

i have such admiration for this friend of mine!  prescott seymour is a drag queen living in new york who works under the stage name sutton lee seymour.  he is part of the seymour family, which is the most admirable family on earth because they share every holiday, sunday dinners, etc. with each other.  even the exes.  and their kids.  and stepkids.  and futures.

little shop of horrors is a movie/play/movie about audrey II, a carnivorous plant cared for by a florist assistant seymour who named the audrey II in honor of his true love audrey.  audrey is terrorized by the abusive boyfriend orin but finds the courage to leave--because there's "suddenly seymour" the most popular song from this show is "suddenly seymour" which i can't get out of my head right now.  karma alert:   audrey II ends up with a nice orin meal.

little shop of horrors is a movie/play/movie about audrey II, a carnivorous plant cared for by a florist assistant seymour who named the audrey II in honor of his true love audrey. audrey is terrorized by the abusive boyfriend orin but finds the courage to leave–because there’s “suddenly seymour” the most popular song from this show is “suddenly seymour” which i can’t get out of my head right now. karma alert: audrey II ends up with a nice orin meal.

 

meanwhile, my friend works under the name sutton lee seymour sometimes.  and he had this to write:

 

 

I have to tell this story, and please know it’s not praise I’m looking for. It’s change!

I was at my subway stop last night heading to my show, “in face” but in boy clothes. I do this for physical comfort, not from fear of being gay bashed. But last night I encountered a homeless man who decided to scream at me with hate once he saw my face (btw, I looked really pretty last night). I never really encountered this before.

I wasn’t afraid of him because he was on the Queens bound platform and I was on Manhattan bound platform. But he kept screaming, so I moved. But he wouldn’t stop.

And then something just hit me, I needed to do something. I considered going to the MTA folks in the booth but opted against that. Instead I left the subway station and went to the Dunkin Donuts and bought a cheddar, egg, sausage sandwich, a banana, a donut, and a bottle of water. Btw, nobody seemed bothered by my stunning face.

I went back up to the platforms, going to the Queens bound side this time. And I found the homeless man. And yes he did start yelling at me again. And I shut him up saying…

“This food is for you. Please eat up and remember it was a ‘faggot’ who decided to love you instead of ignore you today.”

And he didn’t do anything for a minute so I just left the food in front of him. And then he said thank you, which honestly surprised me because I was expecting more hate. And I left for my platform with no slurs coming from the man. And my train pulled up as I got back over and I saw him eating. And I headed to my show.

I realize that maybe this was risky, but there’s still so much hate out there that we can’t ignore it or fear it. And we can’t change hate with more hate. Only love. Will this change that man forever? Probably not. But I’m certain he won’t forget. At the end of the day, there are people who still need help. And hopefully, that man will think twice before he starts gay bashing. That’s my wish.

 

prescott, you are my hero!

prescott, you are my hero!


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