Tag Archives: friends

snake’s cage

it wasn’t graceful it wasn’t pretty, but i did it.  when my friend asked me to feed his snake.

 

when i first met dude, i had no clue.  because frankly, nobody buries a girl in the backyard on a first date.

unless, of course, you are mina el houari who traveled to morocco to meet a dude she had met on the internet.  apparently, the date went well until she suddenly collapsed into a diabetic coma.  dude panicked and buried her in the backyard where she died of suffocation.

unless, of course, you are mina el houari who traveled to morocco to meet a dude she had corresponded with on the internet. apparently, the date went well until she suddenly collapsed into a diabetic coma. dude panicked, thought she was dead, and buried her in the backyard where she died of suffocation.  which pretty much ruined any chance of a second date.

what started as a tender, sleek hug became a sharp tooth trap.  and i realized i no longer did anything because i wanted to, because it was the right thing to do, because it was good for me.  and i didn’t do anything because i loved him, needed him, respected him, admired him.  nope, at some point, pretty much everything i did because i was scared of him.  and there was no aspect of my life that was under my control. i was living in the snake’s cage.  and i knew it wasn’t going to end well for miss mouse.

but one morning in january, i called a locksmith.  he had done this sort of thing before.  it took twenty minutes.  dude was locked out. i have never regretted doing it, but i have been scared of him.

changing the locks on a boyfriend is pretty crazy, but sometimes crazy is the only thing that works.

changing the locks on a boyfriend is pretty crazy, but sometimes crazy is the only thing that works.  this gal looks like she’s a little more fight while i’m generally more of a flight chick.

he’s not done with me. but i don’t have to make it easy for him to hurt me.  i sold my house, i’ve put my stuff in storage, i cleared out of the community i have lived in for the past quarter century.   i have no fixed address and i don’t intend on having one anytime soon.

i really have discovered that i don't need a lot of stuff.  this is what went into storage.

i really have discovered that i don’t need a lot of stuff. this is everything going into storage.

not that i’m all minimalist.  nosirree, i love my car.  i also love my boxing coach reygie puangco.  see if you can spot him in this video:

so we gotta ask. . . .

 

me, pongo, mister tibbs, and william clark are on the run.  someday we'll feel safe enough to settle but for now. . . it's the road.

me, pongo, mister tibbs, and william clark are on the road.

a few years ago, me and the toys hit the road to visit with facebook friends.  i videoed, posted blogs nearly every day.  i’ll be doing some of that now. . .

 

 


facebook, please give brad pitt my cell number!

not that i’m complaining.

so many people are worried about the disclosure that facebook, twitter, verizon, google–all the fun stuff we play with on the computer when we’re supposed to be productive–have all been giving the government our posts, tweets, messages so that the government can determined whether we’re losers at dating, whether we are team downton abbey or team kardashian and whether we really did call our mom and try to leave a message but something happened. . . .

and it’s pretty scary to think of obama reading my facebook posts and my cell texts. . . (p.s. note to youngerstud, i

facebook “bug” has been of more than six million users for the past year.

the social network began offering a “download your information” tool, which facebook now says has also been downloading other people’s information, including other user’s email addresses and phone numbers, since at least 2012. this information was shared to people who “had a connection” to the affected users.

my relationship to brad pitt is more spiritual than a mere acceptance of a friend request.  still, is that enough that facebook would pretty please send him my cell phone number?

my relationship to brad pitt is more spiritual than a mere acceptance of a friend request. still, is that enough that facebook would pretty please send him my cell phone number?

facebook says it has fixed the bug and is in the process of notifying the affected users via the same email addresses that the company has already freely given out.  however, i have noticed that nobody named brad has been calling me.  facebook, could you please use your loose lips talent for the forces of good instead of evil???


mrs. vander leyden’s glasses, (nearly) free literature and no english teachers

this past week, my friend and publisher oj dorson released the newest read–mrs. vander leyden’s glasses–on amazon.com.  you don’t have to have a kindle but it’s nice if you do.  you can read it on your phone, you can read it on a plane, you can read it in the bath.  but please, no reading while driving.

this read was published by oj dorson and the cover art created by tony tyner.  it is just 99 cents which is such a steal!

this read was published by oj dorson and the cover art created by tony tyner. it is just 99 cents which is pretty sweet and (nearly) free!

you can get this heartbreaking work of staggering genius (or just this story) at http://www.amazon.com/Mrs-Vander-Leydens-Glasses-ebook/dp/B00CQAQ6XC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369064472&sr=8-1&keywords=mrs.+vander+leyden%27s+glasses.

if you want an english teacher to demand that you do some derrida like deconstruction of the text, you have to order that separately.  i think you should just sit back and enjoy. . .

if you want an english teacher to demand that you do some derrida like deconstruction of the text, you have to order that separately.

deconstruction of text has been something i haven’t had to deal with in a while.  nor english teachers, not that there is anything wrong with english teachers.  generally, any love of reading didn’t come from an english class.  another thing i haven’t had to deal with in a bit is an editor wielding a rejection letter.

really, this sort of correspondence can kill even the best ambitions. shouldn't we do our best to avoid putting ourselves through this?

really, this sort of correspondence can kill even the best ambitions. shouldn’t we do our best to avoid putting ourselves through this?

 

instead, i just posted on facebook that i needed some help figuring out how to publish a story.  and oj appeared.  then i said i needed a cover.  and tony and oj put one together.  i can’t say i’m great at self-promoting. . .

in 2011 i had a new years resolution to meet all 325 of my facebook friends no matter where they might be.  then i wrote a book about it which has been published by tate publishing company.  i thought they had a publicity department and maybe they do.  or at least they have some gal who sends group email exhorting me (and presumably other tate writers) to get the word out.  the reclusive writer j.d. salinger wouldn't have survived this modern age.  on the other hand, he was said to have continued to write long after he had decided to not publish.  is it literature if you don't have an interaction between a reader and a writer?  uh-oh, that sounds like something an english teacher would  inquire about.

in 2011 i had a new years resolution to meet all 325 of my facebook friends no matter where they might be. then i wrote a book about it which has been published by tate publishing company. i thought they had a publicity department and maybe they do. or at least they have some gal who sends group email exhorting me (and presumably other tate writers) to get the word out. the reclusive writer j.d. salinger wouldn’t have survived this modern age. on the other hand, he was said to have continued to write long after he had decided to not publish. is it literature if you don’t have an interaction between a reader and a writer? uh-oh, that sounds like something an english teacher would inquire about.

 

 

 


will you be my beta reader?

 

 

 


imitation and yes i’m flattered

imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, the english cleric and writer charles caleb colton opined in his 1822 book “lacon or many things in few words addressed to those who think”…  and i think i’m really flattered.   in 2011, i endeavored to make good on a new year’s resolution to meet all my facebook friends.  there were 325 friends and sometimes, as is the case for so many, i would look at my facebook home page and some status update and i’d think “who is this person, why am i friends with them, and why should i like their link to a lmao video?”

i sallied forth and spent a year getting face time with every friend.  i traveled around the world because some of my friends have the misfortune to not live in my dear sweet hometown of winnetka.  i learned a lot of new skills–you should definitely invite me over if you have a champagne bottle you want opened with a saber sword or if you want boxing lessons.

ty morin has made a resolution quite similar to mine, hoping to meet nearly 800 of his facebook friends.

he is hoping to complete this project in three or four years.  he began his quest with a kickstarter grant campaign to raise travel and production money.  he’s even got a title for the documentary he will make about the project–friend request accepted.  he’s getting a lot of press and he intends to make this project speak to our interactions with social media.  he’s visited with 20 of his friends so far and figures the project will take him three or four years.

yo, marky z, you've brought together a lot of people with  facebook!

yo, marky z, you’ve brought together a lot of people with facebook!

i wish him every luck and want him to know that charles caleb colton is absolutely right:  i’m flattered!


a sword pulled like excalibur from my chest by my enemy ativan

discharged from roosevelt hospital. e.k.g., enzymes, blood sugar, platelets, liver function, pancreas, kidneys are all normal. it’s not a stroke, it’s not a heart attack, it’s not a collapsed lung, a wayward pancreas, a liver in revolt. why i should be in agony for thirty six hours, feeling like a sword has been plunged into my chest is a mystery medical science is not yet able to solve. but the solution? intravenous ativan and as it entered my veins i thought “noooo!” because i have worked so hard to be free of this drug and then “please, yes” as the sword–like excalibur by arthur–was pulled from my chest. . . i am without pain, sleepy, and just want to find my way home.

i woke up two days ago and couldn't shake this feeling that i had been the one to plunge the sword into my own heart..

i woke up two days ago and couldn’t shake this feeling that i had been the one to plunge this sword into my own heart.

 

i have worked very hard to defeat ativan and now i am told it is my master.  for a few days, a few months, the rest of my life, i don’t know.

i was first prescribed ativan six years ago while going through a painful separation from my then husband (who is now my ex-husband and one of my closest friends).

i was first prescribed ativan six years ago while going through a painful separation from my then husband (who is now my ex-husband and one of my closest friends).

 

a few months ago, i made a commitment to break up with ativan.  i saw him a little less, refused his blandishments, told him i didn’t want to go out anymore.  i thought he understood.  but he’s a seductive pill.  sweet talking, seemingly harmless, whispering sweet somethings in my ear.  and when he was combined with mr. pinot grigio, i was as pliable as the butter i forgot to put back in the refrigerator after i made the breakfast toast.

what next?  i don’t know.  i have to go down on my own to the airport, and find my way home.  and maybe there, i can shut the door and make the world and its swords and slings and arrows go away.


at long last a book and a very personal book signing

i have been partnering with tate publishing company in oklahoma and i’m happy to say that face2facebook will be hitting to store shelves in april. but you can have a sneak preview (and even order the book) at http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781625630810

it’s all about my year of adventure on facebook and if you buy the book, i have to come over to your house and autograph it.


poke!

this is right around the time of year when there’s a free treadmill at the gym, when the double stuffed oreos crowd out the kale in your grocery cart, when the pack of cigarettes behind the counter at 7-11 shrieks “buy me!”

the problem with most new year’s resolutions is that they’re hard.  and they’re based on the principle that we have to punish ourselves with a good dose of self-discipline and denial.  and we can only last two weeks before throwing in the towel.  january 14 is the day it all goes south.  well, at least it does for me.

in 2011, i had a new year’s resolution to meet all my facebook friends in person in one year.  that was 325 friends and a lot of travel.  a lot of interesting experiences.  a lot of new things.  13 countries.  52 weeks of packing my bags.  did i meet all 325?  no, but i got the asian f.  90%.

since then i have met new facebook friends.  and this past week i drove 900 miles in less than 36 hours so that i could meet jim hellman and connie conley in ironwood, michigan–just south of lake superior. i felt so 2011!

connie and jim have known each other forever.  well, it feels like forever.

would you believe that connie is younger than me???? i just want to know what moisturizer she uses.

in any event, the duo did not become romantically involved until years later.  and how did they connect?  on facebook, naturally!

connie "poked" jim on facebook and it led to true love and happiness.  maybe you should go to your facebook friends list and see if there's somebody you'd like to poke.

connie “poked” jim on facebook and it led to true love and happiness. maybe you should go to your facebook friends list and see if there’s somebody you’d like to poke.

a new year’s resolution won’t work unless it’s fun.  and i had fun with my two new friends!  they are the 332 and 333rd facebook friends i have met.


apple bacon maple

just a facebook friend.  how many of your friends are “just” a facebook friend?  with facebook, linkedin, myspace, twitter we can have friends from all over the world.  friends we never meet in real life.  friends with whom our interactions occur while we’re in our pajamas in front of our laptop or squinting at the smartphone or playing online scrabble (okay, busted on that last one!).  we think we know someone but we only know their atavar.  we can know them deeply with long heartfelt messages but we really don’t know what they’d be like on a road trip, in an emergency, for the long haul.

it’s especially easy to rely on these friendship when the rest of the world seems chaotic, hostile, and just plain scary.  i think a lot of anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia and depressions have to do with how fast and furious our interactions with the real world are.

face to facebook (f2fb) friend number #331 lesley riley did me the greatest favor of coming all the way from california to meet me!  we had a wonderful afternoon together and i encourage any facebook friends to say "hey i'd like to come see you on your own turf" otherwise i show up on their turf!

face to facebook (f2fb) friend number #331 lesley riley did me the greatest favor of coming all the way from california to meet me! we had a wonderful afternoon together and i encourage any facebook friends to say “hey i’d like to come see you on your own turf” otherwise i show up on their turf!

i have  been isolated for the past two months and i knew that i really needed to change.  i was lucky enough to receive an invitation from facebook friends jim hellman and connie conley to visit them in bresmere, michigan—right near lake superior.  connie and jim have been my facebook friends for roughly a year and a half.  i have never met them before but they invited me.  and i am never one to pass up an invitation to visit a facebook friend!

tuesday was sunny and bright.   out the door of the bat girl cave by eight o’clock.  according to mapquest, it would be a seven hour drive, which means in arlynn driving time nine hours at least.

i find that every new geography means a new food.  in this case, something that sounded somewhat disgusting but damn, i ate two of them:

i ended up at the americinn of ironwood michigan and was presented with a slight problem:  i had booked my hotel room for monday evening–the day i was online.  i didn’t read my reservation confirmation.  maybe that would have been a good idea.  luckily, i have my own personal hotel clerk.


so you say you want a resolution. . .

i am so in awe of my friends.  in 2011 i made and delivered — more or less — on a resolution to meet and spend face to face time with my 325 facebook friends.  it was harder than i anticipated and way more rewarding than i expected.  in 2012 i made and sort of delivered on meeting new facebook friends.

my facebook friend lesley riley is someone i wasn't blessed to have as my friend in 2011.  she came to the bat girl cave from her home in california in order to say "hey, you're not just a facebook friend!"  i admire her a lot and think she's adorable!

my facebook friend lesley riley is someone i wasn’t blessed to have as my friend in 2011. she came to the bat girl cave from her home in california in order to say “hey, you’re not just a facebook friend!” i admire her a lot and think she’s adorable!

so it’s getting to be that time again.  i think all of us start the year with optimistic plans to lose weight, quit drinking, give up smoking, be more organized.  what’s your new years resolution?

 

 


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 571 other followers