Monthly Archives: January 2011

January 18, 2011

face to facebook teammates

By arlynnpresser

nothing worth doing does not at first appear to be impossible and meeting 332 people in one year seems impossible.  unless i could somehow persuade all of them to meet me at mirani’s for lunch on successive days.  otherwise, i have to travel to see them!  and today paige grant (face to facebook friend number 15) volunteered to do some of the traveling for me.  particularly the england-italy-istanbul-mumbai junket.

paige is a friend of eastman’s and is an adventuress–i am looking to her for courage and perserverence.  we aren’t sure why we’re friends on facebook.  she’s taking a gap year and most of her friends are from new trier high school.  we related over common facebook experiences.  this was filmed by lori who is joining the team as well:

nothing happens without a team.  i’m starting to see a team come together.

which reminds me. . . i met with peter lind, face to facebook friend 16.  he was in the winnetka northfield rotary club with me but within a few days of katrina, he disappeared.  he was charged with the task of reopening the hospitals of new orleans and he left his family to do that task.  he didn’t return for two and a half years.  his wife, oh so adorable, once saw me in the carpool line at new trier.  i was crying.  i figure you cry in your car nobody can hear you.  i was wrong.  she got out of her car, walked over to mine, banged on the driver’s side window and demanded to give me a hug.  peter is so humble that he wouldn’t let me take his picture, much less video him.  but he told me many stories about what new orleans was like just after the hurricane blew through town.  he had these thoughts about our own emergency preparedness:

1.  always have in your house three days of water and food.

2.  in your car, twenty four hours of food and water (the food probably should be in the form of dried fruit, nuts, slim jims) and a blanket.

i would add to that a proviso that if you can’t muster up those provisions, just stockpile champagne, firewood, cigarettes, and cocktail napkins.  a black market will develop.

peter and his wife live across town but he is the designated community emergency response training dude for his block.  in an emergency, he has said i’m an honorary member of his block.  yippee!!! i’m gonna be okay!!

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January 17, 2011

it had to happen–i am defriended!

By arlynnpresser

poor, poor, pitiful me!  i have been defriended and facebook don’t make it easy to figure out who defriends you.  it’s like they’re a teenaged girl from the cool clique who is trying to spare your feelings but isn’t really doing such a good job.  i checked the facebook friend who had been with my husband when we first separated–no, she’s still my facebook friend.  ditto the guy i wouldn’t date whose posts are so fun and vulgar that i would despair if they didn’t pop up every once in a while–he’s still my friend.  so is that guy i went out with in college and the rapper inda loop.  and alex beh who used to babysit my kid and now dates jennifer love hewitt.   i don’t blame anybody for defriending me–i might defriend myself given a chance.

but before i defriend myself–victory!  i made it back to my cozy home and if i can do a small trip i can do every trip required by the face to facebook new years’ resolution!  i can meet every one of my remaining 331 facebook friends before december 31, 2011.  this is all said in hubris.

the trip began with kankakee where i saw heather for lunch at her job at target.  she’s not always going to work there–in fact, i think she’s “work at a museum” material.  i can’t wait to watch that develop!  then onto champaign-urbana to see john and alice lafond!  they were such fine hosts and the next morning i woke quite refreshed and ready for adventure.

and i got it!  i was lost several times while trying to find the home of andrew pearce.  andrew is a transplanted brit who worked in the railway industry for twenty years.  his passions are photography and trains so this is the result of our visit:

and p.s. the train engine was running.  my butt got really cold.  andrew makes pickled eggs and declined to give me the recipe but i smelled it and decided it could be used as a diet aid as well.  in exchange for those eggs, he gets free beer for life from the local brewery.  i’d like that deal.

then a sweeping tour of bloomington and i am having dinner with my stepdaughter elisabeth and her husband steve.  elisabeth was seven when i married her father.  her brother was eleven.  i was pregnant with joseph.  i was a wretched stepmom.  i never beat her or locked her up in the basement, but i wasn’t too keen on making school lunches five days in a row and i never celebrated her successes as much as i should have.  nonetheless, she has forgiven me.  partly that’s because of grace–being a new mom really makes one appreciate the stresses of your own mom (or stepmom) much better.  here’s some important information on how to make fishnet stocking if you’re a princess and you have to dress in rugged conditions.

i spent the night at the indiana union and got a call from chris redmond, joseph’s childhood friend.  i remember him as a loud, hyperactive, mischievous boy.  the guy who showed up the next morning to work out was a tall, gentlemanly man.  his parents have done all right by him.  he has agreed to be my necessary bodyguard for the asian leg of the face to facebook new years resolution tour and if anybody wants to apply for any other legs of the trip, sign up now!  here, he demonstrates how to train to be a bodyguard:

one thing i’ve learned is that i know some friends who have purpose and meaning in their lives, whether their purpose is trains, raising grace, Jesus Christ, or even just knowing they will have a purpose one day. i hope to find my purpose.  i hope to find my way.  with my face to facebook friends, i am learning. 331 friends, 319 to go!

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January 16, 2011

a face to facebook puzzle

By arlynnpresser

when i finally made it to andrew pearce’s house, i was so glad i recognized him.  i had only seen him once–as the bartender of the marriot in bloomington where i stayed just once.  but he smiles like nobody’s business and that’s how you know it’s andrew.  he invited me in for a cup of tea to brace ourselves for the afternoon’s business–a photo shoot at a trainyard.  in his kitchen i found this. . .

 

is andrew pearce breeding snakes?i was a little creeped out, but this is a project of adventure.  of learning new things and this was definitely something new.  if you know what it is, leave a comment.

later today, i will post the pictures from the tracks, a video of me drawing fishnets on the cutest gal in all of bloomington indiana and then . . . one more mystery facebook friend experience!

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January 14, 2011

face to facebook modest victory!

By arlynnpresser

there was enough drama that i thought i wouldn’t get out the door, but i own the first leg of the f2fb short trip!  i drove down to the target superstore in bourbounnais, illinois.  heather tyler is my facebook friend–she’s the wife of eric who is friends with john lafond.  heather is 38, adorable, and when she smiles you just can’t have a bad day!  we had lunch and shopped for a present for the princessa of champaign-urbana.

heather doesn’t always want to work at a target store although she’s great at what she does-and she spends a lot of time when she’s not at working playing on facebook:  mafia wars, farmville, etc.  she wants to do something in art history.  i thought maybe she could contact the head of nearby kankakee’s historical society and see if she could work in their museum as a volunteer just to get her feet wet.  heather and i both struggle with internal monologues that are sometimes rather dire.

i nearly cried, right there in the middle of the target food court, because the heather internal voice is strikingly like my own:  you’re a failure, you’re incompetent, you drink too much, you haven’t done anything with your life, you’re fat, you’re not all that.  in fact, i believe that heather and i might actually be hearing from the same entity.  we agreed we have to say “SHUT UP!”

here’s a picture of her just after we ate lunch.

i’m very lucky to have heather for a facebook friend and i’m glad we got to see each other.  unfortunately, her husband eric was at the food pantry and missed me as i sailed off for champaign urbana.  i’ll get to see heather later because i’ll be coming back to kankakee to see eric!

next, it was on to champaign urbana to see the princessa colleen who curtsied when she saw me because she recognizes a fellow princessa!  colleen is a great favorite with the paparazzi and so she knows how to take a good picture.  here’s one that was taken by the star magazine:

the princessa’s parents are john and alice lafond.  john and i went to school together and when i left the patricks when i was a young teen, he hid me in the lafond family garage.  the lafonds are approaching their ten year anniversary.  congratulations to a wonderful royal couple!!!

john and i play scrabble on facebook.  he beats me nearly every time.  and jonathan boyd, his friend, DOES beat me every time.  John also plays Mafia Wars, Farmville, and Sorority Sisters.  I asked “why Sororority Sisters”?   and he said it’s basically the same thing as Mafia Wars just with prettier dresses.  facebook is a hobby.

tomorrow it’s onward to indiana!  i’m doing this!  i’m really doing this!!!  i have 332 friends, including one cat and a guy who’s been dead for over a century–sorry mike i added a few friends, but i have visited with nine of them this year.  this is right around the time that most people give up on a new years resolution–but i had that moment last night.

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January 14, 2011

disaster!!!! and then. . .

By arlynnpresser

i was getting ready for seeing facebook friend janet sussman.  and for the trip.  i thought i was good at packing a bag.  chargers,  black t-shirt, another black t-shirt.  i did spend some time flapping my wings worrying about getting a two day trip in the chiaruggi bag. .  .  and then i freaked!!

i don’t know janet very well.  we have mutual friends who are in theater.  she’s in “chorus line” in march and i hope she comments on this post to tell us all about how to buy tickets!  but this was an emergency-and i started the cancellation calls. . . i am such a damn failure.

so i called janet and said i have lost my wallet and i’m doomed.  can’t do the ahem, provocative dance class that i promised to attend. . .  and this gal showed up with chocolate, strawberries, a bottle of wine and great attitude.

here is the result of fifteen minutes of getting the janet sussman incredible love:

i admire her.  i’m glad she’s my friend. i always think that being by myself is going to be  the best thing when i’m in a bad mood.  maybe being with a friend is better.  the evening ended with facebook friend charlie seymour coming over and the two of them sang show tunes at the piano.  charlie’s dog cuddled up with me on the couch.   i felt like i was at a going away party hosted by my face to facebook friend #8!

p.s. i’m an idiot is acknowledged.  i wonder if there’s a freudian aspect–like i wanted to stay home. . . ?

p.p.s. i had been at a lunch earlier in the day with stephen–my ex–and chris nelson, the director of parent relations at oberlin.  stephen had been kind enough to drive me back home.  i had dropped the wallet in the car.  stephen was kind enough to drive up from the city and drop off the wallet around midnight.

thank you stephen!  thank you janet!  and thank you charlie and eddie!

this morning, i’m off adventuring!

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January 13, 2011

i meet a real writer–libby fischer hellmann

By arlynnpresser

i used to write novels.  romance novels specifically, and most of them are under the name vivian leiber.  but i can’t tell you the number of times that people have used the words “real writer” with me.  as in “oh, you write romances?  i thought you were a real writer”  or “when are you going to be a real writer?”  and then there was the lady who told me that i wasn’t a real writer but she was because she was taking journaling classes at the university of iowa.   i would like to believe we’re all real writers because whether it’s a thank you note to grandma for those wool socks or a twenty volume history of the peloponnesian wars, we’re putting ourselves out there.

BUT i was having dinner with libby fischer hellman (f2fb#7)… and she’s a REAL writer.  or at least what i think of as a real writer.  i knew her only slightly because her daughter went to school with my older son.  and i harbored an odd feeling towards her.  i’m not sure if it was envy or admiration–and those two emotions might just be the same thing.

she writes mystery novels and when i met her for dinner, i hoped she was going to tell me how to write a mystery.  in other words, how to be a real writer.  and i also wanted her to tell me how to get elmore leonard, our mutual facebook friend, to pay attention when i ask him to meet me.

instead, i was surprised to find out that she gets that “real writer” stuff all the time too.  and she’s a very very cool chick and when we parted i realized i still had that envy/admiration thing going but it wasn’t because she’s a “real” writer–it’s because she’s a cool chick!

p.s. tomorrow–stripper lessons and packing for the first trip–maybe chris redmond will teach me basketball, the princesses of urbana and bloomington will host me, i’ll learn about railroads from a facebook friend i’ve only met once in my life.

p.p.s. visit libby’s website at libbyhellmann.com and tell her i sent you!

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January 12, 2011

lock myself in the basement day

By arlynnpresser

i spent most of the day in bed today, texting “migraine” when anybody called.  but really, just being scared.  i had a “lock myself in the basement” day.

i was born in 1960 to aleta and justin leiber.  they lived in chicago with justin’s parents fritz and jonquil leiber.  here’s the cheesecake picture (it was given to me by justin when i met him when i was twenty five)

at some point, justin and aleta put me up for adoption through the children’s home and aid society of chicago.  i went to the patrick family of western springs, illinois.  here’s a picture of me after i had been adopted–it was the day i was baptised into the patrick’s methodist faith which was important to them.  i’m the one on the left.

very soon after this picture was taken, mrs. patrick had some kind of reaction to the world and to me.  it must have been overwhelming to be a new mom to a kid who wanted to go back to wherever she came from.  mrs. patrick was frantic about keeping order.  my most common transgression was to steal candy from mr. patrick’s desk or cookies from the treat drawer in the kitchen.

she would lock me in the basement.

i might sentenced to a day.  morning until bedtime.  if longer than a day, i would, upon waking, go back to the basement.  oddly, she always let me take a book with me.

sometimes she thought the basement wasn’t punishment enough, because i was so stubborn i wouldn’t cry, and so she would make me take off all my clothes or she would mark out parts of basement where i could sit and other parts where i couldn’t.  but if i had a book, i didn’t care where i was.   sure, i did other things than read.  i devised a series of number games played on my fingers.  i can, if we meet, show you those games.  kind of like solitaire but no cards.  almost everything i know comes from the world book encyclopedia for young adults, volumes 1-20, which the patricks owned and i kick butt on the caribou coffee trivia question every day because of that series.  i would take one volume each day into the basement.

the punishments the world gives us make us stronger, but only stronger at taking that particular punishment.  i’m great at being locked up but i want to be good at being unleashed.  i want to go out into the world this year to meet every friend, to charge across streets in a city i’ve never been, to get lost on a highway, to find out somebody’s passion for their lives*, to have the whole horizon out in front of me, to not know what’s going to happen next, to accept that the world is way more chaotic than the first two steps of the basement stairewell where nothing changes and the only sound is the furnace firing up and the comforting world is printed on a page.

tomorrow i pack for the first leg of the journey.  i am commuting my own sentence.  if you’re one of my facebook friends, help me do this.

*i mean, jeez, how much better can it get than chris castino’s passion for voluntary mutism?  and i haven’t even uploaded facebook friend peter lind’s account of reopening hospitals in new orleans after katrina.

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January 11, 2011

selective mutism: a f2fb meeting number 6

By arlynnpresser

on friday, i leave to visit the princess of champaign and the princess of bloomington.  i have a trip planned for tallahassee and another for new york before i get to st. petersburg on the tenth of march.  but first. . .

i sat at mirani’s with an idea that i knew who i was meeting:  chris castino.  i was positive that my older  son joseph went to middle school with her son, that she was mutual friends with tiffanie sarineen and that she had dark hair.  the restaurant was closed but the owners kaven and madelaine didn’t mind me staying and christopher the waiter had brought me a stella while i waited.  then a woman entered the restaurant, pulled back the hood from her face, and . . . i had no idea who she was.  she was definitely chris castino, it’s just i hadn’t seen her in so long that i had gotten her confused with someone else.  although i had read and responded with sympathy to the facebook posts that her family suffered two deaths over the christmas holiday season.

it was a bit of an awkward lunch until i realized that one of her daughters had been friends with joseph.  ah, now i know where i know her from. . . but while i might know a little about her daughter i knew nothing about chris.  i asked her what she was doing these days.  her face glowed and she said “selective  mutism”.  uh, okay, but what the heck is that?

her daughter had a friend in kindergarten at Northfield’s Middlefork School.  The girl did not speak at school, instead only talking at home. . . .and with chris–in soft whispers up against chris’ ear–whenever the two girls had playdates.  the girls drifted apart as they were assigned to different classrooms in first, second and third grade. but when they were in fourth grade, chris discovered that the girl still was not speaking.  her heart went out to her and, with the blessings of the parents and of the northfield school superintendent, chris went to lunch every day at the school and became a verbal  intermediary, eating at the lunch table with the fourth grade girls.  but let chris tell you about it. . .

sometimes chris neglected her own daughters when she was devoting more and more time to being this girl’s verbal intermediary and advocate.  but the castino daughters were very very supportive and today the girl doesn’t need chris as a verbal intermediary but she still needs the love and friendship of this great mom.  i left lunch realizing that i have some facebook friends out there who are doing great things–and i have to do a better job of keeping up with them so i can recognize them when i see them!

if you’d like to learn more about the subject, go to smartcenter@selectivemutismcenter.org

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January 10, 2011

face to facebook resolution: the learning curve

By arlynnpresser

i’m still not quite sure what this project is, but i think it’s a diary.  an interactive diary because everybody who participates in this ends up being in the diary and it’s an open diary (no lock with a precious key) because everybody gets to see it.  this might be too a guest book although that makes it sound a little like i’m a hotel.

and i’m not a hotel.  i’m a gal who wants to meet all my facebook friends, even the ones i have never met.  maybe particularly those friends.  last week, i did something new–

and then i returned to not quite what i was when i got started.  which is sort of how i assume this project will turn out.  by the way, my usual new years resolutions are to lose weight, stop drinking, get organized and be nicer to mr. radnor.  this past week i accomplished the last of those . . . briefly.

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January 8, 2011

face to facebook stats 3.0–missing persons

By arlynnpresser

this year, i will visit 327 facebook friends.  i will visit them in their home countries of italy, india, korea, burkina faso, canada, taiwan, mexico, nicaragua, russia, the united arab emirates, and england.  i will visit them in states as far west as hawaii, north to alaska, east to providence rhode island.

i’m missing some friends and while i’ve already sent messages to them,  if you know anything about where these friends are, please tell me.  aawagdy hakim, azanthiel moon, claudia close, janet mccauley, jeffrey jon smith, karl thelen, kristan schmidt, lisa menzel, liza roche, lori ray, lynn nguyen, mark bjerknes, rodger gerberding, samuel scruggs, and tamme perdue.

how often does this happen?  you meet a neighbor or a friend of a friend at a party and a day or two later you have a facebook request?  most of the times, when this happens, i click confirm and that’s sort of the last i ever hear of the person, except in news feeds about what they ate for dinner and links to articles in the wall street journal online edition.

i met kenny at a holiday party and we exchanged business cards.  and i got a facebook request from him soon after.  when i realized i didn’t have the hostess’ email address to send her a thank you note, i used facebook to email him and get her address.  when he heard about this face to facebook project, he stopped by to say hi before i hit the road.  i asked him to do a short video about pesticides because he is a sales representative for black flag pesticides.

but we sat down to chat and then three hours went by.  it was three hours unimpeded (nor aided) by the distractions of a menu, waiters, other people, atmosphere, calls, emails or texts.  we gossiped a bit, to be fair, but i learned about a man who has weathered some personal turmoil in a courageous fashion.

kenny says that friendship, whever it is found–on facebook, in the workplace, at a party–is like a box you choose to open.  i think i have to get another recycling bin because i’m going to have a lot of boxes when i open up all these friendships.  here’s face to facebook friend #5:

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