Monthly Archives: June 2013

June 23, 2013

facebook, please give brad pitt my cell number!

By arlynnpresser

not that i’m complaining.

so many people are worried about the disclosure that facebook, twitter, verizon, google–all the fun stuff we play with on the computer when we’re supposed to be productive–have all been giving the government our posts, tweets, messages so that the government can determined whether we’re losers at dating, whether we are team downton abbey or team kardashian and whether we really did call our mom and try to leave a message but something happened. . . .

and it’s pretty scary to think of obama reading my facebook posts and my cell texts. . . (p.s. note to youngerstud, i

facebook “bug” has been of more than six million users for the past year.

the social network began offering a “download your information” tool, which facebook now says has also been downloading other people’s information, including other user’s email addresses and phone numbers, since at least 2012. this information was shared to people who “had a connection” to the affected users.

my relationship to brad pitt is more spiritual than a mere acceptance of a friend request. still, is that enough that facebook would pretty please send him my cell phone number?

my relationship to brad pitt is more spiritual than a mere acceptance of a friend request. still, is that enough that facebook would pretty please send him my cell phone number?

facebook says it has fixed the bug and is in the process of notifying the affected users via the same email addresses that the company has already freely given out.  however, i have noticed that nobody named brad has been calling me.  facebook, could you please use your loose lips talent for the forces of good instead of evil???

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June 17, 2013

cherries in the snow

By arlynnpresser

in the dark ages of publishing, which is to say twenty years ago when i sold my first book, an author had to endure rejection. . .and more rejection.  one’s manuscript went to a publisher, a rejection was issued, and the writer had a choice of a) sending said manuscript to another publisher or b) slitting one’s wrists.

really, this sort of correspondence can kill a writer's dreams but this is exactly the sort of stuff one endured. again. and again. and again.

really, this sort of correspondence can kill a writer’s dreams but this is exactly the sort of stuff one endured. again. and again. and again.

 

these days, there’s self-publishing.  or what was once called “vanity” publishing.  it’s not that the self-publishing author is vain.  it’s that the self-publishing author is sick and tired of rejection.

i haven’t actually self-published my latest piece but that’s only because i have a very good friend oj dorson who knows how to upload or download or whatever it is that makes a story show up on the shelves, er, pages of amazon.com.  i also have a friend tony tyner who is killer at making cover art.

so i hope you go download this and read it and tell me what you think! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DEQQZTW

so i hope you go download this and read it and tell me what you think!  it’s a heartwarming story about a funeral home, an ill-advised one night stand, and unrequited love.

 

so if you click here http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DEQQZTW and download it.  you don’t even have to have a kindle to do this!  and if you have stories you want to make available to others, you can do it too.  by yourself or with a friend like oj.

richard brautigan was a fabulous american poet and novelist who believed that there should be public libraries in which were housed one book by every citizen of the land. this democratization of literature is exactly the sort of thing that self-publishing on the internet allows for!

richard brautigan was a fabulous american poet and novelist who believed that there should be public libraries in which were housed one book by every citizen of the land. this democratization of literature is exactly the sort of thing that self-publishing on the internet allows for!

 

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June 12, 2013

narcissism and me

By arlynnpresser

are you shallow and insecure?  egocentric?  imbued with a false sense of your importance and popularity?  maybe even, well let’s be fair, a jerk?  okay, the clinic term is narcissist and it’s a disease that is so tragic and profound that it doesn’t even have a celebrity spokesperson.

narcissus was a mythological greek dude who fell in love with his reflection in a lake and died because he just couldn't tear himself away from the beautiful sight. narcissism is a catch all psychological term for anybody who thinks to highly of themselves or any one of your exes.

narcissus was a mythological greek dude who fell in love with his reflection in a lake and died because he just couldn’t tear himself away from the beautiful sight. narcissism is a catch all psychological term for anybody who thinks to highly of themselves.  narcissism also refers to the personality disorder of any one of your exes.

the university of michigan has released a study that concludes that social media sites like twitter and facebook draw in narcissists who want to bolster their fragile egos, control everybody’s great opinion of them, and post about what they are having for dinner.  study director elliot panek says that young narcissists opt for twitter while middle aged narcissists (a.k.a. jerks) use facebook.  

“young people overvaluate the importance of their opinion,” he says.  “through twitter, they’re trying to broaden their social circles and broadcast their views about a wide range of topics and issues.”

mr panek, there's ovulate, there's overvalue, there's evaluate. unfortunately, there is no :"overvaluate" unless, of course, you have overvalued your . . . oh, never mind.

mr panek, there’s ovulate, there’s overvalue, there’s evaluate. unfortunately, there is no :”overvaluate” unless, of course, you have overvalued your . . . oh, never mind.

 

middle aged narcissists, according to this study, choose facebook.  slow, stately facebook.

“it’s about curating your own image, how you are seen, and also checking on how others respond to this image,” said panek. “middle-aged adults usually have already formed their social selves and they use social media to gain approval from those who are already in their social circles.”

okay, well, glad we cleared all this up for everybody.  young narcissists and middle aged narcissists . . . we gotta ask. . .

 

me?  i’m on facebook, i’m middle aged, i’m willing to entertain all diagnoses.

just in case you’re curious–as near as i can figure out elliot panek is a linkedin social media user.  wonder what that means?

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June 9, 2013

shameless selfie fierce?

By arlynnpresser

facebook, instagram, twitter, we call it social media but really it’s selfie media.  you post about what you had for dinner, you share the link to your favorite song, you opine.

the former nickelodeon actress and erstwhile fashion designer amanda bynes has been posting "selfies" -- pictures of one's self that often include one's hand holding the camera or phone. amanda has been tracking her path of selfdestruction with twitter posts including increasingly bizarre selfies. she was recently evicted from her apartment in new york and arrested on drug charges. there is some indication she suffers from schizophrenia.

the former nickelodeon actress and erstwhile fashion designer amanda bynes has been posting “selfies” — pictures of one’s self that often include one’s hand holding the camera or phone. amanda has been tracking her path of self-destruction with twitter posts including increasingly bizarre selfies. she was recently evicted from her apartment in new york and arrested on drug charges. there is some indication she suffers from schizophrenia.

this sharing sounds fierce, brave, and just an extension of being open and honest.  we share ourselves and, you know what?, this week we’ve been shaken to the core by disclosures that the obama administration is using over fifty companies to harvest information about everything we communicate.  if you have a verizon account, for instance, every message, every text, every phone call is potentially in play.  it’s gotta be pretty boring for government agents to sort through “whaddup?” and “r u around?” and “c u l8r!”

edward snowden, a 29 year old cia consultant, fled to hong kong with documents that outline the extent of our government's trampling of our privacy. as he says "I'm willing to sacrifice all of that because I can't in good conscience allow the US government to destroy privacy, internet freedom and basic liberties for people around the world with this massive surveillance machine they're secretly building." he is quite aware that he has forfeited his freedom, the option to ever return home and quite possibly his life.

edward snowden, a 29 year old cia consultant, fled to hong kong with documents that outline the extent of our government’s trampling of our privacy. as he says “I’m willing to sacrifice all of that because I can’t in good conscience allow the US government to destroy privacy, internet freedom and basic liberties for people around the world with this massive surveillance machine they’re secretly building.” he is quite aware that he has forfeited his freedom, the option to ever return home and quite possibly his life.

 

so while snowden does his best to highlight how the government is peeking at stuff that might be considered private, the amanda bynes of the world are tweeting and posting and updating us on all sorts of things. . . .

a lot of amanda's tweets are about ugliness. as in courtney love is ugly, jenny mccarthy is ugly, and that rhianna was beat up by chris brown because she is ugly. weird, because amanda was really a very beautiful girl before she started posting and tweeting her transformation. i'm glad she doesn't know me because i'm sure she would tweet that i'm ugly too.

a lot of amanda’s tweets are about ugliness. as in courtney love is ugly, jenny mccarthy is ugly, and that rhianna was beat up by chris brown because she is ugly. weird, because amanda was really a very beautiful girl before she started posting and tweeting her transformation. i’m glad she doesn’t know me because i’m sure she would tweet that i’m ugly too.

you can’t permanent erase this stuff and it is just so easy to issue the usual “don’t post stuff that you wouldn’t want an employer to see” or “everything on the internet is forever”. . . i’m sorta wondering about all those selfies i’ve posted on facebook.  i might be pissed off the government can spy on me but what do i expect?  i’ve made it incredibly easy for them.

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