my new years resolution is to have “face time” with every facebook friend i have. including the facebook friends i’ve met only once. including the facebook friends i play scrabble with online and have never had an expectation of meeting. including the facebook friends i accepted friendship requests from because i wanted to be polite and i have no idea who they are. including the facebook friend who is my dad. … .
my father and mother put me up for adoption when i was three years old. the children’s home and aid society of chicago placed me with the patrick family. that didn’t work out very well and i left that family for some foster homes before i simply ended up dropping out of high school and starting at the first college that would accept me without a diploma. i tracked down my father when i was twenty five. he lives in tallahassee with his wife barbara. i have a half sister casey. she was born just a few months before i met barbara and justin. she is now an actress in new york.
during january i did a great job with my resolution–staying on target, knowing that there will be some trips overseas that will eat up a lot of time, like mumbai, seoul, taipei, italy. but i have looked forward to it all because i’m fifty years old and my kids are out of the house and this might be the last time i’m free to do this.
but this is february, when most people give up on their resolutions. i came to tallahassee thinking i would see justin (face to facebook friend #30) and casey (#31) is to join us. i was going to rent a car and meet up with dale morgan, the smart philosophy student i went to college with and have never seen since graduation. with jonathan boyd, whom i have never met but play online scrabble with. with sammie scruggs, who saw my picture and sent a request and i said yes, thinking “uh, who are you?” and with sarah roberts who sang at a wedding and we had a really nice conversation and we promised to keep in touch and we friended each other and then. .. . ignored each other. i have had to cancel all these trips because my father is not in a position that i can leave him on his own. barbara is out of town. casey is just getting into town.
and i have gained five pounds. so i can’t even say that i’m doing a good job with the new years eve resolutions i’ve made before.
was this a stupid idea? to think i could meet over three hundred friends in the course of a year? or do all things worth doing have to appear to be impossible? i have worn a bracelet most of my adult life. it is inscribed with the legson kayira motto “i will try”. i have to decide whether i will now.