Monthly Archives: February 2011

February 10, 2011

damn, f2fb #33 friend writes out my tramp stamp!

By arlynnpresser

mike castagna (face to facebook friend #3) says about a particular, ahem, mutual lady friend that a new species would have to be developed in the event that they were the only two humans left because he would never do it with her.  there are a few gentlemen who make me think that the chimpanzees would have to take over the world if we were the only two humans left after skynet’s forces crush john connor’s resistance. . . i’m sure there’s a few guys that look at me and think “could donkeys create a bicameral government or is it going to have to be dolphins?”

my friend robbie thapa says that if he ever decides to make love to a woman, it’s gotta be me, gwen stefani or lady gaga.  in the meantime, he’s making a vow that he won’t be having any serious relationships for five years.  he’s devoting himself to his career, to having fun, to being about himself.   he’s a very happy dude.  i love seeing that!

nepal is a place i think i’d like to go to if i were completely brave.  he showed me pictures that make me think it’s the most beautiful place on earth.

he also talked about the very tragic story of crown prince dipendra killing his father, mother and seven other members of his family in 2001.   dipendra was upset that he was not allowed to marry the woman he loved.  the woman he loved, devyani rana, was considered too common.   one of robbie’s relatives was the ambassador to india who was charged with the painful task of questioning devyani when she fled to india after the massacre.  devyani married a member of a royal indian family.

robbie has been in the united states as a resident since he was nineteen and he works as an interior designer.   he showed me what i’m going to get as my tramp stamp although i’ve always been a little nervous about this tattoo thing. .. i’ve always thought my first tattoo would be the longitude and latitude of where joseph and eastman were born. .. just like one of angelina’s tats.

so i have to ask you. .. .

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February 9, 2011

face to facebook safely home!

By arlynnpresser

i am home safe!!!!  i nearly kissed the ground when i reached chicago but there was a fair chance that my mouth would end up frozen and, just like the referee in the 1967 championship game between the packers and the cowboys, i’d rip my lip apart trying to get back up.

today i’m learning conversational nepalese from my friend robbie thapa.  and i’m reflecting on the face to facebook friends trip to tallahassee.  here is one minute out of a forty five minute talk that i taped of justin, my father.   i think it’s very poignant.  it will be what i try to remember instead of the chaotic last ten minutes when he declared me to be a super conman.

i am so grateful to be home.

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February 8, 2011

escape from stalag talahassee

By arlynnpresser

this morning  woke up with the plan that i would pack and slip out of the guest room.  unfortunately, barbara has left for work.  justin is drinking a beer to calm himself down and he has been talking for the last hour and a half.  i’m waiting for his research assistant to pick him up.  justin really liked the computer camera and talked for forty five minutes but i don’t think you want to see the whole thing and i can’t figure out how to download a one minute clip that is really quite poignant.

 

i am so close to escape. . . . and i’m not scared of airplanes.  they get you the hell out of situations.

p.s. i was making my escape because he was getting a bit hostile, and in fact, the sweetest thing then happened:  the building manager ursula said “hey, just let me drive you to the airport” when i asked her how to get a cab.  she went to get her car.  justin came down to the lobby, in full fury.  he declared that he had finally figured out what i am–a superconman and that he has become a superconman detector.  he then started trying to shove me against the wall.  ursula showed up in her car and we went outside.  he tried to get her to agree to help him against this superconman.  she was completely baffled but hustled me into the car.  we left him shaking his fist at us.  it was very very sweet for her to drive me to the airport.  sometimes the kindness of strangers is very very very important.  thank you ursula!!!  now i just have four hours of reading the national enquirer, ok, life and style, people and the globe before i can get on a plane.  . . . . .

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February 7, 2011

what fresh hell?

By arlynnpresser

travel is flexibility.  life is flexibility.  strength only comes with flexibility.  these are lessons i need to give myself to.

i didn’t have much luck at the ticket counter of us airways in tallahassee.  in fact, there was only one dude behind the counter and he said “you gotta call the airlines, i don’t handle this stuff” and wasn’t the slightest bit interested in my quivering lip and my tale of family emergencies.

then i called while reggie said “hey, you gotta be flexible.  i spent my twenty first birthday stuck in an airport”

reggie was right–got a us airways rep on the line and you would have thought i was asking to have us airways provide me with a parade of elephants to escort me back to chicago.  i came back to the apartment in defeat.  but also, i came back because i had accidentally left with the apartment spare key.

barbara left to take casey to the airport around twelve thirty and from there, barbara went to her office.  i am here with justin until barbara’s expected return at seven thirty.  he has been on the phone for the past hour with his research assistant.  he is explaining to him as i write that i am an example of what plato meant when he said “if you want to catch a thief you have to use a thief”. . . i will not correct him that it is calimachus who said “being a thief myself i recognize the tracks of a thief” which is really what he wants to say.

tomorrow i will aim to get back to chicago.  i am seeing facebook friend robbie thapa on wednesday afternoon, suzanne timble on thursday and on friday i travel to springfield to see melissa coulter and steve rahn.  then i return to indianapolis on sunday to see jay schwandt.  i am learning so much about packing too–go lite!

and i’m also figuring out that i have some real good friends.  even the ones i don’t see that much!  i had only seen reggie once before in person–hey, when somebody is deployed to baghdad it’s not like you get to take them to lunch and shopping all that often!

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February 7, 2011

f2fb learning a new trick

By arlynnpresser

captain reggie and i headed for the airport.  he had a flight to savannah.  i had a flight to chicago via charlotte but it’s for tuesday.  i can’t get the w hotel to give me an extension on either reggie or my room.  and the double tree is full.  a dentists’ convention coming into town.  or maybe they don’t like me. . . .

the ticket i bought to come down to tallahassee was the first one i had ever bought on my own.  and now i’m about to do something new–change an airline ticket.

travel means flexibility.  and i am learning flexibility from reggie!  wish me luck on getting out of here because i don’t know where else to go but home.

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February 6, 2011

thank you f2fb #32 captain reggie!

By arlynnpresser

applications for the captain reggie gholston fan club are being accepted now!

i met captain reggie through f2fb friend #4 winston chang.  winston and reggie went to west point together.  reggie is 28 years old, has served in baghdad twice, and was part of the 82nd airborne division.  i say thank you to reggie every day because what he does ensures that we are safe.

i had cancelled every facebook friend visit because my father justin is really having a rough time.  he can’t stop talking.  in fact, as i am writing this, justin is standing over me telling me about the history of catholicism, graham greene, bimbos, early greek thinking about homosexuality, wittgenstein, and his method of teaching.  he says he wants to make a final confession to me.  it’s as if his brain was laid open and splattered onto his tongue:  he must give voice to every thought as it drops.

reggie had planned to fly in from savannah, georgia where he’s stationed and we were going to drive up to huntsville and then over to atlanta.  in the airport, as i picked him up, i quickly explained that there was a change of plans. . . .

reggie is exactly the man you want to have with you in an emergency.  he’s brave, quiet, steady, and steadying to everyone around him.  the four of us went to lunch, walked through the tallahassee cemetery and we’re going to watch the super bowl together.

reggie leaves tomorrow and i am grateful to him.  he didn’t want to do a video today because he said he wants to do something else with me:  he’s going to take me parachuting!  of course, he’s had lots of experiences (twenty) with the 82d airborne.  he said that when they do jumps, the army gives you a small bag in case you want to throw up.  otherwise, the etiquette rule is that you open your jumpsuit, and throw up into your left shoulder.  then zip yourself back up again.

jeez, if i can go up in an airplane and then jump out, i can do anything–and i trust reggie to show me how.

so sometime later this year, we’re going to take facebook friend sammie scruggs (reggie’s cousin) up in an airplane and fly!  sammie goes first, of course.  i’ll be the one gripping reggie’s hand so hard that his metacarpals break!

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February 5, 2011

f2fb #31 a sister can be a very good friend

By arlynnpresser

i hit a wall yesterday.  justin wore me out.  there’s some sort of drug interaction going on.  he calls it “academititis” insofar as he says that he has been trained to keep talking for a full hour for classes so he is unable to help himself except by talking in one hour chunks.  yesterday, in a moment of unbelievable cruelty, i said i had stage four cancer and that my sons had been dead for three weeks.  just to get him to stop talking for a minute.  i really feel like a jerk for doing that.  and besides, it didn’t work.

finally i told him to be quiet for five minutes and let me talk.  i did.  and then he got furious because i was talking about emotional issues.  so we agreed that he would stay quiet for five minutes if i chose a topic that was of suitable academic interest.  i chose the tudor regime.  catherine of aragon, the seymour brothers being beheaded, lady jane grey–i lasted three minutes.  but to his credit he stayed pretty quiet.  he asked one question about the chronology of anne boelyn’s beheading and jane seymour’s engagement announcement.

casey (oh, gosh, facebook friend #31) came into town and we are both worried about justin.  i am surprised at how patient she is with him, how wonderful she manages him, and how much real affection i feel for her.

last night and this morning i got a lot of encouraging messages saying keep going. . . i am reminded that my facebook friend william clark, who has been dead for quite some time, undertook a road trip with merriweather lewis.  and he didn’t know what all stuff he was going to face and overcome.  and i need to buck up because one day this year i’m going to be kidnapped by pirates while jetskiing from korea (to see john choie) to the phillipines (to see mark bitango rosario and his family).  i can’t be a crybaby now.

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February 5, 2011

f2fb might be the stupidest idea yet

By arlynnpresser

my new years resolution is to have “face time” with every facebook friend i have.  including the facebook friends i’ve met only once.  including the facebook friends i play scrabble with online and have never had an expectation of meeting.  including the facebook friends i accepted friendship requests from because i wanted to be polite and i have no idea who they are.  including the facebook friend who is my dad. … .

my father and mother put me up for adoption when i was three years old.  the children’s home and aid society of chicago placed me with the patrick family.  that didn’t work out very well and i left that family for some foster homes before i simply ended up dropping out of high school and starting at the first college that would accept me without a diploma.  i tracked down my father when i was twenty five.  he lives in tallahassee with his wife barbara.  i have a half sister casey.  she was born just a few months before i met barbara and justin.  she is now an actress in new york.

during january i did a great job with my resolution–staying on target, knowing that there will be some trips overseas that will eat up a lot of time, like mumbai, seoul, taipei, italy.  but i have looked forward to it all because i’m fifty years old and my kids are out of the house and this might be the last time i’m free to do this.

but this is february, when most people give up on their resolutions.  i came to tallahassee thinking i would see justin (face to facebook friend #30) and casey (#31) is to join us.  i was going to rent a car and meet up with dale morgan, the smart philosophy student i went to college with and have never seen since graduation.  with jonathan boyd, whom i have never met but play online scrabble with.  with sammie scruggs, who saw my picture and sent a request and i said yes, thinking “uh, who are you?”  and with sarah roberts who sang at a wedding and we had a really nice conversation and we promised to keep in touch and we friended each other and then. .. . ignored each other.  i have had to cancel all these trips because my father is not in a position that i can leave him on his own.  barbara is out of town.  casey is just getting into town.

and i have gained five pounds.  so i can’t even say that i’m doing a good job with the new years eve resolutions i’ve made before.

was this a stupid idea?  to think i could meet over three hundred friends in the course of a year?  or do all things worth doing have to appear to be impossible? i have worn a bracelet most of my adult life.  it is inscribed with the legson kayira motto “i will try”.  i have to decide whether i will now.

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February 4, 2011

cruelty: i’ve got it and i’m paying for it

By arlynnpresser

i came down to tallahassee all self-congratulatory.  i got through tsa, i got on the plane, i didn’t squeal during take off, i sprinted across charlotte airport to make my connecting flight, i said “i’m a world traveler” and then i swaggered into tallahassee.

justin picked me up in his white volkswagon beetle.  he got lost on the way back to his condo.  several times the sort of lost where he wandered into the left turn lane without a signal and then sort of stopped and announced “no, i want to turn right”. . . . i wanted to call either of the pilots of the day and say “excuse me, could you drive?”

and then i listened.  and listened.  i timed last night a forty minute monologue which was only terminated with me saying “yes” in response to a question.  i started the stop watch again.  twenty three minutes.  but then i had to go to the bathroom.  today, we took a tour of the campus.  we went to his office.  he told me again and again that the pictures a man keeps in his office explain the man:  and he walked me through almost every photograph before i excused myself to cry in the bathroom.  then i returned.  and he told me that he wanted to tell me about other photographs.  i returned to the bathroom.

chomsky.  linguistics.  scuba diving.  particulars of french civilization.  things he had discovered about sex when he was sixteen years old.  medical advances.  his teaching assistants.  television shows he had watched.  dreams he had had.  if i interrupted with a question or an aside, he would either tell me that it was his turn to talk or that he would get to my question later.  i finally gave up.  we got lost on the campus of the college where he teaches.  we returned to the condo.  i went to cry in the guest bedroom.  he’s lost his wallet and he’s got some physical problems that are troubling.  i asked him if he talks nonstop with barbara, his wife who is now in orlando, or with his daughter casey and he said no, but that he trusts me with vital information about himself.  all in all, he clocked nine and a half hours before i did something so cruel i am quite astonished with myself.  i interrupted him with an announcement that i had stage four cancer and that both joseph and eastman had been dead for three weeks.  i pray that i have not tempted fates.  i confessed my lie.  he simply took up where i had interrupted him.  he lasted eleven hours before i announced i had to go to bed.  i locked the bedroom door.  he stood outside and talked for a while longer.  i put in ear plugs and went to sleep.

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February 4, 2011

f2fb #30 my actual dad justin

By arlynnpresser

john wayne said that courage was being scared to death but saddling up anyway.  i guess today was my john wayne day.

i am afraid of flying.  i’m not sure whether i’m more scared of dying in a flaming aluminum tube of destruction or of having a panic attack so furious that i end up as a lead on fox news.  but if i’m going to make my new years resolution and meet every single facebook friend i have, i will need to get on a plane.  to seoul.  to taipei.  to mumbai.  to istanbul.  to mexico city.  and to homer, alaska.

i figured i’d start small.  tallahassee.  my facebook friend is justin, who is my dad.  he has been having some cancer issues and he asked me to see him.  that’s unusual in itself.  but this morning i went to o’hare, stepped on a plane to charlotte north carolina and got on a plane from charlotte to tallahassee to see justin.  i didn’t panic when the kid seated behind me kicked my back.  i looked out of the window sometimes.  i raced across the charlotte airport and found my gate.  i know these are the things that everybody does every day.  the proof is that the airports were packed.

but now i’ve done it too!  i’m starting my journey.

justin is not feeling well at all.  the cancer has metastasized.  we talked tonight about a lot of things, including our bucket lists.  here’s his:

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