face to facebook friend gilbert gottfried

my new years resolution as of december 31 was to meet every facebook friend i had and that’s a considerable new years resolution. obviously not as difficult as losing five pounds (my usual resolution). but still. it’s day 74 of the year and last night i posted about tim crawford (73).

i’ve learned a lot about friendship and loyalty. i have on speed dial exactly who i’d call at two o’clock in the morning from the winnetka police department. i know who i’d party with if i won the lottery and who would be willing to party with me if i didn’t. but i don’t think i have a friend quite like gilbert gottfried.

gilbert is a comedian. never known for any sensitivity. known mostly for his braying voice, whether as the parrot named iago in disney’s aladdin or the duck in aflac supplemental insurance commercials. when he first opened a facebook account, he sent out friendship requests. i’m not sure why i got one, but i did and i happily accepted. but when i went to new york, i had nearly a dozen friends to meet. everyone was so helpful, from richard “mop” furniss (friend #53) who took me on a tour of the museum of sex to william clark (#60) who proposed. #58 john r. douglas took me to the morgan museum where i saw an actual shakespeare first folio. vince p. (#57) invited me to a party with real celebrities.

but gilbert never responded to my messages, emails, nothing. and then there’s this:

he tweeted some jokes like “the japanese are so advanced. they don’t go down to the beach. the beach comes to them” and “i just split up with my girlfriend. but like the japanese say, there’ll be another one floating by any minute” he has since been fired by aflac which gets a considerable share of its revenue from the japanese market and he’s dutifully issued the “i’m sorry if anybody was offended by what i said” apology which places the responsibility to say “oh, no, it’s okay, i’m just too sensitive” on everyone else. he’ll recover. he’ll have his defenders. he’ll do some charitable venture that will make up for it all. he will be, as charlie sheen says, winning.

i don’t take defriending lightly. it might be just facebook. but the real question for me isn’t whether he can make a bad joke or not. it’s whether he’s a friend. and he’s not. there is no part of him that is friend to me. there is no part of him i want to be friends with. so with deep regret, i must defriend him.

therefore, goodbye f2fb friend number zero mr. gottfried. i wish you all the commercial, professional and personal success in the world. just not on my facebook page.

in other news, i have new friends from israel–my story was featured on an israeli magazine site. also, tomorrow i am being interviewed for america in the morning by tom delach! but the most wonderful news is that i will spend some time with the artist loraine yolles (f2fb #74)

4 responses to “face to facebook friend gilbert gottfried

  • menjesus

    Amen, Arlynn. There are many ways of being friends, even to someone you’ve never met. You can even have a friend who is unfriendly. But Mr. Gottfried has not displayed any signs of being a friend. Bless you for your well thought out decision.

    Yeah for new friends in Israel. Your around the world trip just got longer!!

  • Elisheva

    I read about you on that Israeli site. Will you be coming here soon?

  • Linda Glaser

    Always liked that duck, too. What a jerk, but that’s being kind.

    • arlynnpresser

      i’ve always had a soft spot for mr. gottfried. even when he’s been well not nice. but friendship is a two way street. someone is nice to you, you are nide to them. there’s nothing coming back from him (the whole not seeing me in new york city) and so i have to judge our friendship on the basis of his comments about japan. i noticed that jodie foster defends mel gibson. she does so because she has a history of person experiences that make her think “i want to be loyal” i don’t have any of that. however, the duck was great.

      i show in israel towards the end of the year i think. . .

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