so i could have said anything: food poisoning, my dog died, car accident, traffic (related), family drama, sudden call from the president asking for advice on foreign relations.
oh, but there would be 1. no, 2. don’t have a dog, 3. uh, didn’t didn’t actually get into a car, 4. good one, vague, but actually, no, and 5. i’m not sure he needs or wants my advice.
mr. f2fb friend #205 bill wedan was performing in a concert on saturday night. i prepared. i was dressed. keys on the kitchen counter. mapquest printed out. jack the gps dude performing back up.
and i thought i can’t. because i will have a heart attack on the highway, explode spontaneously, anaphylaxic shock, uh oh, it’s the usual stuff i do. but i gave in. this year has been about not giving in. about going out. doing it. meeting the friends, seeing the world, getting it all done.
so, i stood up mr. f2fb friend #205 at his concert. for the first time, i decided to not use an excuse. instead, i wrote him and said “i’m sorry. i had a big anxiety attack and there was no way i was going to get out of the house.”
i’ve never thought that somebody could say “okay” to that.
i’ve had a few rough days but i got out there, and i picked up bill wedan at his home on fargo avenue in chicago.
he offered to pick me up at my house for lunch this afternoon. i decided it was a wrong idea. i need to go out into the world. even as far as fargo. avenue. but also, i needed to apologize. he accepted graciously.
i wonder if some of us occasionally (or not so occasionally) make up excuses. this was one time when i didn’t.