i will move up your legs until i meet resistance!

as a pick up line, it’ll get you to third base but you ain’t gonna make it to home.  coming from a t.s.a. agent while she’s snapping her blue plastic gloves, it was enough to give me a serious case of the swoons.  i was in a plexiglass cage at the albany airport security gate, with helga (she didn’t have a nametag but i would lay a benjamin down for her being a helga).  four male agents were positioned around the cage.

“i will move up your legs until i meet resistance,”  she said and she crouched before me.  grabbing one of my ankles.

i did what any catholic girl would do, i snapped my knees together.

karl and joe really were a lot of fun! i liked montreal but maybe not the authorities! brandon got a speeding ticket on the way back and is now on a registry for canadian criminals because he refuses to pay the fine. i won't go back either, except to visit bruce byfield in vancouver

helga’s hands were strong, the fingers seeking flesh that was fecund, lush, malleable.  that’s when she hit third base, just beyond the lace edge of my thong panty.  for those of you who are not up on your lingerie technicalities, a thong panty is a cross between a g-string and a tanga panty.  victoria’s secret puts out an academic journal that serves as a catalog AND an educational tool.

in any event, her fingers flickered just a bit under the lace and i thought, “jeez, this gal hasn’t asked me to dinner, hasn’t told me i’m pretty, or even kissed me!”  after repeating the process on my other leg (did i imagine that she lingered a bit too long?), she said i could go.

truth is i was really shook up.  and i came home to review my run-ins with canadian and american authorities.  i had a serious case of the doubts.  but i couldn’t give in just yet, because i was having lunch with f2fb friend #209 tim smithe.

tim smithe was friends with joseph and eastman all through middle school and high school.  he did plays with them, played in bands with them, and probably got into all sorts of trouble with them that i am blessed to not know about.  but after tim graduated from high school and went to missouri for college, the story faltered.  keeping up with facebook, i was able to get the general drift:  he had a rough patch, he moved out to los angeles, he came back and fell in love, and last i heard he was working at the nordstrom’s ladies shoes department.  now THIS was a f2fb encounter i could appreciate!!!

however, tim has moved on from nordstrom’s.  he works at careerbuilder.com.  he has an apartment in the city.  he has a fabulous girlfriend.   he wears a suit like he owns the city.  we went to the midtown grille and caught up.  i am so happy to know him.

tim's father and two uncles own walter e smithe furniture company. i respect how tim is making his own way in the world, even though i'm sure the smithe company would love to have him working there!

tim was interested in my new years resolution and asked a lot of questions.  i mentioned that some of my facebook friends whom i meet are going through tough times, particularly when they lose their jobs.  i wondered if tim, as a careerbuilder.com professional, had any advice–

i was so happy to see tim and he mentioned a way that he has been affected by my facebook project.  he said that sometimes he’s overwhelmed by messages and posts and notifications on facebook and sometimes he says to himself “i’ll get to that message later”.  he’s making a resolution of his own–to follow up more quickly with people.  i admire that!