Archives: 2011

July 24, 2011

a small little convention in san diego plus a facebook warning

By arlynnpresser

sometimes the logistics of this new years resolution get to me.  i have friends all over the globe, sometimes they move, sometimes they even move without telling me (which might be a sign of some sort).  i have two friends who live in alaska, which sounds like it makes things easier to see them, but they live so far apart in the state that it will take a minimum of three flights to go from one to another.

so i considered f2fb friend #179 brian brethauer.  he lives in idaho, and not like ten minutes from the boise idaho airport.  i worried how i was going to see him.  yet, he seemed to intuit that there might be a problem and he suggested he would be in san diego on july 20 for a tiny little convention for those who love comic books (otherwise known as comicon).  thus, the trip to los angeles and san diego was planned with the greatest goal being to meet brian brethauer.  i drove three hours from los angeles to san diego.

meanwhile, brian drove eighteen hours from idaho with his two friends dave and ezra who are brothers.   brian and i are friends through our shared appreciation of my grandfather fritz leiber’s science fiction.  but it was our first time meeting.  awkward?  absolutely not.  a testament to what a great friend brian is.

we boarded the tram for the convention center where the preview party would be held.  we talked about facebook.

comicon turned out to be a huge deal, way bigger than i expected and way stranger.  everybody was dressed as their favorite character from their favorite alternate reality.  i thought it was great that everybody could be exactly who they wanted to be without anybody judging them.

brian has been coming to comicon for ten years now, five of them with dave and ezra.  he said that when the convention started, you could order tickets online over the space of a few days.  this year, he didn’t even get tickets, instead he agreed to help his best friend jason brubaker sell copies of his comic “remind” and jason was able to score three “exhibitor” tickets for dave, ezra and brian.  somehow, jason even got me a pass.

 

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July 21, 2011

the unexpected facebook friend

By arlynnpresser

my new years resolution made on december 31, 2009 was to among other things lose five pounds.  i weighed 138.  i weighed 138 on december 31, 2010 when i made this year’s resolution to turn off the computer, get off the damn couch, and find all these 335 people who are my facebook friends.  my technology was simple:  i would make the virtual world real.

along the way this year, i’ve met some new facebook friends.  people i’ve met in person on my travels who have sent me friend requests later.  there was a comment about me at gizmodo.com and another on brazilian national television.  suddenly new friendships form and i wonder–should i visit the new friends as well?

i settled on the notion that i should meet the friends who were my friends as of december 31 last year and that if i meet other, more recent friends along the way, that would be an added bonus.  damn, i really really want to go to brazil, japan, and iceland–even as the prospect scares me silly!

tom bremer is my friend in los angeles who befriended me after he read an article about me in gizmodo.com.  he was following my adventures and noticed i was in los angeles.  he asked if he could meet me. . . . and even though everything in los angeles is three hours away from everything else, it turned out his office was just across the street from my hotel.

you can check out his work at tombremer.com — he’s an amazing animator and he was just the right person to meet before heading for a small, little known convention in san diego.  it’s called comicon and i have to meet f2fb friend #179 brian brethauer.  if i don’t make it to san diego in time to see him at the convention, i have to go to idaho where he lives.

thanks tom!  i’m really glad you contact me!  if i’m in a town where any facebook friend lives, i want to see them!

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July 20, 2011

f2fb friend # 178 teaches me to check in on friendship

By arlynnpresser

i met f2fb friend #178 josh garfinkel in chicago while he was thinking about going to law school.  he and i met through a mutual friend jon levkoviz who directed my younger son eastman in a movie.  josh was like an ingenue fielding offers to the prom–university of michigan, harvard, university of chicago, northwestern.

and we went to movies.  and played world of warcraft.  and hung out.

then his father died of a heart attack in his sleep.  it was a devastating blow.  and yet, somehow he managed to go to university of michigan law school.  law school takes a hundred and ten percent out of you, and sometimes it must have seemed overwhelming.  but he’s overcome everything, making his family–including his father–very proud.

sometimes in our friendship, josh has seemed distant.  and then not distant.  i always thought that the “distant” times were because i had something wrong or had offended in some way.   and because he’s twenty years younger than me i have thought i wasn’t cool enough to be his friend.  but no, distant times were when josh was feeling overwhelmed in the wake of his father’s death and with the pressures of law school.   i should have checked in more often with him.

josh and i spent the evening at the courtyard of the hacienda hotel with f2fb friend #140 benjamin gonzalez and brandon brown, who are filming about this year’s journey.  i was surprised at how easily the conversation moved–movies, music, popular culture, politics, religion.  before i knew it, it was almost midnight and tomorrow i was to have breakfast with a very mysterious facebook friend who is NOT part of the original facebook friends of january 1, 2011.  i said good night to everybody but not before whipping out my flip camera.

i really look forward to seeing josh garfinkel again when he comes to chicago!

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July 20, 2011

a f2fb friend shows me how to die. and i tell her how to avoid it!

By arlynnpresser

there are places that we keep in our  heads:  the statue of liberty, the white house, the eiffel tower.  we don’t even need to have ever seen them, but when the image appears in a book, a movie, a video game we just know.  and we share with everyone else–whether they’ve been there done that or not–a common understanding of what’s at hand.

i always thought that i would forever have the world as a picture in my mind.  augmented by trivia facts that are words strung together that don’t do anything to make the picture any clearer:  the  eiffel tower is located on the champs de mars,  buckingham palace has three rings surrounding a central courtyard.

this year, some of my facebook friends have shown me things i have only imagined:  the inside of the new york public library (thank you john r. douglas), the topanga mountains (thank you jose rios), and the tower in providence, rhode island where superman leapt the tall building in a single bound.  f2fb friend #177 balbinka kamila showed me the iconic hollywood sign on mount lee in the santa monica mountains.  it’s forty five feet tall and three hundred and fifty feet long–way bigger than i expected.  and i would have gotten closer but a) we were trespassing and b) i was wearing ballet slippers.  better than heels at least.

balbinka is an actress and director.  she worked with my son eastman on a movie ten years ago and we’ve kept in touch.  she is well aware of the ironies of her business!  after we hiked back to the car, we settled into her living room to watch “a modern day matchmaking affair” which she directed.  brava brava!

and i’m grateful to all my facebook friends for what they share with me, whether it’s a place, an experience, a story, a skill.  i’m a lucky lucky gal!

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July 15, 2011

f2fb #173 embarrasses his children too! it’s not just me!

By arlynnpresser

i’ve had the talk with my sons joseph and eastman many times.  i think because they were in musical theater when they were younger and it seemed like the right thing to do:

me:  if you told me you were gay, i’d be disappointed for a day or so.  because i’d be thinking how your life is going to different from what i expected.  but then i’d get over it.

joseph (or eastman):  okay mom.

me:  so are you?  are you gay?

joseph (or eastman):   mom, would you just stop it.  no.

i didn’t really put them at ease, did i?  rusty and i talked yesterday about how he’s had that same talk with his triplets, who are now all adults.  one is openly gay, one is a heterosexual with an entire season of “the bachelor” ups and downs in his life, and one is a daughter who has married and given rusty two great treasures:  grandchildren.

i would have thought that the conversation would be easier for rusty who is a comfortably out man.  i was wrong.  but it was neat to find out we have common ground in how we approach our children, wanting to make them feel loved and appreciated in whatever life they lead.

when i was growing up in the sixties, we had rotary phones that were attached to the wall.  the television had four channels, plus pbs which nobody watched.  the news came on twice an evening and the anchors read from a stack of papers laid out in front of them–once, fahey flynn from chicago was sent to berlin to cover an event for our local chicago news and he reported that there were a lot of “foreign” cars in europe.

and being gay?  not on the radar.  i didn’t even understand what homosexuality was until i was in college and the village people came out with “macho man”. . . a friend explained why they wore the costumes.  i was somewhat baffled.  and from then on my gaydar has operated in such a manner that i assume all men are gay until they tell me otherwise.

also in the sixties, the world was divided between communist countries and “free” countries.   communist countries were generally evil and their leaders hated americans and wanted to kill us all.  every single day, there was the prospect that somebody in moscow would fire off a nuclear missile at the united states for no good reason at all.  and we’d all be dead in a war that was widely understood to only last about twenty minutes.

rusty and i first met when eastman was performing in a play at a theater rusty lead.  rusty and his partner live way outside the city and rusty got burnt out by the commute and the day to day struggles of keeping a theater financially afloat.  he now owns a home design retail establishment.  he has been following my facebook odyssey from the beginning and has been cheering me on.  he is very delighted to be mr. f2fb friend #173.

rusty’s parents wanted the best for rusty–but they had to struggle against the pressures of cuba under castro.  cuba was and still is a communist country.  although rusty first told me this story eight years ago, it has always made an impression on me.

i’m also grateful that i was able to (with no trouble on my part) give my boys the gift of american citizenship.  okay, okay, they have to put up with my embarrassing questions and my odd quirks, but they at least have that.

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July 14, 2011

love, fame, money–the max tam dilemma and f2fb friend #172 kristen jasinski

By arlynnpresser

fame is a great motivator.  no less a philosopher than f2fb friend #45 max tam, when offered by me a choice of love, fame or money, opined that he desired fame first, because the money would follow and, well, the women would make a hasty entrance.

sometimes people are enormously famous in their lifetimes and then fall into obscurity.  i think of the duchess of newcastle, a greatly popular writer whose works nobody could now name (okay, okay, send me an email with three of her works and i’ll buy you a beer!).  there’s girolamo savonarola who singlehandedly changed western europe in 1500 and then poof!  it’s as if he never existed.  and then there are those people who aren’t widely known in their lifetimes but come to represent an age–emily dickinson would be surprised that she is now famous.

greta kempton was famous in her lifetime as a celebrated portraitist.  she was commissioned to do the official portrait of president harry truman, the first female artist to be so honored.

harry truman's portrait by greta kempton

but then greta passed on.  many of her works were bequethed to the harry truman library and that’s where my f2fb friend #172 kristen jasinski comes in.  she and her husband wesley bought the bulk of the collection.  their house is full of greta’s paintings:

kristen and wesley believe so much in the value of greta’s work that they have formed a foundation and a website — gretakempton.org — to preserve and enhance her stature as “america’s da vinci”.  kristen is a docent for the organization.  as she took me on a tour of the house, i noticed this greta kempton self-portrait on the artist’s palette:

with a champion such as f2fb friend kristen jasinski, greta will become once again a famous painter.   so kristen is a good friend to me and a good friend to greta kempton!

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July 13, 2011

fearless means flexible

By arlynnpresser

the call came just as i was settling down with a book and a late afternoon cookie.  i had resolved that there was no further reason for me to engage in the world–except in a fictional sense.  the relief, the sweet sigh, the gratitude that i didn’t have to go out anymore.

sure, i am falling a little behind on my facebook new year’s resolution.  it was day 193 of the year and i have only visited with 170 friends.  if i’m going to meet the goal of 335 friends who had been my friends as of january one, i had to be more disciplined.  but one day, one sweet day of being a shut in. . . . .

then i got the call from todd stephens.  at first i ignored it.  not because i was avoiding him.  or disliked him.  it’s just i knew what he wanted.  he wanted a f2fb encounter.

the conditions were right–sunny, hot, and a light breeze coming across lake michigan.

“we’re leaving in twenty minutes,”  he said in the voice message he left.  “hope you can make it.”

people like me, people who hide from the world, don’t like a change in plans.   especially when they’re wearing their pajamas and are planning a “safe” evening at home.  but flexibility is the thing i have been trying to learn this year.

i threw on some pants, found my keys, and arrived at f2fb friend #171 todd stephen’s home just in time.

todd is an adventurer.  exactly my age, he cycles, skis, climbs and runs.  but his greatest joy is boating.  he has three.  today we would sail on the sailacious.  losing just one i gives you a pretty good idea of todd’s sense of humor.  the boat has been todd’s for fourteen years.  oddly, the right to the slip at wilmette harbor is the more valuable item—there is a 78 year waiting list.  we brought with us a mutual friend and fellow rotarian chuck taylor who served as first mate.

as we pulled out onto the lake, i realized i had forgotten my ativan (for anxiety), my inhaler (for asthma), and a life vest.  the coast guard was nowhere to be seen.  todd and chuck unfurled the jib and main sail without the slightest concern for killer fish or spontaneous water spouting up from the depths.  in fact, they looked like they were having fun–trading jokes, imbibing in a brewskie.  i relaxed, i even allowed as how i could steer.

the weather turned cold, the clouds rolled in, the coast guard boat–sirens bleating–sped past us on some mission not directly related to rescuing me.  i didn’t mind.  i had a good time.  at the house, we shook hands and promised to do this again sometime.

i still got my book.  my cookie.  my pajamas.  i still closed the door on the world.  but i did it four hours later, after having a wonderful time on the lake.  my first time as a sailor.  thanks, todd, for teaching me something new!  although i still don’t know the difference between port and starboard and jib and main sail.

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July 12, 2011

the cinderella of winnetka

By arlynnpresser

this cinderella is NOT my facebook friend!

my f2fb friend #170 carol hansen is a real life cinderella!  she tells everyone that it is so and everyone believes her.  carol was a single mother living in a small apartment in winnetka, sewing and designing dresses for village matrons to support her daughters.  then she met her prince–a recently divorced winnetka father.  bluntly, she wanted to marry him.  equally blunt in his declarations, he was not interested in remarriage.

but without the help of a fairy godmother, carol set about her seduction in the most creative fashion.  once, she planned a birthday party a deux in which she donned the uniform she had worn as a flight attendant in her twenties.  she made him comfortable in first class seating.  brought out dinner on a tray and showed an inflight movie about their destination of aruba.

carol and i first met each other when we volunteered on behalf of the winnetka community house.  carol has moved to volunteering more on behalf of political causes including planned parenthood funding.  she is always conscious of the struggles of young women.

we share a special bond because when she was young, she was pregnant and gave up her child for adoption.  that daughter has recently come back into her life.  we share our perspectives on adoptive children reconnecting with parents.  it’s difficult to blend our past with our present and future selves.

lunch with cinderella wouldn’t be the same without the crown–so i brought two and let myself believe in the princess inside of me.

i admire carol so much and she was so supportive of my new years resolution.  she is a cinderella who is grateful for what she has and for what she can give to others.  i want to be more like carol!

i found this glass slipper on my front porch the next morning!

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July 11, 2011

facebook friends change me

By arlynnpresser

i could not have done this in january.  this project has changed me.  i am transformed by every friend i meet just a little bit at a time.  this was a change that has taken six months of this project to come about!  i am grateful every day for my facebook friends.

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