the ex-husband and i edge closer to a house sale. we have come to an agreement with the buyers on price and they’re doing an inspection with their contractor on monday. tentatively, we’re closing on june 28. that’s when i become homeless, but in a very nice way. it’s not like i’m going to be roaming the streets asking people for spare change and telling them i’m an injured war veteran with six kids to support.
nope, we’re going to rename this blog THE HOMELESS AGORAPHOBIC and figure out what to do with the rest of this life.
nonetheless, it’s difficult as someone who has regarded this as my safe place to know it’s not my safe place anymore.
it’s impossible to hide from a three year old that they have been adopted and that they’re sporting new parents. my name was changed to lynn melody patrick. i wasn’t allowed to keep anything justin and aleta may have sent with me. i was in a new place. and i had new people to call mom and dad.
sometimes i think agoraphobia is the outsized desire to have the world be safe, manageable and unchanging. weirdly, the world never is.
i ran away from home when i was in my early teens. i was very proud that i could pack everything i owned in a single hefty garbage back. i still have some of the books that i took with me. later, i was placed in different foster homes. again, it was a good skill to be able to keep all of one’s possessions in a tight space and be able to pack at a moment’s notice.
maybe last year was a blessing: i spent so much time in airplanes, trains, hotels, automobiles, on the road, in the air, at the terminal, standing in line at customs, standing in line at security, that i’m going to be okay about this dislocation.
my biological mother aleta did not appreciate having me find her when i was twenty five. this was before facebook, before the internet, jeez, i had to hire a private detective. she didn’t want me in her life. not when i was three years old. not when i was twenty five years old. and frankly. . . not now either.
in the meantime, i hope you’re looking up 572 lincoln avenue winnetka illinois on mapquest and thinking about a new or gently used children’s book you want to bring to the face 2 facebook party on saturday night. starts at five o’clock, courtesy of arthur frank the owner, and concludes at eight. i’ll be unveiling the new i-book “face 2 facebook”. . . .the first three chapters are free to you! and if you’re a blogger or a writer–this is the future of how books can be constructed — can’t wait to see you there!