the angels and demons in my bedroom

it’s every single morning before i even open up my eyes.  the angel i always imagine to be sitting on the window sill.  the demon lounging in bed next to me smoking a brimstone cigarette.

my personal angel doesn’t actually look like this. maybe yours does.  angels exist in the muslim, christian and jewish traditions but are ordinarily depicted as males.  is this picture a blow for feminism?


the angel was particularly adamant this morning:  i have finished revising the book about my facebook adventures of 2011 and had sent it to my editor at tate publishing.  but i need to sort through thirty to fifty photographic images to include in the book.  i had sold yet another book to tate yesterday.  oh, and facebook — yes, but not actually mark zuckerberg himself — had contacted me to find out if they could do a story about me.  it was a good day yesterday and included other blessings:  a friend had been nice to me, it was sunny and warm outside, the coffee was good.  and so the angel asks of me the same thing as every morning:  get out of bed.

the demon, meanwhile, has other things on his mind.

you’re fat, you’re old, you drink too much, you have a social life that is largely conducted on facebook, you’re irrelevant, you could die today and nobody would notice so why don’t you stay in bed and watch korean soap operas on says the demon

for a number of mornings, the demon has been very persuasive.  and i’ve watched eight episodes of season one and four of season two of faith about a korean protector of the king who travels through time to find a twenty first century doctor to save the life of the queen and then the surgeon . . . . oh, forget it.

today the angel won.  but only after an hour’s battle while i tried to go back to sleep.  the battle occurs every morning and it’s sort of the same for other people i’ve been finding.   my friends describe the enormous effort it takes to get it together every morning.

yesterday was a good day for angels watching over the facebook enterprise.  after opening at a stock price of $38 months ago, the company has lost half its value, closing at less than twenty dollars per share at one point.  the demons definitely were feeling pretty sure of themselves.  but this past wednesday, prices shot up an astonishing 19% to close at $23.  i betcha this morning when mark zuckerberg’s angels and demons were discussing whether mark should get up or declare a sick day, his angel had something wonderful on his side to motivate him.

do you have a conversation between demons and angels in your head?  is it mostly in the morning, like me?

12 responses to “the angels and demons in my bedroom

  • carolynquinn

    This does not happen to me. Did you watch “All in the Family” while you were growing up? In the spirit of Archie Bunker, by all means tell that imaginary demon to STIFLE HIMSELF and get thee outside into the sunshine!

  • Miss X

    Yes, every morning. Sometimes though, one particular demon is fought by staying in bed. There are many.

  • Rachel Creager Ireland

    That sounds like a great tv show!
    I used to have trouble getting out of bed. I don’t anymore. But am unduly influenced by conversations I have with real people, like the people at the Dept. of Revenue, or my sister. I tried to give in to a rare impulse to hide in a closet today, but all the closets were too full of crap to get into.

  • tonytyner

    You said; “haha! but yeah, i am unduly influenced by words that are said to me even by mere humans.” Good, because this person thinks you are a very attractive beautiful woman. Funny as can be and I think humor is very sexy. Intelligent. Kind. Strong. And if she would allow the angel to persist over the demon has unlimited potential!!! But can you throw and catch a baseball? Than you’d be perfect. 🙂

    Congrats for getting out of bed!! and for having stuff to put in your closets.

  • William Taylor

    Brilliant as always. MY conversations usually happen at night. But I’ve learned to look BEYOND the immediate impulse of ”my demon” : SELF GRATIFICATION! I’ve found the end result of taking that evening, walk, NOT drinking, and going to bed early, so I can get UP early, and take a morning walk is FAR more rewarding! AND LOOKING forward to feeling better is a GREAT motivator for NOT drinking!

  • soundhippy

    Arlynn, I’ve been thinking about the same conversations over the past two days. Seems we’re on the same wavelength! I find the conversations are loudest when I’m starved for human interaction, and I’ve found that going out for a walk, to get a coffee, or even a quick trip to the grocery store – just getting out for awhile – can make a big difference. I know it can be a struggle, but it does help. I find getting out of my physical space helps me to get out of a funky mental space as well.

    You are an intelligent, funny, beautiful, compassionate, and courageous person. When your devil greets you when you wake, try throwing off the covers, making a cup/pot of coffee, and starting your day doing something you enjoy. Wishing you better, easier mornings!

    • William Taylor

      Smart advice sir. I’m well aware of this ”funky mental space!” And I’ve discovered cleaning house is a big help-Incredibly big! Making a CLEAN space can be a big mental boost.
      And I find I’m “cleaning house” in a number of other areas too! Friends help. And I’m finding them in places I’ve never expected. Life is gradually getting better. I found that all I really have to do is step outside myself, and look Objectively at my situation. We’re all our own worst critics, TOO often self-blind. Always listen to those you call friends! Not just what they TELL you, but learn to listen for what they DON’T tell you. That’s how you’ll know who your friends REALLY are.

  • tonytyner

    I just heard Marianne Williamson say, “Magic is when we ask the Universe for something. Miracles happen when we ask the Universe, what we can do?”

  • Air Cooled Underware

    Just a note. I would miss you Arlynn.

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