my dear friend marky z is a small businessman. he started his little financial empire out of his college dorm room, programming and brainstorming and dealing with the insufferable but undeniably handsome winklevoss twins cameron and tyler.*
yo, marky z, you’ve brought together a lot of people with facebook! and you’ve taken your company public so that we all can invest! uh, well, stock prices have dropped since the ipo at just under forty washingtons to yesterday’s $25 per share. talk about affordability!
marky z is going to be reporting roughly $2.3 billion of income from his stock options alone–you have to add in his wife priscilla’s income as a physician and–who knows?–maybe marky moonlights as a bartender. he does get a deduction for $500,000,000 that he gave to the silicon valley community foundation (and yes, i have the correct number of zeros). the top federal tax rate is 48% and the california state government takes out an extra 13.3%. he hasn’t filed his taxes yet this year, but analysts predict he’s going to owe more than $1,000,000,000 with a top tax rate of 48.3%.
really, should we tell marky z about the 1% arlynn presser surcharge on taxes?
and *tell the winklevoss twins that i’m happy to have dinner with them. just not at the same time. that would be too weird.
arlynnpresser 
March 30th, 2013 at 6:45 pm
What does the Silicon Valley community foundation need with $500,000,000? Is it just for the community? Or can it be used for causes in other locations?
March 30th, 2013 at 6:51 pm
rachel, they do connect donors and their money with projects in the community and throughout the globe. they have roughly 2.9 billion in assets. i think i’m a good charitable cause, don’t you?
March 30th, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Oh, I can think of lots of good causes, including you. But facebook itself could sponsor you as a spokesperson. You could do speaking engagements wherever you go to visit friends . . .
March 31st, 2013 at 1:56 am
absolutely we need to be thinking about pitching this to marky!!!!! i wish i knew how to do that! please dude, i love that facebook, i love how you have put me together with delightful friends and let’s do more!
April 4th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
As one agoraphobe to another – i think thats an awesome idea! You have gotten out of your shell & done amazing things!
I think you should receive a scholarship/donation for all of the publicity you’ve given FB all this time.
April 4th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
i would love some “grant money” from facebook. . . . marky???
March 30th, 2013 at 8:23 pm
This one cracked me up, ArLynn!
March 31st, 2013 at 1:54 am
that is absolutely my intention! poor mr. zuckerberg. on the other hand, i sometimes wonder about de tocqueville’s observation that the “american experiment” would only last as long as it took for the majority to figure out that they should appropriate the wealth of the rich. like cypress. i would not want to be a cypriot right now! or at least one who wanted to buy groceries or had my retirement savings in a bank. a world wide recession is at hand.
April 7th, 2013 at 11:52 pm
Unfortunately the rich have been appropriating our money and power for the past 35 years with a bit of a break in the 1990’s. Sigh.
April 4th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
You are adorable! That was just too funny – I sent the link to your page to my husband… 🙂
Oh – BTW. Were in that last category, since i gave them my wallet years ago, I’ve learned to just send my pockets of my jeans! lol
Good stuff honey!
April 4th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
i’m definitely last category and i am always freaked out this time of the year!!