face to facebook–i really didn’t jack the car!

i spent valentine’s day lunch with f2fb#39 anne six knight who is the mom of allan knight who was, for several years, eastman’s best friend. anne is friends with f2fb#26 ann silberman and with f2fb#8 janet sussman. anne works from home and she agrees with me that it’s easy to end up not leaving the house, or at least the village, for weeks at a time.

yesterday i also talked to my sister casey who is my facebook friend as well. i was worried about our dad justin who seemed to have some sort of paranoia when i went down to tallahassee. i was supposed to meet up with facebook friends from huntsville, atlanta, savannah, and palm harbor. instead, i ended up keeping watch over justin and cancelling every sidetrip. while throughout the trip there was an undercurrent of hostility to me, the full blown attack came in the final moments.

anne is a lawyer who works with home foreclosures. i asked her what someone who can’t make a mortgage payment should do. she said run, don’t walk to your bank!


all we need is love!

on valentine’s day here is a love story: f2fb#38 jay schwandt and his husband john have been married for five years, which in gay and hollywood years means they are celebrating the diamond anniversary. they used to live in chicago and jay worked at winnetka’s book stall. which means i saw him a couple of times a week. our conversations were really deep and meaningful:

“what a nice dress! where’d you get it?”
“isn’t the weather awful?”
“did you see that latest jennifer aniston movie?”

jay moved for love to indianapolis. his husband is a talented actor who rules the indianapolis stage and is considering a second move to new york where he will take over broadway. i drove to indianapolis sunday morning feeling a little weighed down from those horseshoes i ate in springfield. jay and i walked through the indianapolis museum of art. i was surprised by the collection, which i didn’t expect to be so incredible. and i hadn’t realized the museum would be so busy with folks who looked at the art in an appreciative way–no social climbing at this place. the chicagoan thinks that indianapolis can’t possibly have the cultural delights of theater and art, and this chicagoan is wrong.

jay had something to say about growing up and moving out of his own “winnetka” small town. . . .

i’m glad there’s facebook because jay is one of those friends who would be a memory as in “remember that guy that used to work at the book stall? whatever happened to him?” instead, i’d like to apply for the position of extra sister to him. on valentine’s day, i admire the love he gives to others, including the robert indiana love magnet for my refrigerator that he bought me at the gift shop!

when i told jay i was coming into indianapolis he replied that it was wonderful, but that please don’t cry in the bathroom!!! i didn’t, although i got a little teary hearing about his commitment ceremony because it sounded just so damn wonderful!


f2fb#37 steve rahn and the recipes for horseshoes and fortitude

i met steve rahn three years ago when my business partner todd parkhurst and i were writing and producing plays to teach ethics to lawyers.  ha!  you might say–there is no way to teach ethics to lawyers.  i didn’t say it was a great idea, just that’s what we were doing.   f2fb#37 steve rahn worked for the illinois institute for continuing legal education (where f2fb#36 melissa still works) and i was so impressed with his sense of humor, his calm, his professionalism.

it wasn’t until we were driving through springfield this weekend that he said, in passing, “over there is where my son is buried”.    i cannot imagine the kind of strength necessary to go on from such a thing:  i believe if something happened to joseph or eastman, my life would be over.  and for him never to have given a hint of his personal grief before is a real testament to his professionalism.  which he is bringing into his next incarnation in private practice as a lawyer.  it’s hard to remake oneself as we get to the midcentury mark.  steve rahn, i truly admire you!

but you can’t get out of springfield without horseshoes and he shared a bit of its history.  the horseshoe was created by the head chef at springfield’s leland hotel in 1928 and the original form employed hamsteak instead of beef.  a half horseshoe is called a ponyshoe and, as it turns out, i had a ponyshoe when i dined with melissa at the westwinds lounge (if you go there be prepared to see all sorts of taxidermy hung from the walls, the ceiling, crawling on the baseboard, floating in your glass. . . . )

steve said he would have to kill me if he shared his secrets but that’s when i bailed out of the car.

steve rahn’s horseshoe

place a piece of bread on each plate, put a piece of cooked ham steak (thinly sliced) on bread.  add a generous dollop of bechamel cheese sauce (see below).  top with a garnish of crispy cooked ore-ida french fries.  in order to make this a healthy treat, wave a lettuce leaf over the top before serving (discard lettuce leaf)

bechamel sauce

melt 1/2 stick butter in a pan and stir in 1/4 cup flour.  when you have a nice roue, not lumpy at all, add two cups whole milk (or cream if you are courageous).  after stirring up the mixture, add 2 cups kraft blended preshredded cheddar, american and monterey jack cheese.  a dash of tabasco sauce and a bit of pepper.

so i gotta know:

 

i have the new york trip scheduled for the twenty fourth of february and am just laying down tracks for a trip to mexico city and to the eastern seaboard.  i am so happy and so excited and so scared all at the same time!  and the mc kato concert has been rescheduled for february 22.  please come!


my apology to federico cenci and a horseshoe!

i owe facebook friend federico cenci an apology, although to be fair he owes me dinner when i go to siena.  fede showed up in winnetka because he wanted to spend three weeks working on his dissertation about fritz leiber, my grandfather.  three weeks is a long time to hang around my house so one day i suggested that he think of someplace he’d like to go for a day trip.

“how about niagra falls?”  he suggested.   “can we go there this afternoon?”

“fede, america’s a lot bigger than you think.  niagra falls would be a good three hours by plane and. .. oh, fede, don’t worry.  we’ll go someplace else.  what’s your second choice?”

“mount rushmore.”

oh, dear.  i finally suggested that if we were going to someplace for the day he should choose something in illinois.

“springfield,” he said, in a hushed tone.

we started off at six in the morning, got there by midafternoon.  and saw the following sign:

he wanted to stand on the overpass and have me drive under it and take the picture.  i thought he was insane.  i couldn’t understand his fascination with our state capital until we saw a dunkin’ donuts.  he cried out “homer simpson!”

“fede, you understand that this is NOT the springfield of the simpsons,”  i said.  “every state has got a springfield.”

he looked at me–i had just revealed that there was no santa claus, no tooth fairy, no easter bunny.  i had forever destroyed an essential innocence.  sure, he was thirty two but it was a blow.

i offer up this photograph, taken just a half hour ago, as part of this mea culpa.  i was informed by face to facebook friend #37 steve rahn that this is indeed THE springfield.  in fact, look at the high school:

i drove to springfield to meet melissa coulter, f2fb friend #36.  she works at the illinois institute of continuing legal education.  three years ago, she helped me with a one time production of a play i wrote.  we lost touch, but i wish we were neighbors because she’s unbelievably cool.  we were at the westwinds lounge in springfield, a den of incredible taxidermy.

she told me that one must order the horseshoe.

a horseshoe is a burger with bread, meat, cheese and on top of that, french fries.  every restaurant in springfield has its own version and there’s not a piece of parsley or lettuce or any other green stuff to be found.  luckily, the westwind lounge where we dined was just four blocks from the memorial hospital which bills itself as “first in cardiac care”.  i’m feeling a bit, ahem, oversized.

melissa was planning an evening with her husband–ethan, their four year old, is spending the night at his aunt’s house.  my recipe for a date night:

1.  a trip to victoria’s secret

2.  a package of pepperidge farm mint milano cookies

3.  a bottle of champagne

happy valentine’s day, melissa!

next up:  i might have a recipe for a date night, but steve rahn’s got a recipe for a perfect horseshoe with bechamel sauce!  and what he’s taught me about surviving reversals of fortune. . . .


how to stay out of the police blotter from my f2fb friend winnetka current

today i had lunch with the woman i consider my mom.  she didn’t raise me.  she didn’t birth me.  she is far too young to be my mom.  but i still think of her that way, much as i considered vivian eastman my mom.  face to facebook friend #34 suzanne timble and i talked about my tallahassee trip and some things going on in her life and we were so engrossed that i didn’t even remember to take out the camera.

but.  . . .

laura michaels from the winnetka currents newspaper came to the house to interview me about the face to facebook project.  i explained that my new years resolution is to meet every single one of my facebook friends and get to know them a little better.  then we made a startling discovery:  i’m actually friends with the winnetka current newspaper.  how can you have a satisfying and meaningful friendship with a newspaper?  can you ask it to lunch?  can you get its opinion on that no good low down boyfriend of yours?

then i decided to go all barbara walters on laura michaels, who is all i’ve seen besides newsprint of f2fb friend #35 and she has some really interesting things to tell us about, including how to stay out of that police blotter!

tomorrow, i’m just like willie nelson. .. . on the road again!  for an agoraphobic i sure do get around!  i would love a day in bed with a “migraine” and hulu.com but instead. . ..


damn, f2fb #33 friend writes out my tramp stamp!

mike castagna (face to facebook friend #3) says about a particular, ahem, mutual lady friend that a new species would have to be developed in the event that they were the only two humans left because he would never do it with her.  there are a few gentlemen who make me think that the chimpanzees would have to take over the world if we were the only two humans left after skynet’s forces crush john connor’s resistance. . . i’m sure there’s a few guys that look at me and think “could donkeys create a bicameral government or is it going to have to be dolphins?”

my friend robbie thapa says that if he ever decides to make love to a woman, it’s gotta be me, gwen stefani or lady gaga.  in the meantime, he’s making a vow that he won’t be having any serious relationships for five years.  he’s devoting himself to his career, to having fun, to being about himself.   he’s a very happy dude.  i love seeing that!

nepal is a place i think i’d like to go to if i were completely brave.  he showed me pictures that make me think it’s the most beautiful place on earth.

he also talked about the very tragic story of crown prince dipendra killing his father, mother and seven other members of his family in 2001.   dipendra was upset that he was not allowed to marry the woman he loved.  the woman he loved, devyani rana, was considered too common.   one of robbie’s relatives was the ambassador to india who was charged with the painful task of questioning devyani when she fled to india after the massacre.  devyani married a member of a royal indian family.

robbie has been in the united states as a resident since he was nineteen and he works as an interior designer.   he showed me what i’m going to get as my tramp stamp although i’ve always been a little nervous about this tattoo thing. .. i’ve always thought my first tattoo would be the longitude and latitude of where joseph and eastman were born. .. just like one of angelina’s tats.

so i have to ask you. .. .


face to facebook safely home!

i am home safe!!!!  i nearly kissed the ground when i reached chicago but there was a fair chance that my mouth would end up frozen and, just like the referee in the 1967 championship game between the packers and the cowboys, i’d rip my lip apart trying to get back up.

today i’m learning conversational nepalese from my friend robbie thapa.  and i’m reflecting on the face to facebook friends trip to tallahassee.  here is one minute out of a forty five minute talk that i taped of justin, my father.   i think it’s very poignant.  it will be what i try to remember instead of the chaotic last ten minutes when he declared me to be a super conman.

i am so grateful to be home.


escape from stalag talahassee

this morning  woke up with the plan that i would pack and slip out of the guest room.  unfortunately, barbara has left for work.  justin is drinking a beer to calm himself down and he has been talking for the last hour and a half.  i’m waiting for his research assistant to pick him up.  justin really liked the computer camera and talked for forty five minutes but i don’t think you want to see the whole thing and i can’t figure out how to download a one minute clip that is really quite poignant.

 

i am so close to escape. . . . and i’m not scared of airplanes.  they get you the hell out of situations.

p.s. i was making my escape because he was getting a bit hostile, and in fact, the sweetest thing then happened:  the building manager ursula said “hey, just let me drive you to the airport” when i asked her how to get a cab.  she went to get her car.  justin came down to the lobby, in full fury.  he declared that he had finally figured out what i am–a superconman and that he has become a superconman detector.  he then started trying to shove me against the wall.  ursula showed up in her car and we went outside.  he tried to get her to agree to help him against this superconman.  she was completely baffled but hustled me into the car.  we left him shaking his fist at us.  it was very very sweet for her to drive me to the airport.  sometimes the kindness of strangers is very very very important.  thank you ursula!!!  now i just have four hours of reading the national enquirer, ok, life and style, people and the globe before i can get on a plane.  . . . . .


what fresh hell?

travel is flexibility.  life is flexibility.  strength only comes with flexibility.  these are lessons i need to give myself to.

i didn’t have much luck at the ticket counter of us airways in tallahassee.  in fact, there was only one dude behind the counter and he said “you gotta call the airlines, i don’t handle this stuff” and wasn’t the slightest bit interested in my quivering lip and my tale of family emergencies.

then i called while reggie said “hey, you gotta be flexible.  i spent my twenty first birthday stuck in an airport”

reggie was right–got a us airways rep on the line and you would have thought i was asking to have us airways provide me with a parade of elephants to escort me back to chicago.  i came back to the apartment in defeat.  but also, i came back because i had accidentally left with the apartment spare key.

barbara left to take casey to the airport around twelve thirty and from there, barbara went to her office.  i am here with justin until barbara’s expected return at seven thirty.  he has been on the phone for the past hour with his research assistant.  he is explaining to him as i write that i am an example of what plato meant when he said “if you want to catch a thief you have to use a thief”. . . i will not correct him that it is calimachus who said “being a thief myself i recognize the tracks of a thief” which is really what he wants to say.

tomorrow i will aim to get back to chicago.  i am seeing facebook friend robbie thapa on wednesday afternoon, suzanne timble on thursday and on friday i travel to springfield to see melissa coulter and steve rahn.  then i return to indianapolis on sunday to see jay schwandt.  i am learning so much about packing too–go lite!

and i’m also figuring out that i have some real good friends.  even the ones i don’t see that much!  i had only seen reggie once before in person–hey, when somebody is deployed to baghdad it’s not like you get to take them to lunch and shopping all that often!


f2fb learning a new trick

captain reggie and i headed for the airport.  he had a flight to savannah.  i had a flight to chicago via charlotte but it’s for tuesday.  i can’t get the w hotel to give me an extension on either reggie or my room.  and the double tree is full.  a dentists’ convention coming into town.  or maybe they don’t like me. . . .

the ticket i bought to come down to tallahassee was the first one i had ever bought on my own.  and now i’m about to do something new–change an airline ticket.

travel means flexibility.  and i am learning flexibility from reggie!  wish me luck on getting out of here because i don’t know where else to go but home.