February 6, 2011

thank you f2fb #32 captain reggie!

By arlynnpresser

applications for the captain reggie gholston fan club are being accepted now!

i met captain reggie through f2fb friend #4 winston chang.  winston and reggie went to west point together.  reggie is 28 years old, has served in baghdad twice, and was part of the 82nd airborne division.  i say thank you to reggie every day because what he does ensures that we are safe.

i had cancelled every facebook friend visit because my father justin is really having a rough time.  he can’t stop talking.  in fact, as i am writing this, justin is standing over me telling me about the history of catholicism, graham greene, bimbos, early greek thinking about homosexuality, wittgenstein, and his method of teaching.  he says he wants to make a final confession to me.  it’s as if his brain was laid open and splattered onto his tongue:  he must give voice to every thought as it drops.

reggie had planned to fly in from savannah, georgia where he’s stationed and we were going to drive up to huntsville and then over to atlanta.  in the airport, as i picked him up, i quickly explained that there was a change of plans. . . .

reggie is exactly the man you want to have with you in an emergency.  he’s brave, quiet, steady, and steadying to everyone around him.  the four of us went to lunch, walked through the tallahassee cemetery and we’re going to watch the super bowl together.

reggie leaves tomorrow and i am grateful to him.  he didn’t want to do a video today because he said he wants to do something else with me:  he’s going to take me parachuting!  of course, he’s had lots of experiences (twenty) with the 82d airborne.  he said that when they do jumps, the army gives you a small bag in case you want to throw up.  otherwise, the etiquette rule is that you open your jumpsuit, and throw up into your left shoulder.  then zip yourself back up again.

jeez, if i can go up in an airplane and then jump out, i can do anything–and i trust reggie to show me how.

so sometime later this year, we’re going to take facebook friend sammie scruggs (reggie’s cousin) up in an airplane and fly!  sammie goes first, of course.  i’ll be the one gripping reggie’s hand so hard that his metacarpals break!

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February 5, 2011

f2fb #31 a sister can be a very good friend

By arlynnpresser

i hit a wall yesterday.  justin wore me out.  there’s some sort of drug interaction going on.  he calls it “academititis” insofar as he says that he has been trained to keep talking for a full hour for classes so he is unable to help himself except by talking in one hour chunks.  yesterday, in a moment of unbelievable cruelty, i said i had stage four cancer and that my sons had been dead for three weeks.  just to get him to stop talking for a minute.  i really feel like a jerk for doing that.  and besides, it didn’t work.

finally i told him to be quiet for five minutes and let me talk.  i did.  and then he got furious because i was talking about emotional issues.  so we agreed that he would stay quiet for five minutes if i chose a topic that was of suitable academic interest.  i chose the tudor regime.  catherine of aragon, the seymour brothers being beheaded, lady jane grey–i lasted three minutes.  but to his credit he stayed pretty quiet.  he asked one question about the chronology of anne boelyn’s beheading and jane seymour’s engagement announcement.

casey (oh, gosh, facebook friend #31) came into town and we are both worried about justin.  i am surprised at how patient she is with him, how wonderful she manages him, and how much real affection i feel for her.

last night and this morning i got a lot of encouraging messages saying keep going. . . i am reminded that my facebook friend william clark, who has been dead for quite some time, undertook a road trip with merriweather lewis.  and he didn’t know what all stuff he was going to face and overcome.  and i need to buck up because one day this year i’m going to be kidnapped by pirates while jetskiing from korea (to see john choie) to the phillipines (to see mark bitango rosario and his family).  i can’t be a crybaby now.

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February 5, 2011

f2fb might be the stupidest idea yet

By arlynnpresser

my new years resolution is to have “face time” with every facebook friend i have.  including the facebook friends i’ve met only once.  including the facebook friends i play scrabble with online and have never had an expectation of meeting.  including the facebook friends i accepted friendship requests from because i wanted to be polite and i have no idea who they are.  including the facebook friend who is my dad. … .

my father and mother put me up for adoption when i was three years old.  the children’s home and aid society of chicago placed me with the patrick family.  that didn’t work out very well and i left that family for some foster homes before i simply ended up dropping out of high school and starting at the first college that would accept me without a diploma.  i tracked down my father when i was twenty five.  he lives in tallahassee with his wife barbara.  i have a half sister casey.  she was born just a few months before i met barbara and justin.  she is now an actress in new york.

during january i did a great job with my resolution–staying on target, knowing that there will be some trips overseas that will eat up a lot of time, like mumbai, seoul, taipei, italy.  but i have looked forward to it all because i’m fifty years old and my kids are out of the house and this might be the last time i’m free to do this.

but this is february, when most people give up on their resolutions.  i came to tallahassee thinking i would see justin (face to facebook friend #30) and casey (#31) is to join us.  i was going to rent a car and meet up with dale morgan, the smart philosophy student i went to college with and have never seen since graduation.  with jonathan boyd, whom i have never met but play online scrabble with.  with sammie scruggs, who saw my picture and sent a request and i said yes, thinking “uh, who are you?”  and with sarah roberts who sang at a wedding and we had a really nice conversation and we promised to keep in touch and we friended each other and then. .. . ignored each other.  i have had to cancel all these trips because my father is not in a position that i can leave him on his own.  barbara is out of town.  casey is just getting into town.

and i have gained five pounds.  so i can’t even say that i’m doing a good job with the new years eve resolutions i’ve made before.

was this a stupid idea?  to think i could meet over three hundred friends in the course of a year?  or do all things worth doing have to appear to be impossible? i have worn a bracelet most of my adult life.  it is inscribed with the legson kayira motto “i will try”.  i have to decide whether i will now.

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February 4, 2011

cruelty: i’ve got it and i’m paying for it

By arlynnpresser

i came down to tallahassee all self-congratulatory.  i got through tsa, i got on the plane, i didn’t squeal during take off, i sprinted across charlotte airport to make my connecting flight, i said “i’m a world traveler” and then i swaggered into tallahassee.

justin picked me up in his white volkswagon beetle.  he got lost on the way back to his condo.  several times the sort of lost where he wandered into the left turn lane without a signal and then sort of stopped and announced “no, i want to turn right”. . . . i wanted to call either of the pilots of the day and say “excuse me, could you drive?”

and then i listened.  and listened.  i timed last night a forty minute monologue which was only terminated with me saying “yes” in response to a question.  i started the stop watch again.  twenty three minutes.  but then i had to go to the bathroom.  today, we took a tour of the campus.  we went to his office.  he told me again and again that the pictures a man keeps in his office explain the man:  and he walked me through almost every photograph before i excused myself to cry in the bathroom.  then i returned.  and he told me that he wanted to tell me about other photographs.  i returned to the bathroom.

chomsky.  linguistics.  scuba diving.  particulars of french civilization.  things he had discovered about sex when he was sixteen years old.  medical advances.  his teaching assistants.  television shows he had watched.  dreams he had had.  if i interrupted with a question or an aside, he would either tell me that it was his turn to talk or that he would get to my question later.  i finally gave up.  we got lost on the campus of the college where he teaches.  we returned to the condo.  i went to cry in the guest bedroom.  he’s lost his wallet and he’s got some physical problems that are troubling.  i asked him if he talks nonstop with barbara, his wife who is now in orlando, or with his daughter casey and he said no, but that he trusts me with vital information about himself.  all in all, he clocked nine and a half hours before i did something so cruel i am quite astonished with myself.  i interrupted him with an announcement that i had stage four cancer and that both joseph and eastman had been dead for three weeks.  i pray that i have not tempted fates.  i confessed my lie.  he simply took up where i had interrupted him.  he lasted eleven hours before i announced i had to go to bed.  i locked the bedroom door.  he stood outside and talked for a while longer.  i put in ear plugs and went to sleep.

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February 4, 2011

f2fb #30 my actual dad justin

By arlynnpresser

john wayne said that courage was being scared to death but saddling up anyway.  i guess today was my john wayne day.

i am afraid of flying.  i’m not sure whether i’m more scared of dying in a flaming aluminum tube of destruction or of having a panic attack so furious that i end up as a lead on fox news.  but if i’m going to make my new years resolution and meet every single facebook friend i have, i will need to get on a plane.  to seoul.  to taipei.  to mumbai.  to istanbul.  to mexico city.  and to homer, alaska.

i figured i’d start small.  tallahassee.  my facebook friend is justin, who is my dad.  he has been having some cancer issues and he asked me to see him.  that’s unusual in itself.  but this morning i went to o’hare, stepped on a plane to charlotte north carolina and got on a plane from charlotte to tallahassee to see justin.  i didn’t panic when the kid seated behind me kicked my back.  i looked out of the window sometimes.  i raced across the charlotte airport and found my gate.  i know these are the things that everybody does every day.  the proof is that the airports were packed.

but now i’ve done it too!  i’m starting my journey.

justin is not feeling well at all.  the cancer has metastasized.  we talked tonight about a lot of things, including our bucket lists.  here’s his:

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February 2, 2011

f2fb early valentine pictures

By arlynnpresser

i met tao zhang about ten years ago when we were both working on a pta benefit.  at the time, tao was just starting to explore the notion of being a photographer.  today, he’s one of the most sought after photographers for weddings, christenings, graduations, and other important occasions.  he has a particular whimsical and personal style that exactly matches whoever and whatever he’s photographing.  i was talking to him about the strange journey he has made from being a radio announcer in china to a gentleman of the north shore.

and he’s happy!  really happy with the career that he’s developed.  but we couldn’t just talk–that would be a waste of a perfectly talented photographer!

we went to the stairwell of his building and took a few shots.  i’m wearing my carharts which are absolutely essential for this weather!  tao also does photography for many north shore magazines.  he’s a real treasure!

you can see more of his work or even book a special occasion picture (how about an early valentine?) by going to http://lensworkstudio.com!

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February 2, 2011

a snow day outing

By arlynnpresser

tao zhang and i had an appointment i was determined i would not miss!  so out i went into the tundra, meeting pam koster along the way and she agreed to take this video:

later today, tao will send me the photos he took and i’ll post them here!  along with a video of him talking about how he turned disaster into great happiness!

 

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February 1, 2011

darn it! friendship, deactivation and the MC KATO concert

By arlynnpresser

every winter, there comes a time when weather prognosticators get their groove on.  and an outpouring of forecasts, each more apocalyptic than the other, scares the bejesus out of chicagoans.  today, the general consensus is that the upcoming snowstorm will be worse than, ahem, the snowstorm of 1967.  the winnetka community house has already announced it will be closed.  ohare airport, out of which i was to fly off to tallahassee, is on full ground stop for tomorrow.  and mc kato has been forced to postpone the concert he was to do at my house.   his dj and the rest of his posse are going to try again later this month.  it will be the “welcome back for a little while” concert for my face to facebook project.  sometimes i am reminded that friendship requires flexibility.  especially in the face of the elements.

i thought this past weekend that a friend had defriended me.  and further, when i tried to email her, i thought i was being blocked.  i felt awful.  a little rejected.  a little concerned about whatever i had done to have her not want to count me as a friend anymore.  then i did something totally retro–i called her.  she said that no, she was still my friend and i wasn’t being blocked but that she had deactivated her account for a while.  the reasons are not for discussion here, but i hadn’t known you can deactivate and then reactivate and then presumably redeactivate again.  i  learned from f2fb #4 winston chang that many people on active duty in the military deactivate their accounts so that if they are, say, held hostage, their captors can’t use information gleaned from their page in order to harm them or their families.

and this is not to say that i haven’t been defriended because i have been by one person since this enterprise got started.

regardless of the weather, i’m fighting my way onto the first flight out of chicago to tallahassee so that i can see my facebook friend justin leiber, who is also my father.

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February 1, 2011

f2fb #29 MC KATO and i go blind

By arlynnpresser

today is the release of MC KATO’s new album glissando.  he will be performing at my house at a face to facebook launch party!  seven o’clock and yes, you are invited!  you can also pick up or download his songs on itunes today.  yippee!

i have made airline reservations with expedia for my trip to tallahassee.  i don’t see my dad very often, mostly when he goes to his class reunions for the lab school here in chicago.  so i was really surprised when he asked me to visit.  then i found out he’s been having a bit of a dust up with his wife barbara.  yesterday, he called to give me the entire play by play over the course of an hour.  he wants me to “observe” the situation.  i’m thinking the most placid part of the weekend will be driving up to huntsville alabama to have dinner with jonathan boyd and his family.

my reaction to justin’s call was to go blind in my right eye.  this happens about once a year and is the opening volley for a full on migraine.  i start off by saying “oh, this has happened before, i know what it is” and twenty minutes later i’m crying and thinking i’m having a stroke.  sometimes i get so overwrought that i call an ambulance, but yesterday i decided that if i was going to die it would be preferable to the embarrassment of e.m.t.s reassuring me that everything was going to be all right while jabbing me with needles–besides, there was ice on the front steps and one of them was bound to take a fall.

so i practiced self-medication: two ativan, six ibuprofen, and six pepcids.  repeat as necessary.  the purpose is not to restore my sight but to make me so relaxed i don’t care.

 

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January 31, 2011

f2fb #28 brings strange consequences

By arlynnpresser

tom evans is a member, as i am, of the winnetka northfield rotary club.  he marks out his office at the caribou coffee every morning along with three other regulars.  he does something related to health benefits and, after he lost his position at northwestern university here in chicago, he took a job at loras college in dubuque.  he spent the weekdays in iowa and then drove home for the weekend–but always managed to be in the “office” on saturday and sunday mornings when i came in for coffee.

you know how you ALWAYS know when one of your friends sells avon or amway or is doing a walkathon for irritable bowel syndrome?  oddly, i didn’t find out that tom is a reliv representative until very recently.  and yet, it is something he’s very passionate about. so there are now three cans of powdered formula that are in my kitchen right now–the “classic”, the “innergize” and the “fiberstore”.  i’m to take a little of each, put it in a glass and stir it up with water.  tom said i could use vodka instead but didn’t recommend it.

theodore kalagaris (the dude who devised the reliv system) was told by his parents to “be ashamed to die before you score a victory for mankind” and he devoted himself to serving others, mostly through medicine.  i wish i were as selfless.  and i wish i weren’t so shameless that when tom described the variety of medical woes that could be fixed with reliv i didn’t really focus until he got to weight loss.  if i am five pounds lighter at the end of the month–well, let’s just say i’m ready for filming the infomercial!!!

in other news, after the face to facebook concert tomorrow night by mc kato (yes, you’re invited! just email me for details if you don’t remember) i swing out of chicago and begin an arduous journey to . . . warm, sunny florida.  nobody said this job was going to be easy!

my father justin is there and my half sister casey is coming down as well.  it’s a little unnerving because it will be the first time i have gone to see him since. .. . ever.

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