Tag Archives: mike coglan

May 30, 2011

i receive a laying on of hands and prayers in kearney, missouri

By arlynnpresser

the hottie you dated all four years of school and broke up with and dated and broke up with and it would have kept up like that for the rest of your life if one of you hadn’t graduated and moved to italy.  the roommate who always had someone sleeping over (awkward!) but who came down to the police station to bail you out for that unfortunate incident and so you didn’t have to tell your parents.  everybody from your soccer team, the choir, the band you started in the basement of the hardware store.  you knew their names, their favorite beer, and whether it was wise to copy their homework.  before facebook, these people disappeared until the tenth reunion and then it was a competition as to who was fatter and who had a better job.*

some people you went to school with are now part of your friends list but they aren’t the same people you would have put on the friends list at the time.

i’m not sure which one made the friendship request but mike coglan (f2fb #137) and i were in the same graduating class at north central college.  the entire student body was less than a thousand so i figured i had to know him. i was pretty sure he was the dude who sat behind me in economics for three semesters.  on facebook, we exchanged a few stories of the good old days, compared notes on what we had been doing for the past twenty five years–mike is a minister in kearney, missouri and i raise my sons and write books in winnetka, illinois–and then we got down to business–

online scrabble.  i’m addicted.  mike’s better than me.

at one point, mike mentioned that the economy was heading south, fast, in kearney.  a lot of his parishioners were hurting.  i suggested help in the only way i know how–what if i wrote an arcadia publishing company history of kearney and mike’s congregation sold the books as a fundraiser?

three short weeks later, i drove eight hours to kearney with my assistant f2fb #20 charlie seymour.   at kearney’s rotary club i spoke about the book and about how i was looking for help from the community to find old photographs, documents, papers that would help me develop a complete picture of the town.  charlie sat in the back taking notes and leaned over to mike.

“what was arlynn like when you two were in college?”  charlie asked.

“i have no idea,”  mike said.  “i don’t remember her at all.”

i was ready to pack my bags that night!  we finished the book**.

mike and his family opened themselves up to me.  mike and i still play scrabble.  he also talks to me about his relationship with God and my relationship with God.  if someone were to ask me where i go to church i would most likely say that my congregation is the kearney covenant church and that i don’t go to services often, which is to say i have only been once.

but mike and his wife laura (f2fb #138) prayed and talked with me one morning this week.  laura asked me to consider how i would feel if one of my children–joseph or eastman–came to me and said “i want your love, i have you say you love me, but i feel i am unworthy of your love”.   wouldn’t i feel such pain for them?  when i thought about that, i started to cry and so did she.  mike made himself busy with finding tissue paper and said that under no circumstances was he crying too.  God’s love is a gift and it hurts Him to have someone not think themselves worthy of taking it.  thi

laura, me and mike coglan


as i got ready to leave the coglans, the entire family–mike, laura, ian, and brenna–had me sit down.  each of them put their hands on me and each of them made an individual prayer for my safety, health, happiness, and progress on this year’s journey.  four distinct prayers that i might be BOLD and unafraid.  that i would take the chances i have spent so many years being afraid to take.  and they asked for God’s PROTECTION that i might be safe and confident of my safety.

when i got into the car i felt transformed.  and i had only one last thing to finish up in kearney before i could clear out–i had to get deputized by the fire chief.  after all, i have a lot of talents to offer this town!

*romy and michele’s high school reunion is such a great movie!  i think i have to get it on netflix right now!

**http://www.arcadiapublishing.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=9780738578095

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March 27, 2011

f2fb #83 and the gift he received from his first wife’s mother

By arlynnpresser

my regular religious service consists of reading facebook friend mike coglan’s emailed sermons (today’s was about the 1962 world series), barging into catholic churches to light candles for my boys, and begging the Lord’s foriveness for everything when i’m having an anxiety attack or when the plane is taxiing down the runway. i think of myself as a seeker but i haven’t put enough concerted effort into it. f2fb #83 larry barkley has always struck me as having followed a path of his own design.

larry and i were first introduced through his second wife suzanne who was a rotarian. after they broke up and suzanne moved to colorado, i didn’t see as much of larry. but whenever i do, he has a good smile and kind words. he’s either got peace of mind or really great drugs!

he was raised catholic, flirted with baptists, and was introduced to the principles of the unity church by the mother of his first wife. usually, mother in law’s aren’t noted for the joy they bring into a man’s life. but larry was open to the gift. and he is now a member of the unity church. i was supposed to go to a sunday service with him and with f2fb #66 fadel haowat-halliwell who has also been a seeker. we were going to meet at the church at 9:15.

i was getting some caffeine at caribou when i saw f2fb #28 tom evans and i invited him to join us. tom is ordinarily a congregationalist but something today urged him to accept adventure. we drove downtown to the unity church at 1925 west thorne avenue. larry and tom had seen each other in winnetka but had never been introduced:

in a room off the main sanctuary was an exhibit of pictures of hearts created by the artist arianne vota smeets. the exhibit, called aorta transformata, was deeply moving. i saw three pictures that i think were directly about me.

i have had my heart broken but i am no different from anyone else in that respect.

i am often scared but i am no different from anyone else.

my heart is under construction. i think everyone else is like that too.

it has been said that sunday morning is the most segregated time in america–and that’s supposed to be a comment about how congregations are often of the same race, the same orientation. but this church was clearly welcoming to all races, genders, orientations. and the service was one of joy and love.

one time my facebook friend mike coglan asked me to imagine how i would feel, how i would think, how i would be different, if i truly believed that God loved me exactly as i am, even with every fault and weakness considered charming or essential or forgivable. i could only sustain that feeling for a few seconds before crying. and that’s how i felt in this church.

afterwards i found out that the heart pictures are for sale and can be purchased–go to votasmeets.com to see more of them. also, if you want more information on the church, go to their website at UnityChicago.org and they believe they are a church of light, love and laughter.

larry has found a special place to worship. his fiancee ramona is part of the congregation as well and i hope that i will be invited to the friday night services which sound like the services of the nineteenth century shakers.

larry, thank you friend for sharing this part of you with me! and sorry, fadel. i turned my cell phone on after i entered the church and forgot to turn it back on until i got home!

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