Tag Archives: richard furniss

in order to be a star, i let a label executive touch my stomach

it’s everybody’s dream to be a star and i’ve heard about that whole “casting couch” thing.  but this guy, john hill, f2fb #132, just wanted to touch my stomach.  with his wife watching.  so weird.

john is an independent music label executive, focusing mostly on artist development. he’s worked with some of my facebook friends, such as vince p. (#57), mc kato (#49), carla kosak (#127), richard “mop” furniss (#53) and reggie gholston (#32).  he’s also worked with many grammy winning stars and has an impressive collection of awards for his own book shelves.

john had just come back from a humanitarian mission to haiti and was swamped with work, but he made time for me at the home he shares with his wife christie and their two children.  i had driven four hours from council bluffs and was very ready for my audition.  john said i had to learn to breathe first before i could learn to sing. christie said she’d be happy to tape the whole thing.

john was originally trained in opera which makes him able to spot talent in others–he knows a good voice.  he was polite–he is that unfailingly–but i don’t think i’m getting a recording conract.  it’s because my stomach is, well, i haven’t got abs like john hill.  he tried again to show me how singing works.

john and christie met when john was touring with r. kelly.  john doesn’t want to tour while his children are young.  his greatest joy is being a father and that joy has allowed him to better appreciate his own parents.

“your parents mold who you are, whether they’re there or not,”  john says.  “i grew up in a cosby family.  my dad was a chef, so if you’re hungry get ready!  and my mom works at a drop out recovery center for chicago public schools.  we came out here because my wife’s family is here but we came to enjoy the simple life.”  here’s a poem he wrote for his father.

i had such a wonderful time and i realized that the way schedules work, i would never have gotten a chance to see john and christie–or to try out for that recording contract–without this project!  take a look at your friends list.  is there somebody you haven’t seen in forever?

christie is expecting their third child in october

the museum of sex . . . and an invitation

the museum of sex. THE MUSEUM OF SEX!!!! how much better could it be? i got off the plane at laguardia and told the cab driver “museum of sex” which, as it happens is at the corner of twenty seventh street and fifth avenue. my friend richard “mop” furniss works there. he and i once worked on a music video and he got his nickname from having just a wonderful set of hair. we haven’t seen each other in forever. the museum had a lot of latex. lots of videos of women moaning. clamps. plyers. pictures.

as we toured the four floors of the museum, i realized that i was on complete overload. too much information, too much sensory stuff. made me think all fifteen year old boys should be required to work at the museum because it would certainly keep them a lot calmer for the next ten years. some of the stuff was weird, some of it was gross, some of it was kinda fun, and some of it was oddly beautiful.

mop says he’s got a gig on the norwegian cruise line for a little bit and he’s going to start his own internet television station. i’m excited for him. he works a lot of freelance jobs.

we went to the gift shop and i bought a set of hearts that i thought were stick on tattoos but are made of something more substantial. like velvet. i’m not sure what i’m supposed to do with them. there were a lot of condoms in different containers and lubricants both silicon and non-silicon. plus some vibrators but i’m certainly not going to buy a vibrator in mop’s presence. i felt like everybody in the world is having a lot more sex than i am or could ever hope to have.

on the other hand. .. . mop revealed that he knows my mysterious facebook friend inda loop. she’s a black female rapper from manhattan. she has huge breasts, great smile, fantastic braids. i have no idea how i ended up being her facebook friend. i get to meet her tomorrow. . . i’m going to an actual, real, no doubt about it new york nightclub. i might have to take a nap first to stay up that late. . . .