i spent yesterday acting a little like a chihuahua huddled up under the sofa during the thunderstorm. the skies were clear, there wasn’t a peep from the heavens, and all was right with the world . . . except for my house.
i had a day long anxiety attack thinking about going to california. there will be friends–allen, jose, candice, howard, and others. some people i’ve known for a long time, some i haven’t seen in forever, and some i haven’t ever met. it will be fun. it will be crazy. there will be surprises.
and i’m scared. i think the hypnosis has worn off. so i will put into place my emergency airplane ritual:
1. cardio exercise until i am exhausted
repeat as necessary.
still, there was one person i could see today that would put me to rights: markie carlson gekas is a toy and gift shop owner i have known for nearly fifteen years. we shared a lunch outside and talked about our children, our mutual friends, and our aspirations. she has a business that has done well, but this economy has taught her that she will not be able to retire. i shoved away the worries i have about my future. this has been a difficult year for EVERYBODY.
still, i noticed i relaxed enough so that i could come home and pack the bag. including the lucky flight plan, the fiance, two rosaries, and one evil eye protector. it’s a wonder i have room for my laptop and a change of clothes.
question is, what happens if i freak and can’t get on the plane?