i spent yesterday acting a little like a chihuahua huddled up under the sofa during the thunderstorm. the skies were clear, there wasn’t a peep from the heavens, and all was right with the world . . . except for my house.
i had a day long anxiety attack thinking about going to california. there will be friends–allen, jose, candice, howard, and others. some people i’ve known for a long time, some i haven’t seen in forever, and some i haven’t ever met. it will be fun. it will be crazy. there will be surprises.
and i’m scared. i think the hypnosis has worn off. so i will put into place my emergency airplane ritual:
1. cardio exercise until i am exhausted
repeat as necessary.
still, there was one person i could see today that would put me to rights: markie carlson gekas is a toy and gift shop owner i have known for nearly fifteen years. we shared a lunch outside and talked about our children, our mutual friends, and our aspirations. she has a business that has done well, but this economy has taught her that she will not be able to retire. i shoved away the worries i have about my future. this has been a difficult year for EVERYBODY.
still, i noticed i relaxed enough so that i could come home and pack the bag. including the lucky flight plan, the fiance, two rosaries, and one evil eye protector. it’s a wonder i have room for my laptop and a change of clothes.
question is, what happens if i freak and can’t get on the plane?
June 4th, 2011 at 12:01 am
You’ll do it. You’ve got a solid plan and ritual; just keep implementing it and keep moving until you’re on that plane. Hang in there…you’ve come this far.
June 4th, 2011 at 12:05 pm
somehow i feel if i get to the halfway mark–168 friends by july one–i can give myself a party. in fact, if i do, will you come down from madison???
June 4th, 2011 at 12:14 am
Cory’s right. You’ve done it before and you will do it again. Look at all the places you’ve been this year! And aside from a tornado or two, everything’s been alright. You’ve gone, you’ve had a good time, you’ve laughed, you’ve cried, you’ve healed, you’ve perpetuated healing, and you’ve come through with flying colors. This trip will be no different. It’s all good. Besides, there are many praying for safe travels and mercy on your journey. You’ve got all your stuff, AND God on your side. If God is for you, who can be against you?
Blessings to you,
June 4th, 2011 at 12:06 pm
blessings, bonnie, i really am feeling quite blessed by the friends i have. as i was writing to cory, i feel somehow that july one, friend 168 would be a great milestone. if i have a party would you please come????