no drugs, no weapons, maybe one too many pairs of reading glasses and lip gloss

i never thought of canada as the sort of country that engaged in torture and life long imprisonment for tourists.  but it’s a brutal world out there and why should canadians hold back?
i took the boy scouts–ben and brandon–with me to montreal to visit f2fb friends #207 and 208  joe winer and karl thelen.  we flew into albany and rented a car for the drive up north.  now, i would have thought i should just fly directly into montreal but ben persuaded me that montreal’s airport was just like kabul’s–risky and no vending machines.  besides, he had gotten a great deal.
driving up to the border, i had just a moment of mental inventory:
1.  drugs?  just advil, pepcid, zantac, and my prescription ativan
2.  weapons?  uh, blistering sarcasm doesn’t count
3.  contraband?  does lip gloss count?
then we had our midnight express moment–
jeez, the canadians turn out to be pretty quiet and even a bit apologetic as far as that water boarding goes!  onward to montreal!
moral for me to remember:
1.  no joking with anybody in a uniform
2.  words to avoid besides the obvious drugs, guns, bombs, and terrorist:  cult
3.  antipersperant!  for travel, i’ve been using med e tate by dermadoctor.  it is in packets that i can take on carryon and it really works!

2 responses to “no drugs, no weapons, maybe one too many pairs of reading glasses and lip gloss

  • John Lafond

    I had my own Canadian border experience. There was a line that I was supposed to stop at that I didn’t see until I had crossed it a little bit. I was sent to a trouble area, with flashing red lights. The Canadians searched my car and where perplexed by the midden of vitamin supplements, (drugs?) unmarked videotapes of college volleyball games, (pornography?) and even a Bigfoot costume (just ?) in my trunk. The interrogation went on for a while. But they were very polite and the rubber hose never came out.

    • arlynnpresser

      oh, gosh, i hadn’t even thought of the rubber hose possibility! i was nearly in tears but kept remembering that they would have me on camera and that it would only make it worse!!! much love to you from the north!

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