the day started a little early, two a.m. with a text message telling me that i had to delete a post from early july. my facebook friend had finally read about himself. there was no picture, no video in the post about him–we had seen each other for less than ten minutes because he had been ill and unable to spend any time with me. i’ve had people say “don’t use that video” or “i’m about to tell you something, don’t blog about it” and i always honor that. i revise for people who send me an email telling me i misspelled their favorite charity or could i not use that picture and could i reword that wonderful story they shared about their ex-husband. . .
then there was the second text.
i got up and checked facebook. there was a message. everything, my entire blog, it said, had to be deleted. now. i was puzzled. i didn’t think i had said anything bad about him. and most importantly, events that occur in my life are things i can write about–his suggestion that everything first must be approved by him seemed weird. pictures, video, i understand maybe wanting to have ownership–but my experience of my interaction with him? if i worked by his logic, i don’t have 325 friends i have 325 editors. i went back to sleep. i’d delete everything as a favor to the friend when i woke up. which i did, but not before reading more texts from him–so many that my phone squeaked that if i wanted any further texts from this friend, i’d have to reply. which i was scared of doing. all of a sudden, winnetka didn’t feel safe. then a phone message. more of the same. what if this facebook friend got on a plane to chicago and confronted me?
my general bodyguard in the world–grzegorz krwaczyk–was getting married and i couldn’t call him for advice or muscle. but i figured–what would he do? and i think his advice would be “don’t call back, delete all identifying references in the post from three months back, and don’t reply to texts, defriend him, block him, now.” so i did.
who controls an interaction between friends? who is the person who has veto power over any public disclosure?
up until i ended up at st. hedwig’s church i was getting missives that i thought i should not respond to. i had deleted everything. but there was still a concern on my facebook friend’s part that google still listed our interaction. if he googled his name, he would still show up as one of my facebook friends. short of buying the google company, what could i do?
great thing about having converted to catholicism–i can keep up with when i’m supposed to kneel, when i’m supposed to stand and when i’m supposed to say “go cubs go!”
my facebook friend #225 is dorothy bloniarz but now she’s mrs. gzregorz krawczyck. my spelling is always off. i’ve known greg (americanized version of his name) for ten years. and i’ll be damned if i understand how many zzzz’s go into his name. the wedding was at st. hedgwig’s church and the reception in a fantasy palace far away. it could have been on the moon and the guests were like astronauts!
i might not have understood polish before the wedding, but i understood polish by the end of the toast! then we sat down to a beautiful meal. i was so enchanted by this place i do not want to leave. but i have to get to ohio by wednesday and michigan by thursday. i have booked the international leg of the journey and will publish it. the newly wed mr. and mrs. krawczyk hope to meet me on one of the asian legs of the journey. i am scared but then when am i not? maybe not when i’m taking my polish immersion lessons. . . with champagne! so to the newlyweds. . .
wielu lat w szczęściu i nagród!