friends for a reason friends for a season

the year is coming to a close and i am forced to concede that i will not see all of the 325 facebook friends i had last year at this time when i made the resolution.  but i’ve done a lot of interesting things and re/connected with a lot of friends. two of the most interesting episodes occurred yesterday.

f2fb friend #288 jeffrey jon smith is a documentary filmmaker who directed a movie called “the miracle” . . . joseph was in the film and it was shot so many years ago that i’m not sure joseph had facial hair.  well, he did but it had to be drawn in.  the miracle is about tekki lomnicki, a little person, who wanted a miracle at lourdes when she was much younger.  it’s directed in the style of an old-time hollywood movie.  the miracle has its own facebook page–the miracle movie–so i could have made the movie my friend.  instead, i made the director my friend.  we had only met once, at joseph’s audition.  jeffrey and i became facebook friends in part because the job of a mom of a young actor is to scope out the project and the people her children work with.  is it okay that i replayed the scene with joseph in it a few dozen times?

jeffrey teaches at both columbia college and facets film school in chicago. we talked a lot about what goes into making a movie! for jeffrey the miracle movie required a miracle--in health, finances, and endurance. sort of all the things we hope for a new year!

later when i went home i was visited by a woman who lives in a community near to winnetka.  she brought me christmas cookies.  she was apologetic that they were “late” christmas cookies but if someone’s going to bake for me, i figure she can bring me christmas cookies in july.  but i invited her in and that’s when she told me she was my f2fb friend #289.  i had to admit she had been on my list but i had thought she had defriended me.  instead, she had deactivated her account because of a stalker ex-husband.  in fact, she had become a bit paranoid about all sorts of things–linked in, pta parent rosters, the mail being delivered late or possibly not at all.

but she knew i had this project and she just wanted me to know it was nothing personal.   i told her that she would have to share “anonymous” with f2fb friends #88, #228, and #229 who all had their reasons for secrecy.

am i going to have a new year’s miracle in which all the rest of my facebook friends will bring me christmas cookies?  luckily, for my waistline, no.  there are friends who have moved, friends who’ve become fan pages (elmore leonard was, sigh, once a friend) and there’s even a few friends who aren’t even real people and they seem to get a lot of free iphones and restylane treatments.  some friends were friends because we were working together or went to school and now that doesn’t exist.  and then there’s this:  some of my friends want to keep a facebook friendship just that, a facebook friendship.

and some friends are for life!

4 responses to “friends for a reason friends for a season

  • Sigridur Magnusdottir

    Ah but imagine – you now know who your real friends are – facebook or otherwise. I have so enjoyed this journey with you Arlynn and thank you for your courage to take this sort of thing on. Not many of us would have done it (actually – none of us… seems to be in the “too hard basket”). Have an absolutely fantastic new year – whatever it is that you decide to do…. under a blanket… in times square…. at the north pole… be you, be happy and enjoy life and the love that I think flows all around you!

  • arlynnpresser

    sigridur! it’s lovely to hear from you! my new years resolution includes coming to iceland and, of course, losing the ten pounds i’ve gained this year!!!

  • Aden Moss

    “Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.: ~ Hal Borland

    Congratulations on a successful 2011. You’re a rock star in my book. Happy New Year!

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