on love, change, and that pesky habit of falling in love with someone and then wanting to change them. . .

facebook makes it possible to meet new friends we never would have expected to enjoy and f2fb friend #313 sara kolorowicz is definitely someone i wouldn’t have met without the help of facebook.  in part, it’s because she simply does not leave the house she shares with her parents.  without a job or school because of her agoraphobia, she survives on social security disability payments.

i also probably wouldn't get to meet her without facebook because frankly, sara is cool. she is what i wish i had been when i was twenty two--beautiful, honest, forthright and smart as hell. maybe if i dye my hair pink i have a shot at being a cool fifty one year old.

i felt honored that she invited me into her house.  it’s been quite some time since she’s allowed visitors.  oddly enough, she was engaged to a man from texas when we friended each other on facebook at the beginning of the year.  they met playing an online video game and their friendship turned to romance and from romance to an engagement.  he drove up ten times from texas, a twenty four hour marathon drivefest.  at first he was totally okay with sara’s life but then his desire to change her became more than the spirit of wanting the best for someone you love.   and that gets to be tricky–the line between wanting the best for someone you love and thinking that they have to change in order to be with you.

i like sara just the way she is.  i also hope one day she will be able to get out of her house, in part so that others can see how beautiful she is!  on the other hand, i have also introduced her via facebook to a video game designer.  . . that’s a job she can do from inside her castle walls!


5 responses to “on love, change, and that pesky habit of falling in love with someone and then wanting to change them. . .

  • lindaogborn

    I think youare both beautiful…I love her hair! If you ever run low on FB friends, I’d love to be one. You are doins something that I would probably never have the guts to do. Keep havin’ fun! 🙂

  • martinruffner

    you have the cool 51 year old down the pink hair just a newer twist. Sara hope you plant something this spring and see it grow out in the Sun. Imagine you are a WW2 vet or something equally encouraging be creative and victory is yours

  • Knoob

    Isn’t the whole point of dating to find the perfect partner … and then change them?!

  • janedoe68

    @knoob – I so hope you are making a joke.
    @Arlynn – Sweetheart, as a 43 year old that has had pink hair in her 40’s… i say bring it on babe!!! Your never too old! 😉 Your awe-inspiring honey; as always. Even in the times of mist & fog, you send out an inviting beautiful glow for all to see.
    i hope that sara realizes that she is a very fortunate woman for the family support that she does have in all of this (if your reading this sara, you are, and for getting to meet our fb wonderwoman)

    xoxo

    Jane

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