twenty three days before this homeless winnetka matron starts selling streetwise. . .

packing up a quarter century of my life.  my ex-husband’s life.  the lives of my sons joseph and eastman.  and my stepchildren david and elisabeth.  the sighs–oh, that’s the second grade workshop project that eastman made me!  the delights–now i know where the hell the cheese grater ended up!  and the self-reproach–really, did i need four sets of dessert plates when i’m an eat the ice cream right out of the container girl?

and what exactly were seventeen of these doing behind the speakers in eastman’s bedroom?

 

life follows us.  and we decide how we mold our experiences.  i can be worried and scared about being twenty three days away from the closing on the house.  i can be excited because i am being given something that not a lot of people my age have–freedom to do exactly as i please untethered by the weight of responsibility to family or real estate.  i can course up and down through the emotional double helix while packing one set of teacups for my stepdaughter elisabeth.

is there something you’re enduring that you’re not too happy with?  what if you turned it upside down and looked at it as a blessing?  i’m not asking you to change your mind about it.  just two or three moments of thinking “i’m really happy that. . . .”  i’m not convinced i’m all that good at it–and my balloons are still stuck to the telephone wires.


7 responses to “twenty three days before this homeless winnetka matron starts selling streetwise. . .

  • Bruce Cohen and Friends

    Are you serious? If so call me maybe I can help.

  • Rachel Creager Ireland

    haha, I get the Streetwise thing cause I used to live in Chicago. I’m sure you’d be great at it! The gratitude reminds me of an exercise I learned in Rebirthing. You write stream of consciousness for a page or so, then circle every thought that implies that anything is undesirable. Then take each circled item and re-write it into a sentence, “It’s okay that _______.” Then again, re-write each sentence “I’m glad that _______ because ________” If you don’t have a reason to be glad, make one up, and you don’t have to believe it, just write something. Amazing things happen with this exercise.
    I’m sure you’ll get something worked out, but if not, we have rooms here. Surely not as swanky as your place in Winnetka, but I’d love to meet you in person, and if you want to clean motel rooms or mow the lawn, you could stay a while.

  • carolynquinn

    Arlynn darling, you think too much! Be like the surfers: “Ride with the tide and go with the flow!”

  • Tony Tyner

    Hi Arlynn – thought of you and another friend going through something similar, yesterday at church when I read the Daily Word.

    Free
    I AM FREE TO SPREAD MY WINGS AND SOAR.
    As I glimpse a bird flying in the sky above, I consider what its day might be like. It is free to soar without limitation, to fly wherever it chooses.

    In many ways, I am like that bird. I, too, am free to spread my wings and soar beyond seeming limitations. I feel free and light as I consider how I might give wings to my dreams. Perhaps it is time to begin a new chapter in my life, set a new course. I am not restricted by circumstance, for I see beyond to new possibilities.

    Blessed with the gift of imagination, I envision my life made new. I release old ways of thinking and being and take my next step with faith and excitement. I am free to create the life I desire—free as a bird!

  • Pink Ninjabi

    Love this post and yes, I recently learned from http://catforsley.me/ that to even have 5 true friends is rich indeed as we rarely find these soul mates, and then I realize how blessed I am.

  • monicanamaste

    My dear friend and confident mate I would like you to invite you to enjoy hhtp://lgbtec.org.uk

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