packing up a quarter century of my life. my ex-husband’s life. the lives of my sons joseph and eastman. and my stepchildren david and elisabeth. the sighs–oh, that’s the second grade workshop project that eastman made me! the delights–now i know where the hell the cheese grater ended up! and the self-reproach–really, did i need four sets of dessert plates when i’m an eat the ice cream right out of the container girl?
life follows us. and we decide how we mold our experiences. i can be worried and scared about being twenty three days away from the closing on the house. i can be excited because i am being given something that not a lot of people my age have–freedom to do exactly as i please untethered by the weight of responsibility to family or real estate. i can course up and down through the emotional double helix while packing one set of teacups for my stepdaughter elisabeth.
is there something you’re enduring that you’re not too happy with? what if you turned it upside down and looked at it as a blessing? i’m not asking you to change your mind about it. just two or three moments of thinking “i’m really happy that. . . .” i’m not convinced i’m all that good at it–and my balloons are still stuck to the telephone wires.