Tag Archives: air travel

when i’m gone. . . . this is where i’d like to be

get up in chicago, pile into the airplane and sit.

and sit some more.  our airplane had a problem, the pilot explained, one that required bringing a technician onboard to disable the lavatories in the “aft” compartment.  i’m not great on my aeronautical terms, but i figured out pretty quick that “aft” meant that the first class passengers still had a bathroom but the rest of didn’t.  and then, forty five minutes later, we took off.

i am in tallahassee where one of my facebook friends, my father justin, lives.  he is experiencing meta-fan-tastic prostate cancer and will undergo the experimental treatment provenge.  provenge is a one time only treatment that costs $90K and man, i sure hope it works.

it’s a good thing that i’m here, because justin’s wife had a business trip so she’s gone.  and tomorrow morning  justin and i show up for the treatment which involves all his blood being sucked out of his body and the white cells taken out to be sent to north carolina where they will be genetically altered and reinserted into his body in tallahassee on friday.

my plans of meeting facebook friends all over the state are a bit compromise.  nonetheless, i was so grateful that facebook friend william taylor, er, bill, came to visit me and my dad.  and took me to my favorite place in tallahassee.

in the old city cemetery in tallahassee, there is the monument to elizabeth budd graham who died in the late nineteenth century. some people believe that she was a witch because the inscribed face of the monument faces west. (please remind my sons joseph and eastman to face my monument to the east so that there’s no misunderstanding, although certain ex-husbands and boyfriends may beg to differ).

because we were meeting for the first time, bill brought a birthday cake that was a symbol of all the birthdays that we had missed as friends.  he transposed the numbers.  oops!

bill got a little confused: a twenty fifth birthday for moi? no, i’m actually fifty two but a gal can remember can’t she? i was grateful–and i was happy for his upcoming birthday in october! maybe when friends meet for the first time, they should celebrate the birthdays they have missed! and for bill and i that’s a lot of birthdays!


tomorrow i have to cancel some plans, some rentals, some tickets, but the most important thing is to take care of my father.  but the most placid picnic ground in tallahassee. . .

i’m feeling pretty alec baldwin myself today

last night, i was feeling all cinderella–i was invited by f2fb friend #272 jessica zweig to a cheekychicago.com party at the stylish oak street shop calypso.  cheeky chicago is a woman’s guide to the city and, according to the website, a cheeky chick is “fun, fabulous, and fierce. . . . chic, intelligent and in-the-know.”  i needed more than a fairy godmother to transform me, but i put on the arlynn uniform of black skirt, black sweater and headed downtown.

i wasn’t sure how i knew jessica.  i wasn’t even sure if i’d recognize her.  but meeting new people doesn’t phase jessica–every month she’s doing what i’ve been doing this year, meeting facebook friends.  she has over 2900 but she is very careful about whose friendship requests she accepts:  she accepts only cheeky chicks (although our one mutual friend is f2fb friend #239 jim levin and i just don’t see him that way).  she invites her friends to parties that showcase what’s best about the city:  this evening it was a resort wear shop–there was a cupcake buffet and champagne that was only out-sparkled by the conversations of jessica’s friends.

jessica is adorable, beautiful and quick to welcome me with a big hug! i had such a wonderful time and i can't wait for cheekychicago.com's january event!

but every cinderella has to wake up by the cold fireplace.  which i literally did.  the duraflame box was empty, it was six o’clock, and i knew that i am going to have an alec baldwin day.

mr. baldwin got thrown off an american airlines flight yesterday--perhaps he wasn't carrying his capital one credit card! what happens with his miles? he blames 9/11. sort of.

i’m flying today.  at the beginning of the year, just this statement alone would scare me.  plane crashes.  that’s what i worried about.  these days there’s so much more.  after more than forty flights (i miscounted at 39 a few days ago) this year alone in my quest to meet all my facebook friends by the end of the year, i can honestly say that alec baldwin is right:  the airlines have sucked every possible pleasure out of the flying experience.  and they are aided by t.s.a. who makes even six year olds and eighty five year old grandmothers feel like they are doing a perp walk.

i will be manhandled.  i will have some gal with blue latex gloves feel me up.  i’ll have someone snap at me with disdain.  oh, wait, mr. baldwin didn’t have to go through that because he travels first class.

and at my seat, the porcine man to my right will take over the armrests while the woman on my left will cough up weird green matter.  then the flight attendant will tell me i can’t put my bag here, can’t put my bag there, can’t leave my window open, and that tray table better stay up there even if it’s broken.  of course, in first class there’s a little more room and the flight attendants put your bags away for you and ask you if they can take your coat as well.  guess alec ain’t having none of that!

and then me and my fellow passengers will sit at the gate for half an hour.   and the captain will say we’re leaving in fifteen and we’ll all know he’s lying.  you never want to believe your captain is lying.  at least in first class they get a drink.  my preflight beer will have worn off and nobody is allowed to use the bathroom whether we slam the door or close it very very gently.  uh, mr. baldwin?

but i’m doing this because this year i made a new year’s resolution to meet my facebook friends.  thank you, f2fb friend jessica zweig for giving me a hug and telling me that i can finish this!!!!

p.s. mr. baldwin wrote an apology to his fellow passengers that you can read right here:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alec-baldwin/american-airlines-service-_b_1135201.html?ref=entertainment&ir=Entertainment

my audition tape for american airlines

i wasn’t all that ready for a trip to atlanta.  oh, i was packed but there was a thunderstorm and i had pulled a muscle and i didn’t have it in my for the two hour flight to atlanta and the half hour drive to visit f2fb friend #198 dale morgan.

but i got to the airport and settled in for the preflight beer, when i heard the one thing that drives flyers nuts:  cancelled.  i prepared myself.

my little audition didn’t work–the airline has a very intriguing view of geography and to their mind, it made a lot of sense for me to wait three hours, fly to miami, wait another three hours and fly into atlanta.  i thought it would be way nicer to just go home, put on my pajamas, have campbell’s soup for dinner and get a good night’s rest.  tomorrow is another day, and i can try again.

but the airline had booked the flights without telling me or either of the ambitious boy scouts with cameras.  we rolled into atlanta at one thirty and made it to the hampton inn by a very reasonable three thirty.  by four thirty i was asleep.  just an eighteen hour journey.

the only problem with growing old is that the power you had as a kid to fall asleep anywhere is atrophied.  i woke up at seven.  but at least i’m in atlanta.  and timmy?  he’s fine!