i was intimidated as i approached the gate house:  two other cars had been turned away.  the sign said not only was there to be no trespassing but have your driver’s license ready for inspection.  when it was time for me to pull up, i noticed the guard had a tattoo of a lipstick imprint on the side of her neck.  she took my driver’s license.

“it’s a really bad picture,”  i said.

she handed it back without looking at me.  i don’t think it’s THAT bad of a picture.

i was in calabasas.  rumor has it that way up in the mountains, at the highest tier towards heaven, britney spears has a mansion.  and so does michael jackson’s mom.

i met f2fb #146 candice appleton vaugh at a wedding.  it was the wedding of some people i didn’t know so i was free to make new friends without any reservations or preconceptions.  i immediately liked her and we spent most of the weekend together through rehearsal dinner, pre-wedding receptions, the wedding itself, the reception, the post-wedding breakfast.  she is intelligent without being pedantic, empathic without being intrusive and beautiful without the arrogance that occasionally infects beauty.  after the wedding, she went back to her home in calabasas.  i went back to winnetka.  we were facebook friends who occasionally posted on each other’s walls.  but when was i honestly ever to meet her again?

on this trip to california, i thought maybe i’d get to see britney if i was in calabasas.  but alas, no.  most of the mountain community’s homes are in gated areas and candice’s home is no different.  but it’s no tmz.com, no britney, no neverland.  her house is beautiful but her focus is on raising her two daughters to be polite, well mannered, responsible women.  which candice does by reminding her daughters at every moment that in every situation there are choices.  it is how i tried to raise joseph and eastman.

the family served a dinner of ribs, corn, salad and candice’s homemade cookies.  they have two dogs, one of whom welcomed me by laying on my feet–the other is a recently adopted rescue dog who has a habit of finding lightbulbs and trying to eat them.  after dinner, the girls put on a play for everybody in their playroom.  i was made aware that beauty does not come from the exterior of things, it comes from the conscious choices we make.  as i left the home, the two daughters jordan and mackenzie–dressed as sleeping beauty and tinkerbell respectively, waved their tiny magic wands and blessed my journey.

then i went to my safe place in california, the home where i cannot have anxiety attacks, the place from which i adventure–

i cannot have an anxiety attack in room 212. that would be impossible because it's a safe place.

then i have to take william clark (f2fb #60) to manhattan beach to meet my facebook friend cathy who is training in reiki, a japanese form of healing.

mr. clark believes sometimes we should stop and hang out, especially at beaches