i thought about my two moms yesterday. it’s near christmas. i worry about whether i’m a good mom to my boys. i watched an episode of modern family. i get a little sentimental.
so i checked. yes, my mom is on facebook. my biological mom.
my biological mom aleta and her then-husband my biological father justin put me up for adoption just before i turned three years old. i was adopted by the patrick family. the patricks were told by the adoption agency caseworker that it was best to change my name (from arlynn to lynn) and to try to erase all memories of my relationship with my biological parents. when i finally went to live with the patricks i wasn’t allowed to take my clothes or even my favorite stuffed kitten. i obviously knew i had been adopted but nothing else beyond that bare fact. in fact, when i saw my birth certificate for the first time, i was startled to realize that the state of illinois had switched the names of my parents.
these days people are more inclined to use “open” adoption or to give the child a sense of whatever heritage or history there is.
i left the patricks when i was just shy of fifteen and entered into the illinois foster system. ultimately i went to college and law school. after law school, i hired a private investigator to locate my biological parents. it took him roughly a month to find my father justin (who is my facebook friend) and it took him roughly another month to locate my mother because she had remarried and divorced a second time, retaining her second husband’s last name.
after a few years, i lost track of my mom aleta. i’ve tried phone books, google searches, directory assistance a few times over the years but she has seemed lost to me forever. this morning, it took me less than twenty seconds to find her on facebook. i’ve sent a friendship request. we’ll see what happens. so far she has “ignored” the request.
yesterday, i also got a chance to get a “two-fer” on my facebook new year’s resolution. i am friends with liza roche who works for the sun-times media group. i first met her at the winnetka rotary club.
liza is also the editor of the winnetka talk newspaper. the winnetka talk is one of many chicago area pioneer press papers owned by the sun-times.
i saw both friends at the pioneer press offices. in the days before the internet, a newspaper often had a “bullpen” of reporters working together. these days, a reporter might work from home or from the table next to you at starbucks or caribou coffee.