Tag Archives: amazon.com

cherries in the snow

in the dark ages of publishing, which is to say twenty years ago when i sold my first book, an author had to endure rejection. . .and more rejection.  one’s manuscript went to a publisher, a rejection was issued, and the writer had a choice of a) sending said manuscript to another publisher or b) slitting one’s wrists.

really, this sort of correspondence can kill a writer's dreams but this is exactly the sort of stuff one endured.  again.  and again.  and again.

really, this sort of correspondence can kill a writer’s dreams but this is exactly the sort of stuff one endured. again. and again. and again.

 

these days, there’s self-publishing.  or what was once called “vanity” publishing.  it’s not that the self-publishing author is vain.  it’s that the self-publishing author is sick and tired of rejection.

i haven’t actually self-published my latest piece but that’s only because i have a very good friend oj dorson who knows how to upload or download or whatever it is that makes a story show up on the shelves, er, pages of amazon.com.  i also have a friend tony tyner who is killer at making cover art.

so i hope you go download this and read it and tell me what you think!  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DEQQZTW

so i hope you go download this and read it and tell me what you think!  it’s a heartwarming story about a funeral home, an ill-advised one night stand, and unrequited love.

 

so if you click here http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DEQQZTW and download it.  you don’t even have to have a kindle to do this!  and if you have stories you want to make available to others, you can do it too.  by yourself or with a friend like oj.

richard brautigan was a fabulous american poet and novelist who believed that there should be public libraries in which were housed one book by every citizen of the land.  this democratization of literature is exactly the sort of thing that self-publishing on the internet allows for!

richard brautigan was a fabulous american poet and novelist who believed that there should be public libraries in which were housed one book by every citizen of the land. this democratization of literature is exactly the sort of thing that self-publishing on the internet allows for!

 


mrs. vander leyden’s glasses, (nearly) free literature and no english teachers

this past week, my friend and publisher oj dorson released the newest read–mrs. vander leyden’s glasses–on amazon.com.  you don’t have to have a kindle but it’s nice if you do.  you can read it on your phone, you can read it on a plane, you can read it in the bath.  but please, no reading while driving.

this read was published by oj dorson and the cover art created by tony tyner.  it is just 99 cents which is such a steal!

this read was published by oj dorson and the cover art created by tony tyner. it is just 99 cents which is pretty sweet and (nearly) free!

you can get this heartbreaking work of staggering genius (or just this story) at http://www.amazon.com/Mrs-Vander-Leydens-Glasses-ebook/dp/B00CQAQ6XC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369064472&sr=8-1&keywords=mrs.+vander+leyden%27s+glasses.

if you want an english teacher to demand that you do some derrida like deconstruction of the text, you have to order that separately.  i think you should just sit back and enjoy. . .

if you want an english teacher to demand that you do some derrida like deconstruction of the text, you have to order that separately.

deconstruction of text has been something i haven’t had to deal with in a while.  nor english teachers, not that there is anything wrong with english teachers.  generally, any love of reading didn’t come from an english class.  another thing i haven’t had to deal with in a bit is an editor wielding a rejection letter.

really, this sort of correspondence can kill even the best ambitions. shouldn't we do our best to avoid putting ourselves through this?

really, this sort of correspondence can kill even the best ambitions. shouldn’t we do our best to avoid putting ourselves through this?

 

instead, i just posted on facebook that i needed some help figuring out how to publish a story.  and oj appeared.  then i said i needed a cover.  and tony and oj put one together.  i can’t say i’m great at self-promoting. . .

in 2011 i had a new years resolution to meet all 325 of my facebook friends no matter where they might be.  then i wrote a book about it which has been published by tate publishing company.  i thought they had a publicity department and maybe they do.  or at least they have some gal who sends group email exhorting me (and presumably other tate writers) to get the word out.  the reclusive writer j.d. salinger wouldn't have survived this modern age.  on the other hand, he was said to have continued to write long after he had decided to not publish.  is it literature if you don't have an interaction between a reader and a writer?  uh-oh, that sounds like something an english teacher would  inquire about.

in 2011 i had a new years resolution to meet all 325 of my facebook friends no matter where they might be. then i wrote a book about it which has been published by tate publishing company. i thought they had a publicity department and maybe they do. or at least they have some gal who sends group email exhorting me (and presumably other tate writers) to get the word out. the reclusive writer j.d. salinger wouldn’t have survived this modern age. on the other hand, he was said to have continued to write long after he had decided to not publish. is it literature if you don’t have an interaction between a reader and a writer? uh-oh, that sounds like something an english teacher would inquire about.

 

 

 


immortality in five easy steps

it’s what the egyptians wanted with their mummies and their pyramids.  it’s what ponce de leon wanted with the fountain of youth.  it’s why vampires get weary, mostly because they’ve figured out that immortality is fun . . . for the first thousand years or so.

woody allen opined that he didn’t want to be immortal through his work. . . he wanted to achieve it through not dying.

eternal nothingness is fine if you're dressed for it. . . another fine quote from the man

eternal nothingness is fine if you’re dressed for it. . . another fine quote from the man

 

but what if physical immortality isn’t possible (well, actually, it isn’t possible but that’s another really depressing blog post)

what if instead of physical immortality you’re going to have to do it through good works?  you could found a a country, but that seems to be a rather crowded field.  you could write a heartbreaking work of impossible genius but that’s going to cut into the time you spend watching reruns of parks and recreation.  you could commit a major crime, which seems to be how some people are trying to do this, but that would break your mother’s heart.  and you don’t look good in an orange jumpsuit, trust me, nobody does.  so maybe you’re thinking immortality isn’t going to be for you. . . i’m here to tell you you’re wrong.  you’re going to be immortal.  sure, it’s in a literary sense, but that’s better than the big zero. and immortality is only going to cost you 99 cents.

steps to immortality:

1.  get comfortable in front of your computer.

2.  go to http://www.amazon.com/Mrs-Vander-Leydens-Glasses-ebook/dp/B00CQAQ6XC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368534528&sr=8-1&keywords=mrs.+vander+leyden%27s+glasses

this read was published by oj dorson and the cover art created by tony tyner.  your little slice of the literary heavens will be available on amazon.com within a few months!

this read was published by oj dorson and the cover art created by tony tyner. your little slice of the literary heavens will be available on amazon.com within a few months!

3.  buy it.  read it.  and here’s the tricky part:  review it.  you can probably skate on buying it but reviewing it, gotta do it.

4.  i don’t care if you review it and says it’s great.  or lousy.  or that you couldn’t finish it.  or that you’re an english lit teacher and you’re putting me under citizen’s arrest for defiling the english language.

5.  i am now in your debt.  which means, i will write my next story about you.  yes, you.  which means that you become as much a part of literature as elizabeth bennett, holden caulfield, or that danish prince.  no guarantees on the quality of the work, but enthusiasm will be aplenty.

and if woody allen offers you a better deal, i only hope that you’ll tell me how he does it!

 


please!

i want you, yes you there on the other side of the internet, i want your creativity, your talent, your passion, your verve!  i want to collaborate with you in a special way:

this story was uploaded to amazon by my friend oj.  i want you to read it, review it, and help write its second draft.  click on http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CE04WGW to find it.  oj, by the way, now qualifies as a publisher because he designed the cover and uploaded the text.  this for this next story, i want YOUR help!

this story was uploaded to amazon by my friend oj. i want you to read it, review it, and help write its second draft. click on http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CE04WGW to find it. oj, by the way, now qualifies as a publisher because he designed the cover and uploaded the text. this for this next story, i want YOUR help!

 

so i have a new story i want to have oj publish.  but i’d like some cover art.  i’d like your cover art and what do i want to give you?

undying devotion

attribution on the cover and in the text

the chance to dedicate your cover art to yourself, a loved one, a pet

a thank you note from me (i’ll break out the crane’s stationery for this)

and the right to say “yeah, i spent last week working on a book” which gets you out of having to explain why you didn’t get your midterm paper written

 

so here’s what you do:  email me at apresser@hotmail.com or just leave a comment here.  i will send you a file.  read it.  send me artwork in the form of a jpg (at least i think that’s what oj would want).  we have a tight deadline so what are you waiting for?

 

oh, yes, i nearly forgot:

please