and a challenge for you:
this year has been a year of losses, most particularly the loss of my best friend which occurred last week. but counting up my losses is not as productive as counting blessings. my new friend boris certainly knows about counting blessings.
in 2011, i made a new year’s resolution to spend the year visiting each and every facebook friend i had at the time. it was a fun year, a year of discovery, a year of having to push my boundaries. 325 friends? oh, yeah, and 13 countries and just about every state in the nation. being an agoraphobic who has difficulty leaving the house it was a challenge. but it was also a pleasure because i got to be with friends, some of whom i had only known online, some of whom i hadn’t seen in decades, some of whom turned out to be, well, catfish.
this year, my resolution is to recover myself. and to do what my friend mark hashizume calls self-care. so every day i will do and blog about an act intentionally meant to care for myself. i ask you, i challenge you, to do the same with me. we all have had tough years–i have a friend who lost a husband to alzheimer’s. a friend who lost her five year old son to cancer. a friend whose son committed suicide. a friend who lost her home (oh, wait, i did too). and then there’s ryan gosling–
ryan, really, we both have to move on especially now that you and eva are becoming parents. think of her feelings! and the arlynn presser t-shirt isn’t going to make her feel strong and confident as she should! but truly, i understand your pain. i’ll always love you.
how do you self-care? how do you think should start self-care? and can we help each other self-care together?
arlynnpresser 
December 21st, 2014 at 11:24 pm
You’ve got more friends than you realize, ArLynn! Anyone who walks away from you can only have bad taste, and if he has bad taste, what would you want to be friends with HIM for in the first place? Everyone else is here for you. Rock on, sister!
December 21st, 2014 at 11:27 pm
thanks sistah! tell me about something you do for self-care!
December 22nd, 2014 at 8:03 am
Ha, you want the list? I always say when the going gets tough, the tough buy nail polish! I get together with friends. I go to the movies. I read new books about different places or time periods. I play the kind of music that makes me happy: show tunes and songs of the 1920s. I run Internet searches on any and all subjects that interest me. If something unpleasant happens – like the fact that I waited an hour and a half in the cold wind for a bus the other night, because when a driver calls in sick they don’t always send out a substitute – I have a blast writing a “love letter” to the company, in this case the MTA, and trying to get some action about it. I’m writing a mystery in addition to working full time and having a wonderful time with that. As Auntie Mame said, “Open a New Window!”
December 21st, 2014 at 11:31 pm
Finally admitting I have Diabetes (Have been taking medication for it for 5 years) and losing 70 lbs in 2015.
December 21st, 2014 at 11:35 pm
thank you tony! you have always been such a good friend! and i admire how you have buitl your life!
December 22nd, 2014 at 4:58 am
I admire your . . . I don’t know what, determination, attitude, ability to commit, something like that. I don’t have answers to your questions but I’ll let you know when I think of some.
December 22nd, 2014 at 6:48 am
i have a full year of self care in front of me. i know you’ll think of something and it will turn out to be fun and healing. i admire you so much and i’m asking you adn every other family and friend to help me. it’s been an unbelievable year. i need my friends and my healing more than you can imagine. and you–i have thought of you as so unbelievably put together but maybe this is a year that you and i can heal each other! much love!
December 29th, 2014 at 3:31 pm
Okay, now I’m over the laugh (unbelievably put together? I’m sure no one’s ever said that about me!), I can type again. I am a good healer, so if you come to Kansas, please make time for a massage! I don’t have lodging anymore, but there are some nice places nearby.
December 29th, 2014 at 3:55 pm
please tell me you’re not homeless!
December 29th, 2014 at 4:36 pm
No, just closed the motel. Still have the spa, am turning a motel room into a writing/crafting studio for myself, and the Mr. has a 9-5.
Lots of transitions are underway, but when is that ever not the case?
December 29th, 2014 at 4:45 pm
so true that!
December 22nd, 2014 at 9:22 am
Hi, even though I am struggling with agoraphobia, my self care routine involves an obscene love of makeup. The dashes of pretty colors are good for my mood and make me kind of excited about staring at my otherwise unexciting face in the mirror while getting ready for the possibility of leaving my house. Also, I like hydrating masks at night. Happy Holidays.
~Esme
December 22nd, 2014 at 3:53 pm
esme, you sound absolutely beautiful! and myself? i’m a way too much mascara making liza minelli look like she’s going all natural kind of girl! but today you make me want to go buy lipstick! are you able to get out of the house much?
December 22nd, 2014 at 5:33 pm
Thanks for sharing this ArLynn and posing the questions.
I am doing self care with my daily meditation practice. Plus my doggie walks me twice a day.
Let me know how I can support you.
December 22nd, 2014 at 6:42 pm
mark, it’s been a time of grief for me but i have been so touched by your friendship. today i’m still working on the getting out of bed thing. maybe i should try taking the dog for a walk as well!
December 22nd, 2014 at 5:50 pm
If I may suggest this…there are a LOT of people out there who get off on being very abusive to others. If any of you have encountered some of them, and they’ve made your life miserable, that’s bad, but that’s on them. You’re not “sick,” and you don’t need “healing” – THEY do! Don’t take it into yourselves. Living well is the BEST revenge!