if you’re shaking with fear, i am too!

so last year right around this time i couldn’t leave the house.  i was scared.  i had scared myself witless by making a new years eve resolution to meet all 325 of my facebook friends.

it would take a lot to get me to leave the house. you might have a phobia that everyone knows about or that you keep to yourself. it might sound silly to others or to yourself but it's real. okay, except maybe freddy krueger in my house isn't. . .


so i hope you have made a resolution.  something about yourself that you want to change.  something that defeats you, makes you feel like you’re not as good as others, that paralyzes you.  i want you to figure out a specific goal that will show you once and for all that you are strong.  make it a very specific goal and write it down.  and then go tell every one of your friends. . . some of them will laugh, some of them will shrug their shoulders like it’s no big deal.

but some of your friends already know what this means to you.  and they are the ones who will tell you that you CAN!  


i want to know your resolution.  you can email me, you can comment, you can friend me on facebook and tell me about it.  but i want to know what it is.  and if it’s that you want to leave your house, i want you to tell me too!

one of my new facebook friends messaged me that his sister is getting married in march.  he’s housebound and most of his family assumes he won’t be able to go to the wedding.  much less dance at the wedding.  which is something he’d really like to do.  i hope he emails me today to tell me that he has visualized himself having fun at the reception, or that he’s visited the website of the church so that he’s familiar with the layout, or even that he called his sister and asked her to show him some of her wedding preparations.  just one thing.  tomorrow is soon enough for step two.

i spent the first week of january last year unsure of what to do to reach my goal.  to visit a friend in the philippines?  to see someone in nome, alaska?  to travel to new york city?  325 friends, all in one year?  time for the blindfold.

pick one small thing you can do today and write down immediately what you did.  and tell me about it.  

the first day i started working on my resolution, i visited one friend.  my younger son eastman.  we went out onto the front porch and smoked cigarettes.  i know, not a very good thing for a mom to do but i really felt that i was getting one step closer.  just 324 more friends, i thought.

if i had thought too much about how many countries i would visit and how many times i would shut the door on my house and leave i couldn't have done it.


so pick the first step for today.  one tiny tiny thing that gets you an inch closer to your goal. 

my goal this year is to take what i learned about last year and make this YOUR year.  to write and share about my experiences.  to give back what my friends gave me in 2011, namely their support and their time and their energy.

so tell me about your goal, tell me about what you did today.

5 responses to “if you’re shaking with fear, i am too!

  • rachelci

    I started with daily EFT a couple weeks before the end of the year, and I’m liking it so much I’m continuing into the new year. What I’m finding is that clearing baggage makes such a huge difference that I’ve decided to make that my project for the year. The Mr. has decided to make this the year we sell our home/business, so all the more reason for me to get rid of anything I don’t want to be carrying around for the rest of my life, physical, mental, or emotional. I joked on fb that I am getting rid of stuff, does anyone want any books, and surprise, several of my friends right away said yes, so I’m ready to rehome a lot of books. One is starting a lending library in her store, and asked for books on natural healing, pregnancy, herbs, etc, and though that wasn’t what I intended to give away, I right away found 4 and gave them to her yesterday. 500 more to go . . . also I’m tying this in with making a room for myself. I have had a recurring theme in dreams over many years in which I am just moving into a big house with lots of rooms, so many I can decide what I want to do in every room. Recently I woke from such a dream and thought, oh, if only I had a place like that . . . and then I thought . . . I own a motel. wtf? We have some rooms that aren’t rentable, so I’m going to make one my study. I’ll set up the sewing machine and a desk where I can write, which will clear some space in the house for the mr. to make music. I used to be afraid to take on big projects of any kind, but I think it’s because of the EFT, well maybe also the 5-htp, I feel a lot more capable of getting things done these days. thank you Arlynn for making a place for me to put this into writing. I’m getting excited already!

  • Martin

    Went to a New Years party where I knew know one….very different

  • Cindy Cantora

    I decided to change attitudes in many years …
    15 years ago I have agoraphobia and want to change it … just do not know where to start …
    Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m sure will help me a lot.


  • sformolo

    I spent the last 20 hours flying back to Amerika via Istanbul, LA, Honolulu. I arrived in Honolulu airport and just stood for a good 5 minutes in the open air and sucked yes sucked in the floral fragrance so indigenous to the islands. I was back home or is it just another place to lay my head.
    With my two monster suitcases ladened with all kinds of exotic Turkish foods, my friend Gina wisked me out of the airport and deposited me and luggage at my new digs, the East/West dorms for grad students. I checked in at the desk and entered my double dorm room and felt so blessed that I actually had a place to live all lined up. I opened the windows and sat in the dark inhaling the cool Hawaii breezes. It is good to feel the sway of island life again.
    My biggest challenge I face is to start and finish my thesis by the summer. Also my last class this spring semester. Then the world is open to me.
    The last three weeks I have been traveling around Turkey’s Mediterranean and Aegean coast with my cousin Maria. Life is so quiet and diaphanous in these small fishing towns. Turkey is such a beautiful country. I miss the friends I made there while teaching and all my students. I know without a doubt that is the side of the world that inspires my passions for life, culture, and learning. I have met many English teachers traveling on holiday around Turkey from all corners of the world. Met an interesting woman, Leah and her boyfriend which Maria and I have dubbed Princess Leah and Hans solo. Princess Leah teaches in Abu Dhabi and loves it. Yes I will apply at the university where she teaches. Desert life mixed with modern comforts fascinates me.
    I yearn for the open road and to continue my life as a nomad, moving and exploring. My father once told me he would change only one part of his life. He felt the constant moving was hard on his 5 children. God knows I moved every year of my life until I was 13. But I’m glad of this gypsy life, it has taught me to move and assimilate and learn to survive anywhere.
    Let us hope we are both kindred spirits and can move on with our friendship we started so many years ago. I am proud of your goal and accomplishment of last year. Fears are so difficult to overcome. For tonight I will curl up in my dorm room and feel at peace with all I have accomplished these past 4 months.
    Sherry from Hawaii

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